When the IT guy in my office starts his "explanation" on what's wrong with my PC using words I don't understand, when all I want him to do is tell me my baby is gonna be ok... I also prattle on a little about MacGyver, the 80s series I used to enjoy as a kid... Not really sure why my computer problem made me suddenly reminisce about the 80s and think of MacGyver... I realize I'm a very strange woman.
A Note to the IT guy in my Office
Look, I don't mean to be the type of person you wish you could erase with a click of your mouse... but could you please tell me what's wrong with my PC and what I need to do... in a language I can understand...
and not all that ancient alien stuff you're spewing... Cause I'm listening to you talk and all I hear is "Ancient Astronaut Theorists suggest..."
Think of me as a 4-year-old learning my ABCs... Cause I didn't get a word you were saying just now... or what I'm supposed to do to solve my PC problem.
Are you speaking Kryptonese? Cause it certainly sounded like that to me.
I know these are just common, everyday words to you.
They're NOT for me.
Yes. This is exactly what you look like to me right now with that fast way you were saying your words, using a jargon, only you can understand.
Hey, you can minion talk me all you want, with your "po-ka" and "la-boda" but the only thing going through my mind is... I want a banana... which would be lovely in some milk shake... that has a dash of rum... Cause that oatmeal I had for lunch didn't really satisfy my gastronomic urges.
You can stare at me, all you want, Michael Scott, but I'm willing to bet a lot of IT people in your "office" have also filled you with the urgent need for a spiked milkshake.
Yes, Mr. IT Guy? No... my mind isn't wandering... Still paying attention... but still not getting what you're saying...
Whoaaa... So that's how the insides of a computer looks like... And that's why you brought all your gadgets... I was wondering why you needed all those mechanic tools...
Was kinda worried you were going to use them on me... to you know... tighten those bolts in my head...
No... I'm not giggling at you... Just randomly giggling at my own stupid joke... I do that all the time... laugh at my own jokes... They are not funny... but they seem to amuse me...
What's that you said? No!!! I don't really have bolts in my head... It was a joke...
I know... I know... The joke wasn't very good... I didn't say I was Wanda Sykes...
What, Mr. IT Guy? Wanda Sykes??? Oh... She??? She's a comedian...
I was trying to be a comedian too...
Why do you have the confused look on your face, Mr. IT Guy?
The look that says, “Please don't quit your day job”.... which, to be honest, is a look I get often at my every attempt to be funny...
So you don't watch comedies? You probably watch IT movies, eh?
Like what??? Maybe Swordfish??? I watched it during my university days...
Haven't seen it? It's an IT film... It was about hacking and stuff... Hugh Jackman was in it... Yeahhh the Wolverine guy...
He can do such diverse roles, don't you agree? Comedy... Drama... brooding... Did you know he once played a Duke... I love the Victorian era... Especially the big hoop skirts.... One of my favorite authors is Georgette Heyer and her Regency books...
Man. Hugh Jackman is such a cool actor, isn't he?
Wait... Hang on... I didn't catch what you were saying, Mr. IT Guy?
No... Nothing is wrong with me... Why do you keep asking me that...
No... I'm not talking about Victoria's Secret... Why do all men only think of models? Like couldn't men just stick to thinking of sports...
Yeah I do like to talk a lot...
You don't really consider hacking as IT?
Well... Ok... I hear you...
What did you say, Mr. IT Guy?
That you were probably not even born yet when I was doing my degree?
Wait... How old do you think I am...
No... I'm not showing you the finger...
That's my Wolverine impersonation...
