12) Benefits of Not Having Anyone to Celebrate Valentine's Day With

#BetterThingsToDoThanFallingInLove  

When it's Valentine's Day and everyone is talking about love and romance... but you're like the Valentine Scrooge... so the only thing on your mind is the box of chocolates in the fridge... that you bought for yourself, although they were expensive, cause you're romantic like that... but you're trying to lose weight, so you can't eat them but you can't stop thinking about them either... so to take your mind of those dang chocolate truffles... and also so you won't be considered a loser, which is easier said than done... you write a tale of how much you dig being single.

 

So Valentine's Day has always been the busiest day for me, because of the endless string of dead dates.

(actually "dead" is more suitable... cause it'll be the night of the living dead if I were to date... mostly cause I would rather look at dead flies than date... and also my date would probably wish he was dead after one date with me)

Then, there are all the bouquet of flowers from guys asking me to be their Valentine. 

 

Yes, Derek Hale, I'm kidding!

Gee... When even a gif doesn't believe you.

So maybe the only flowers I've received are from people I share almost similar DNA with and could maybe receive a kidney from; my family, the people who are forced genetically inclined to like me.

But hey, flowers are still flowers, no matter who sends them. 

And the only males visiting me on Valentine's day are the stray cats in my neighborhood. And even then, they're not looking for me; their thoughts and eyes, are on the sexy female cat living next-door. #WhenYouCantEvenWinAgainstAcat.

And no... "cat" is not a euphemism for something else. When I say cat, I really mean cat. Of the genus Felis. The Felis Catus... Nope... Not a bad word.... It's the scientific name for cat.

Wait... Are you making fun of me, Damon Salvatore? 

 

Hey, I know stuff... Smart people stuff... I watch documentaries... and the History channel... Do their explanations take a moment to process... and sometimes believe? Perhaps... 

Like I'm smart.

But I could be smarter. 

The kind of smart, where I need to use Google to excitedly and correctly answer all the riddles shared in my family and extended family's group chat... 

Hey... It's not cheating... It's called being innovative...

Wait... Is that a skeptical look, Tyler???  

The “I don't think so but if you say so” look...  

Hey... Sure... I can take that look... 

Better than the “I wish you would stop talking” look...

 

And perhaps watching Columbo* makes me a little miserable... cause as much as I try, I'm never able to guess how Columbo is going to prove the crime and nail the killer.

*It's a 60s series that my mom made me watch because she said it's really good... and I grumbled and complained but gave in to watching it... because saying "no" to my mom is something I can never do... Then much to my chagrin, found the show to be really good... I even cheer when he gives his “Just One More Thing” as he delivers the final parting shot to the killer... Man... I guess there's some truth in the saying, “Your mom is always right.”

Also some of the jokes on Young Sheldon may need repeated listening for me to fully understand them...    

Then there are all the x-rated jokes on series like How I Met Your Mother, where I don't get the jokes at all. Like I have to Google it and still don't get the joke.... 

So maybe I'm a bit of a prude... and sometimes my brain falls asleep... It has low stamina. 

 

Why Hermione? I'm not being a bore, am I?

 

Et tu, Tyler Hoechlin?

Not the reaction you would hope for, as you begin your blog post... but anyway... back to the strays... 

The strays going for the cat that lives next door. Doesn't that always happen. The hot guy falling for the girl who lives next-door to you, or your room-mate, because she's way hotter than you. 

Wait... When I say “hot guy”, I meant men. Homo sapiens. Not cats. I don't think cats are hot... Look... I'm weird but not that weird... 

A random thought : If Tyler Hoechlin met me, he would probably think there's something wrong with me, wouldn't he? Gawd... I must stop this thing I do of thinking of him and mentioning his name each time I write a blog post. 

So anyway, the hot guy you like, falling for your next-door neighbor or your room-mate. That happens, doesn't it?  

Hey... I heard it from Ted when he told us how he met our mother... 

Yeahhh That came out wrong...  I meant, when he told his kids, how he met their mother... A series that would have been more aptly titled, "How I dated a bunch of women"...

Imagine how horrible it must be listening to your dad's crazy dating shenanigans...

Which to me , would probably be like eating bean sprouts, which I hate. They look like worms. Taste like one too?

Am I weird that I don't want to hear courtship tales of my parents...  My mom talks a little about her and my dad, and their “courtship”, and I'm like, "Somebody. PLEASE. COME AND TAKE ME AWAYYYY from here... right now... PLEASE!!"

Or I run to my room the moment she starts. 

Yes. Yes. I know. I'm like a 5-year-old. Sorry.

But I don't want to hear intimate romance stuff from my family members or friends. I still can't bring myself to watch the uncensored version of Game of Thrones... I watch the censored version of the show, where there are dragons, icy creatures, wolves and Jon Snow but no scenes that involves people doing stuff without their clothes on that makes me hug my pillow in terror.     

Haven't really experienced the guy falling for my room-mate thing though. Mostly cause I don't date... or have crushes on guys... 

Also, I live with my mom. And not in that, I-can't-afford-my-own-place, kind of way, but more of a, I-Love-My-Mom-And-She-Doesn't-Like-Living-Alone, kind of way. 

But then again, the hot guy falling for my mom could actually happen, mostly cause people generally assume she's my sister... And she's also way more popular than me... 

Pretty sure my friends and colleagues like my mom more than they like me... 

One colleague even calls my mom her best friend... My mom... Not me... My mom... And we've worked together for more than 10 years...  

And do I mind??? Not at all... I like my mom too...

Yeahhhh... I'm like the mold on a stale bread when compared to any member of my family... 

 

When even your celebrity crush agrees...

 

My parents are loved by many... So are my siblings... They're like the “Raymond”.... My brother and sister.... Everybody likes them... Smart, funny, the life of the party... 

I'm like the older brother in Everybody Likes Raymond... who tries his best... but it doesn't seem to be enough...  

With my siblings is full-on laughter... But with me is just awkward, polite giggles... It's like they laugh cause they feel sorry for me...

 

My thoughts exactly, Robert... My thoughts exactly...

 

Oh well... I'm not jealous though... I'm proud to be related to them... and excitedly share all their achievements with my friends and colleagues... 

I told my young cousin that I would never introduce her to Tyler Hoechlin because my cousin's so pretty, sweet and kind... What if he ends up liking her... 

It would kill me each time I see them together, and I can't even wish bad things on them cause I love my cousin... 

But it will hurt... Like I would cry myself to sleep every night... I'm actually already depressed just writing about it.

 

Sorry, Joey Lawrence. Got a little lost in this imaginary nightmare of mine...  

The nightmare of seeing Tyler Hoechlin with another woman, cause the cells in my heart dies a little each time that happens...

Better to stop thinking of that and think of the chocolate truffles, waiting for me in the fridge... 

That I bought for myself... for Valentine's Day... 

It was expensive... 

I'm romantic like that... 

 

The thing about being perpetually single like me is you don't realize stuff. Like Valentine's Day.

Nothing says hopeless loser than being on video call with your married siblings and your brother says his wife booked them a place for dinner tomorrow and you go, "ohhh whyyy what's the occasion? An Anniversary?" 

Like maybe the Anniversary of the first time you met or something. 

I seriously wonder... Do couples celebrate things like that? 

Like the first time you met, 

first date,

 

Oh man... I hope there never will come a time when I'm so smitten like this.

I should tell my family that if they ever see me act like this with a guy, just slap me. 

Use a broom if necessary. Anything. Just snap me out of it. 

 

first time you danced, 

first time you kissed (and didn't gag, ok maybe that's just me and my thoughts on what it would be like to kiss), 

first time you said I Love You, 

first time you saw the other person without clothes on and didn't die of embarrassment or poked your eyes out (again... just me), 

first time getting drunk together cause that would be fun, right? (Hey. I'm not a quiet, pink-loving, Chardonnay-sipping girl... I'm a bourbon-whiskey kind of girl)...

first movie night, first time you cooked for each other... first quarrel... 

first time you ate pizza together (now this is what I would like to do... what date??? Heck noooo... eat pizza... preferably alone so I could have the last slice), 

first time you traveled together... 

Maybe??? Ok... I really don't know what couples do... or what they celebrate... 

I actually don't really know much about love and relationships... Like what constitutes a relationship.... Sometimes I wonder how do people know how to behave in a relationship...    

How do you let someone know you are into them? What shows that you mean the world to someone? 

When you're added to the family group chat? 

I mean if I had a special someone in my life, adding that person to my family group chat would indicate that the person means something to me... 

Cause we do talk a lot of personal things in that chat.. A lot of family secrets... The Secret to the Elixir of Life... Where we keep the dragons... Where we burried the pot of gold... Clue : Not at the end of the rainbow...

So you being privy to that info would mean you're special and part of the family...

Kidding... We don't have any pots of gold... Our secrets are just a lot of TMIs... Also my uncle, whom we all love because of his wonderful sense of humor... but occasionally makes jokes that only someone fully into you could accept...

I do know one thing about relationships though... If you are visiting your in-laws for the first time, you bring a box of Ferrero Rocher for your mother-in-law... because that is what I've been taught in the advertisement that pops up on YouTube in the middle of my workout routine...

You visit your in-laws, you bring that box of Rocher... cause then your mother-in-law will hug you... bless your union... and you live happily ever after... 

So that's the advice I give my newly dating colleague visiting her boyfriend's family for the first time, "Don't forget the Ferrero Rocher!".... 

Ferrero Rocher... The way to a mother in law's heart... Or so the video says...

Unless she has low tolerance for sugar, then you're screwed...   

Also my colleagues probably think I'm nuts... Like the nut in a Ferrero Rocher...

 

What every mother in law would say when they get their box of Rocher...

Any guy who buys chocolates for you is definitely a keeper...

 

P.S. Nope this is not a sponsored post. Nobody paid me to say these things... Although I wish they would pay me cause extra money would be nice...

Question. Why are there so many food related advertisements on workout videos?

Like people trying to lose weight here. 

I don't want to see chocolates and pizza. Now I crave one while doing my workouts. Then end up eating it post workout.

 

My look of guilt eating... 

Then if you're dating a workout guy.. You know it's serious when he leaves his dumbbells at your place ... Others leave their toothbrush.... His would be dumbbells... Nothing says romance and commitment than a set of dumbbells.... 

Which will also have the added benefit... of you being able to throw the dumbbells at him if he cheats on you... cause throwing his clothes out won't be as fun... or painful... 

Unless the clothes are really expensive... and seeing them in the gutter would probably be painful... But still dumbbells to his head and his cheating organ would be fun... Noh???

 

Hmmm Tyler, why do you look like you want to throw your dumbbells at me?

 

Is there a rule-book? 

Like the Employee Handbook you get when you first join a company... Why don't they have a Lovers Handbook so people would know what to do in a relationship. 

Cause the whole prospect of dating is as scary as going through a haunted ghost house. 

Why would anyone want to go through a haunted ghost house, because you come out of it, with nothing. No benefits at all, other than your pulse going haywire, and your heart in pain. 

Anyway. Really thought it was an Anniversary or something... 

And my sister and brother looked at each other, with their, 'we feel so sorry for our perpetually single, oldest sister who thinks Love & Romance & Dating is watching Netflix while eating Ice-Cream', and said with a sheepish look, "It's Valentine's day". 

I went, "Ohhh... didn't realize"... 

But I guess they felt sorry for me, cause on Valentine's Day, my mom and I had free meal deliveries; brunch from my sister, and dinner from my brother.

They probably would have sent flowers and chocolates too, but since they had already done that a few weeks earlier, for my birthday, I guess they decided to go with food instead.

Which is a far better choice... Cause food will always be the best gift ever!

Hey. They didn't need to feel sorry for me... 

I'm happy being single... and glad to have a family who loves and cares for me... although I'm a little kooky... 

Which was how I was feeling about Valentine's Day, like really cool about it, until I went to work the next day, and my colleague was saying something along the lines of how terrible it must be for single people spending Valentine's Day... How lonely... How boring... Nothing to look forward too... 

Hey... Some people are actually happy being single. Don't feel sorry for us. 

Go feel sorry for your poor plant that's dying cause nobody's watering it. 

Did that plant ask to be stuck in a pot in a dreary office because people think having plants on their desk at work is cool but nobody takes care of it and it dies. Lonely. Unloved.

So don't feel sorry for me, my dear colleague. My life is great. Your potted plant. Not so much.

Ok... Maybe this happened to me... A colleague got me a plant as a gift from her travels... Like why did she do that.... 

Chocolates. Just get me a box of chocolates... Especially the shells one... I don't care if they're fattening and not good for me... I want them... I don't want a plant... 

What am I going to do with a plant... I can't eat a plant... I mean I know they're good for the planet, and oxygen and stuff... I did study Science in school... Vaguely... And I do appreciate the thought... Thanks for thinking of me... I'm so touched.

I know you wanted to get us something different... It's a unique souvenir... But I don't do “taking care of things” which is why I don't want a relationship... 

So the plant died... The “plant-gifter” frowned... I felt bad I killed a plant... 

Now punishing myself by staring at my dead, withering plant.... Every.... DAY... at work... A small flower pot of withered plant...

Sorry Groot... I ain't no Thor. 

I don't keep plants... I kill them... 

 

Being single doesn’t always mean lonely, and being in a relationship doesn't always mean happy.

I've had people tell me, "lose a little weight and you can find a guy too". 

 

My response exactly, Arthur Pendragon? While I slap them in my head.

 

Look... I'm not that desperate for a guy in my life.

This weight loss journey thing I'm on is because I want to be healthy, not because I want a guy.  

If only people realize that I have not met any guy that I want to sacrifice my time with... 

Time that can be spent doing more important things like going on a marathon... 

"I just felt like running" ~ is not something I would ever say. 

 

On Netflix I mean... not really a marathon... where you have to run... in the sun... and sweat... and wear tracksuits or sweat pants...

Who do you think I am... Sporty Spice? Not like I have anything against spices... I'm Indian; we love our spices. 

If I was a spice, I would be that weird spice that lies in my mom's spice rack, that I didn't know what it was, but thought it was a spice people used in their curry, so I added it to my cooking and everyone choked on their food. 

So my spice knowledge is low... Sports isn't really my thing either... 

Also, I don't want a guy. The only crush I have is on cheese. 

Cheese is sexy... especially when it's on fries... or pizza...  

I love cheese and I want to marry him... ok maybe not marry... I have commitment issues.    

 

#FoodWisdomFromNannyFine

 

There's a saying from Lord Tennyson. 

Who is Tennyson, you may ask. 

He's like the boyband dude of old. Like he could have been in a boyband if he wanted to... He has the boyband hair... And spews out lyrical words... that rhymes... and sounds cool... only without the singing... and the synchronized dancing...

 

 "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson 

What is it with people those days and their "tis"es.  

Ok. Fine.. Yes... I do enjoy reading books that has old English. Like the Regency World books from Georgette Heyer. 

The downside of this is that sometimes I write to people,

 

tis a beautiful day, but alas 

“I have a stomach, and it cries aloud for sustenance” *.

*Quote from Powder and Patch, Georgette Heyer.

 

Pray tell... Shall we partake of a light repast? 

What say you? 

 And they write back to me : 

Sigh... 

People just don't get me sometimes. 

So although Tennyson may be of the opinion that it's better to have been in a relationship and have your heart crushed, beaten and broken, than never to have loved at all. 

I'm of the opinion, what is wrong with you, dude. 

Why go through all that heartache. 

Mine is more along the lines of, "it is better not to have loved at all, than to suffer with loss". 

I enjoy being single and relish the thought that I have never loved anyone or even had a crush on any person I have met before...

Cause I know I won't be able to do heartbreak.

Actually I've never really had a full-blown celebrity crush until now.

Why did I ever watch Teen Wolf, I sometimes wonder. 

I wish I've never heard of Tyler Hoechlin... 

Having a celebrity crush is exhausting.  

Yes Jon Snow... I don't want it too... Don't want the Iron Throne... Or a boyfriend... Especially one who stabs you in the back in front of your dragon...  

I don't even want a crush... I wish I was over my celebrity crush...   

I want to move on to having a crush on my newly discovered guilty pleasure, Bounty Chocolate Bars. It has coconuts in it. Chocolate and coconut; what else could be more perfect...

I Googled Bounty Chocolate just to make sure I got the spelling correct and guess what... discovered it has been voted the least favorite chocolate... 

Least favorite... Really, people, really! Have your taste buds gone missing...   

Who did the research? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? The Tooth Fairy?

Well they're wrong! It's amazingly delicious... And healthy... with coconuts being a fruit and all... 

Coconut; a fruit you may ask... Yeah... Because it's round... Anything round is a fruit...

Just like anything green is a vegetable. Which is why I love my Pistachio Almond flavored ice-cream from Baskin-Robbins. It's green. It's a vegetable. 

But the eating green stops at eating mint ice-cream... cause no matter how much I love ice-cream... I ain't eating anything that tastes like my toothpaste... 

I don't even like the taste of my toothpaste... which is why I don't brush my teeth... 

I'm kidding!

Yeahhhh so I just want food... I don't want love and romance... 

Cause I'm an emotional mess most of the time.... 

I get teary-eyed watching touching videos on social media about people doing good deeds to those in need... those going through hardships... or how one small act of kindness could mean the world to someone.... 

Or when I read inspiring tales of hardship and success that comes from it... I don't know if they're true cause who can believe the internet nowadays but still cry in case they're true...

I read the emotional passage in a book, or the struggles and the things that the character is going through... And I cry.... 

I feel you, Kit Harington... Words hurt...

So if you see an orc-like woman at a cafe or airport, in a plane or the doctor's, shedding tears over the pages of her book... Probably me. 

Heck... I cry looking at the salad I'm having for lunch.... cursing my weight loss goals... wishing the salad could magically turn into a slice of pizza... wondering how vegans are surviving without meat (I salute your willpower)... 

Thinking of the lettuce I fed my brother's hamster when my brother was a kid... Is this punishment for not giving it something more appetizing... Sorry hamster, Google wasn't a thing back then so I couldn't find out if you ate other food...

 

Me eating my "healthy" food..

 

I cried over my car when I traded it off to buy a new car... Cause of the memories associated with that old car...

I get choked up listening to sentimental songs that talk about love, loss and heartache even if I've never experienced it before and don't know what it's like...

I cry shamelessly watching touching scenes in movies and TV series... Even animated movies... Especially Pixar movies... Like watching the scene from Up had me bawling...

I cried for Dumbo... Yes, a CGI elephant... I cried for a CGI animal... 

 

Yup... Cried... Wouldn't you, too??? 😢

 

I cry watching Grey's Anatomy.... I sobbed through the entirety of The Pursuit of Happyness... I cried for Groot when he did his heroic thing...  

I cried saying goodbye to the Winchester Brothers, and their angel... and half-angel... Hey, can't help it if I wanted my Wayward Sons to carry on.... here on Earth... not Heaven... 

Even until now, I still get a lump in my throat when I hear the moving, haunting female version of 'Carry On Wayward Son'.    

I cried for for Derek Hale on Teen Wolf when Boyd died.... and nearly had an emotional breakdown when I thought Derek Hale was losing his powers.  

Screaming, "Nooooo Not Derek" at the TV, is definitely not one of my finest moments... Cause it made my mom rush over with worry thinking I had gotten some bad news... like my favorite flavor of ice-cream being discontinued... which actually did happen once... 

Yeah.. My mom is used to me getting emotionally invested in the books I read and films I watch... and having breakdowns over food...

Sometimes I wonder if my mom wishes she could return me to the stork that brought me to her... Return to sender due to faulty manufacturing...  

Like thank you for this child but she's a bit weird... and annoying... so could you take her back... You can keep the refund...

So yeah... I cry... a lot... It's like I have a hyperactive crying duct... like the crying glands are extra heightened... Simple things touch me... 

I can even get emotional singing songs of worship at church.... Whether it's "Shout To the Lord" or "Here I am Lord".... I sing the words, and I become a choked up mess... 

I once did the reading for a prayer group... got emotional... and struggled just to finish...

Maybe because I feel the words... affected by it... could relate with the meaning behind the words and the poignant advice... 

Thankful for the answered prayers... the unexpected blessings... the small miracles... and also the worry I'm not doing enough... Not being all I'm supposed to be... 

No matter the reason... cheesy as they may be.... I just feel the songs...

Then Lent comes along, with the bigger emotional impact... leaving me crying at every Stations of the Cross...  

All it takes is the opening lines of God of Mercy and Compassion... and I'll be struggling to hold back tears... I can't even get through the words in the reflections...

It's not like I'm super religious... Or overtly so...  I'm not the spread the word type.... Not the type who constantly talks about the bible or quote psalms... Who constantly mentions God in every conversation.... Or who constantly sends Bible verses to people or posts them in social media... 

I do occasionally... but only when it's something really meaningful... with the hope that I can give inspiration or encouragement to those who need it...

I make mistakes.... and do sinful stuff... like looking at Tyler Hoechlin gifs... occasionally even the shirtless ones... but I do feel really really guilty about it...

What I am is the quietly pray type.... Pray in the morning and before I sleep... and offer comfort of prayers when needed... I also never miss weekly mass...

I guess this crying thing started young... 

My mom used to say, that when I was a baby... like a few months old... I used to cry whenever she sang “My Bonnie lies over the ocean” to me... 

Maybe it's the loss... the poor Bonnie lying over the ocean and can't come back... Who knows... 

Who can tell what went on in my kid head... 

I can't even tell what goes on in my adult head...

 

So imagine me going through a break-up... I would be an emotional wreck.  

So no... No kissing frogs, hoping it will turn into prince charming...  

The thought of even touching frogs when I had to dissect them in school was enough to get me to pretend to be sick so I could get out of going to school... which didn't work... The problem of having a teacher for a mom... 

Also I'm not really good at the fake-sick acting thing... 

What my mom told me.... Probably why I had full attendance when I left school...

 

So anyway definitely not kissing frogs... It's unhygienic and gross....  

And when I say unhygienic and gross, no I'm not talking about the frogs... I'm talking about the whole kissing act.

I'm like the awful person who doesn't like anyone even kissing me on the cheeks... Even kids... I wait for them to turn away so I could wipe off my cheeks... 

What!!! I don't wipe my cheeks in front of them.... Of course not... I'm not a monster.   

I don't even like people hugging me... I stand stiffly while people put their arms around me... 

Over the years, I've tried to at least let my arm come around but it's still very awkward... and stiff.... I'm like an awkward, stiff person...

Sometimes I wonder... Do I need to get myself checked... for being the way I am... 

 

Ummmm... Yeahhh... No, froggie... Sorry... It's not you, it's me...

I'm happy being single and grateful that unlike other Indian families, my parents have never tried to get me married, or made me feel that there was something wrong with me because I liked being single.

My family generally have been very supportive of me being married to my TV. They're cool like that. 

Having a boyfriend is tough, people. There are things you have to do... which I don't find fun at all... 

So let me list out the many benefits of being perpetually single...

Silently screaming

 

Is that your, “I'm pretending to listen but I seriously don't care” look, Tyler?

Then again, can't really blame you... 

 

1) Avoiding muscle problems

Things you can avoid when you're not in love or in a relationship – hand strain from talking on the phone all the time. Cause talking on the phone, is truly a test of your muscle strength.  

When on video calls with my siblings, my brother complains that he can only see the wall or the ceiling and not my face... 

I said yeah... cause my hand aches holding the phone... so I leave it on my lap... and it points to the wall or the ceiling... Hey, I can't help it if my phone has bad navigation skills. It's a little like its owner.

Most of the time I'm so tired after work, that all I want to do when I get back home is bathe... have my dinner... rest... watch some show on TV... No talking... No thinking...

Which is why I hate socializing and going to parties... or just generally going out... I'm anti-social... I just don't want to talk.... I'm too lazy to talk... like you have to open and close your mouth to talk... and use your brain...

I'd rather put my brain to rest when I come home from work... Like leave it in my cupboard together with my work things.

And this coming from someone like me, who can ramble on incessantly for hours, without running out of things to say, especially here in this blog, so when I say I don't feel like talking... I really mean NOT talking...

 

Yeah. I do annoy people with the things I say... I'm sorry...

I'm also not the spontaneous talking during social gatherings type of person. 

Most of the time, I struggle to come up with something witty or funny.... Actually to come up with anything... Like talk about the weather... The food... But all I get is nothing...  

I'm also worried I might unintentionally  say something that ends up hurting people... So I keep quiet... 

And stare around and grin awkwardly... People think I'm snobbish. Or weird. Or stoned. No. I'm not. I just don't know what to say...

And when I do think of something... it's after the person has walked away... or on my drive back home... Then kick myself for not thinking of it earlier...  

Or when I do talk, I say something stupid and people look at me like I'm something some civilization from a galaxy far, far away dropped off here on this planet to get rid of me... Maybe cause I drove them mad on that planet too...

Most of the time I don't get what people are talking about either... My current affairs knowledge is slightly limited... 

Hence, the standing around grinning awkwardly.... Or laughing awkwardly... I'm just an awkward person in general...    

I'm the type of person who would make Marty McFly's father look cool...

So imagine being on a date and trying to think of things to talk about... 

My date would strangle himself with the spaghetti just to end his misery.

My family members sometimes video call at night, after work, and I'm struggling to not fall asleep... cause that would be rude... and I'm not a bad person.. seriously I'm not... 

I do like that even though my younger sister and brother are now married, they still call me randomly after work, just to talk... sometimes because they had a rough day... or need to clear their mind... or vent... 

I'm touched that they thought of me... and I try to give them words of comfort as much as I can... Not always successful at that though... Talking isn't really my strength...    

Or that my siblings do video calls with my mom and I, almost every day, just to make sure everything is ok... Or my uncle, aunt and cousin sometimes call us to chat...

Which is nice. But mostly they do the talking. I just listen.... and continue to eat.

Ok I'm a horrible person. I don't know why they call me... Ok maybe they call for my mom... To keep in touch with her and probably has nothing to do with me... Ok now I'm depressed...

So imagine having a boyfriend and entertaining his daily hour-long calls... then going out with him... and eating... and talking... I would like to think that I would enjoy it, but I'm pretty sure I would rather sleep...   

I see people on the phone with their better halves, and I think man... what do they talk about for hours...

“You look so cute... No.. You look cute... No... You... You look cute... No... You... You look cute”

Is this typical lovers conversation cause if it is, I would rather eat my phone.   

But hey, who am I to judge. I'm the type of girl who thinks sexy is the way Derek Hale communicates with just his eyebrows.

Hmmmm I wonder if there's anyone out there like me... who says they're glad they're single cause they're too lazy to talk on the phone...

2) Less Worries

As a perpetually single person, there are no worries of whether your boyfriend is cheating on you... 

Or why he's moody... Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Is he over me? Or worried about his favorite sports team? 

Yeah... Too much problems. 

I'd rather keep my worries to what I'm gonna watch on Netflix tonight. 

Cause I have a long list of films to watch, all added to my Netflix Watchlist, and the list has about 50 titles, so deciding which one I should go with first, now that's what I call a problem. 

I read a meme that says people spend 90% of their time looking for something to watch on Netflix rather than actually watching it... 

Me would be... Spend time looking for something to watch on Netflix, add all the shows I want to watch to my Watchlist... then go to sleep...

Really Meredith Grey? You shave your legs, sometimes? I don't have to shave at all. 

I don't have to worry about my breath... or teeth... like have a mint in my purse all the time... Or brush my teeth... Or go to the dentist... Cause no one is there to kiss me...

 I mean... That's the reason people brush their teeth, don't they? I assume to kiss? 

Which is why I don't brush my teeth... Although they're beginning to look like the teeth of those Gargoyles you see on top of some medieval buildings... 

 

Like I know these statues were technically and architecturally supposed to act as a waterspout... to help drain rainwater from the gutter or roof... instead of letting the water run down the sides of the wall and eroding them... While symbolically and superstitiously was supposed to ward off evil... 

(Yes this is me trying to sound knowledgeable... In all honesty, while looking for a photo of a Gargoyle, I came across this info, thought it was interesting and decided to share it here... Sometimes I forget I'm just writing a blog... not teaching a class)

But some of the gargoyles are so scary... Why couldn't they go with something cute... like a fairy or something... or a cute bunny... 

Like I don't mean to judge all gargoyles... I'm sorry if calling you ugly or scary is rude... I mean I'm sure you're beautiful in your way... I'm not insulting you...

Although now that I think of it... I'm beginning to resemble a gargoyle too.... And no this ain't no Shrek... 

I don't turn into a beautiful princess in the day.... or a model.... which apparently is what men go for... judging by what I see of most men... even the one I'm currently crushing on...

I mean turning into a model... or a princess... or even Shrek cause he did hook a princess... would help my dating life, I assume.... 

But then again, when you would rather stay at home, and be sinful by cheating on your diet... with a dessert... or a chocolate bar... or pizza... I guess the single life is a better choice...

 

When Tyler Hoechlin in gif form says words... 

that speaks to me on so many levels...

No need to worry about how my body looks cause the only one seeing me naked is my mirror... which explains all the cracks on my mirror.

That is why I don't really look into my mirror much... Trying to spare it from too much pain... I'm compassionate like that...

Cause Halloween Fright Night for my mirror is when I look into it.

So I would never do that to another person.... make his heart pop out of his mouth by seeing me naked....

Heck... I gave myself a scare when I looked at myself naked in the mirror the other day... Pretty sure my liver exchanged places with my pancreas... 

Really... It happened... My organs are badass and do whatever they please... 

People tell them that can't be done, they say, "watch me!"... I'm so proud of my organs... 

 

Wait... Did I do this to him? Sometimes my medical comprehension is way too advanced for even someone like Dr. Shaun Murphy... 

 

I also don't want to see anyone naked. 

I watch the censored version of shows and close my eyes during love scenes. It's like Ju-On for me... Cause seeing any part of the human anatomy is as scary as all those creepy kids in horror movies.

Heck, I don't even want to see my celebrity crush, Tyler Hoechlin, naked and I'm grateful that so far he hasn't done any nude scenes... Cause I could die... 

The shirtless scenes are already enough of a heart workout for me. 

Pretty sure I would not be able to handle more.

  

Anyway, if I wanted abs I will get a waffle, cause what are waffles but pancakes with abs.

Yes. I'm such a hopeless, sappy romantic, aren't I?

3) More Enjoyment of the Important Things in Life like Food

There's no cracking of your head thinking of romantic things to say. Because I think of food all the time, so my sexy talk will probably be along the lines of :

Guy : Let's have some pizza.

Me : I love it when you talk sexy to me.

 

Others have cute names for their special someone, like "Baby", "Honey"; mine will be, "You're my bueno.... My Kinder Bueno".... #WhenYouOnlyHaveChocolatesOnTheBrain 

"I want to sink my teeth into you, you sexy chocolate truffle"

"I want to run my finger down you and taste your frosting"
"You put the peri-peri in me"

"Look at you, turning me on with your cheesy ways"

"You're making me melt like cheese on pizza" 

"We go together like pizza and cheese"

As you can see I really suck at sexy talk... cause mostly I'm more into the food...

My sexy talk, or what you call the thing people do to show interest, flirting?, is the type that would give my date instant food poisoning... 

Food poisoning. Indigestion. And heart attack when he sees me naked... 

I would be a killer girlfriend... Get it... "Killer"... And not killer denoting excellent... But like literal kill... Cause I would kill him... 

 

 

Oh man... I guess I suck at writing too...

And no... All of the above were not meant as any double entendre. I really was talking about food. 

I think of food all the time. I think of food while on the way home from work. Like what should I have for dinner... What can I add to the.... salad??? Noooo. The pizza... Sometimes I conveniently forget that I'm on this weight loss journey. 

So it's kinda hard to think of love and romance, when you lust and drool over food more than you do men.

I also think all the holding hands thing is so uncomfortable. Like wouldn't your hands sweat and you have to match your steps with that person. 

I don't really like being touched by anyone... so holding hands... hugging... peck on the cheeks... It's like doing my tax returns... uncomfortable....  

I can't even have people put their hands on my shoulder... My brother and I were once talking with a friend... And my brother put his arm around my shoulder while we were conversing with that friend... 

And all I felt was the heavy weight of his arm on my shoulder... My hair got caught in his hand... and it was painful because the strand of hair was pulling from my head... 

So painful.. Uncomfortable... And during the entire conversation, all I was thinking of was how to politely move my shoulder and adjust his hand or remove it... 

 

What!!! Look... I know I'm horrible... 

 

I do love my brother and feel so blessed to have a brother who is all grown up but still so loving to his big sister... 

But if just a brotherly arm from the brother I love can get me all worked up, imagine a guy... a stranger... who probably would want to put his arm... and what nots on me... like ewwww... 

My cousin, who is more than 20-years younger than me, used to hold my hands when we walked... especially when we crossed the road... She was young then, about 8 or 10... I was this older sister looking out for this cute little girl I had to protect... So she held my hands to protect her while we crossed the street...

Yeahhh it was sweet... But I found it so uncomfortable... I suffer from bad skin allergies and find holding hands really uncomfortable.

 

What!!! It WAS uncomfortable.

Yeah I know I know... I'm a horrible person.

But it was also sweet. So I persevered... Cause of the love I had for my young cousin... I'm nothing if not willing to enter any battle. 

I'm like Jon Snow sometimes... I too say I don't want things... Like love... romance... and holdings hands... 

But when an army of men are coming towards me, I pull out my sword ready for battle... In my case, the battle of holding hands...  

My cousin is 18 now, and still holds my hand.... but mostly to guide me so I would not stumble as I walk... 

Wait... does she now think of me as an aging woman, who needs help crossing the street... 

Great! I've gone from being the cool big sister to being the granny.

4) No Need to Share

i) No need to share food...

Another drawback to having a boyfriend is you have to share things. Like food. 

I don't want to share my food... I want to have that chocolate all to myself... Enjoy it on my own... just my mouth and I....

I don't want to worry whether he has eaten... The only thing I want to think about is my stomach.

Maybe I'm a gastronomical hog. I'm sorry. I never claimed to be perfect. When it comes to food, I prefer to enjoy its many pleasures alone.

So I guess I would know when I've found the one, when I'm willing to share my ice-cream with him... 

Cause when I'm with my family, my mom, siblings, and my mom's youngest brother and his family, I willingly sacrifice my stomach... leaving the food for them if it's something nice, so they could enjoy it... 

So I'm not a total monster... I do share my food with those I love... 

Also, I'm a messy eater... I eat like a dog... Not the Lady dog... but the Tramp dog... 

More food tends to end up on my face and shirt, than in my mouth... When it comes to eating... a three-year-old eats better than me...   

Like I can't even eat a wrap properly... Everything falls out of it and I'm stuck eating the bread alone... Then eating the droppings... hmmm I meant the fillings that dropped out.... 

That's how bad I am... I can't even eat a wrap... Which is why I don't eat a wrap in public... or if I must eat it in public, I usually use a fork and spoon.. 

People say, “why are you eating that burger like you're in polite company”... I'm like, “seriously pal, more of these things are going to drop on my lap instead of into my mouth”...

The reason why I always like to wear black... to cover the stains of the food... and drink... or anything else I could spill on my clothes...

I also eat too fast... I literally gorge on my food.... as if the food is going to disappear.... as if zombies are after me... and I need to finish eating fast... before they eat my food... or eat me...

I can't help it. I try to practice slowing down when I eat... But I can't... I'm an obnoxious eater... 

Which is why I prefer to eat alone... I don't want someone else's indigestion.... on my conscience...

ii) No need to share a bed... 

I've been sleeping alone for many years now, and have never wanted anyone sleeping next to me. Not even a puppy. Yes. I know I'm horrible. 

What can I say, I'm not really the sharing kind.

During family trips, before my sister was married, I used to share a hotel room with my sister. So during check-ins, the first thing I ask for is a room with two single beds. I usually put that down when I make the hotel reservation, TWO SINGLE BEDS. 

And the moment the hotel receptionist says, that they only have the room with the queen-size bed available, I stare at them in horror like when the waiter in Nando's says, "we've run out of the caramel cheesecake". 

Hey Nando's, I know your PERi-PERi is great and all, but I'm there for the cheesecake. Don't crush my heart like you did when you took the red skin mashed potatoes off the menu.  

So anyway. Me in a hotel, in panic mode. No 2 SINGLE BEDS!

Whatchu talkin' about, women... I need a bed TO MYSELF... And putting the word "queen" in front of the word "bed" is not making this better... 

So anyway... I cry.... They cry... The boss comes... The people behind me in line at the front desk, mentally stab me with their pen... 

A kid threw a tantrum... Ok... Maybe that was just me... 

My family was embarrassed... and trying to pretend I wasn't related to them... I wonder if they sometimes wish they REALLY weren't related to me... 

Probably what the hotel receptionist wished she could do to my head...

 

The hotel receptionist probably put a little note next to my name.... like you do to warn about hazardous materials...

Warning... This guest... A hazard to your sanity... May cause extreme pulling of your hair.... Proceed with caution... 💀

Having a meltdown over hotel beds... That's not exactly normal behavior, is it?

 

The look the hotel receptionist had too...

Yeahhh I'm like the hotel guests every hotel employee hates... Sorry hotel people. But I really don't like anyone sleeping next to me.   

I like having the bed all to myself. I can roll around as I wish. Nobody's hogging the covers... 

I don't have to worry about scaring anyone because when I sleep, I look like a creature that has just crawled out of some swamp... It's like I have some Middle Earth battle going on every night when I sleep.... perhaps in my dreams?

Cause I wake up to pillows thrown across the room. 

My blanket having me in a chokehold. And no, I'm not talking about that sexy Adam Lambert song, Chokehold.

There's even some undressing going on while I sleep... 

Keep the shock to yourself, Tyler... I'm not talking about you... 

I'm talking about my pillows... Cause I wake up to my pillow naked with the pillowcase at the corner of my bed... And I wonder, how did my pillowcase get removed while I slept...  

I wish my pillows would stop embarrassing me like this... Don't want my mattress to get the wrong impression... 

There's also the bed sheets being pulled off. Which is one of my pet peeves; sleeping with bed sheets coming off the bed...  

 

My hair looks like it has just gone through a hurricane. 

What am I doing when I sleep? Training for American Ninja Warriors? Hunger Games? Battle of Minas Tirith? Or Winterfell?

And when the alarm rings, I spring up like an assassin ready for battle. Like who's attacking me? My alarm clock?

 

Man... The dreams I must be having... People dream of handsome men... I dream battle sequence... 

When you talk about a gorgeous crush, celebrity or otherwise, people say “in your dreams”... 

My crush doesn't even come in my dreams... Like not even a peep... 

All I dream is work work and more work... work not finished... how to do the work... I dream of reports... and deadline...

5) Economical Advantages

You get to save money. No need for expensive gifts to show how much you love that person. Especially on Valentine's Day when everything cost so much.

No spending money on lotions or removing hair from your body. Which is also painful. 

Do I look like a hairy ape. Yeahhhhh... Do I care??? No of course not. I sleep with my teddy, he's pretty understanding. 

Ok... Maybe I don't really sleep with a teddy bear. I have commitment issues. 

Sleeping with someone even if that someone is a teddy bear, is an act of trust and commitment... Or it is for me... 

I need to be really sure, that person is the one... Since I have trouble committing even to a stuffed doll, definitely ain't happening to a person.     

Also doesn't help that I'm a worrier. Like what if the teddy bear doesn't like me, or thinks I sleep weird, or my face looks funny when I sleep... or I drool. 

 

What if I snore. What if I cause injuries in bed like my leg hitting his nose or my fist giving him a black eye... Awkward.

Hey, I have no control of my limbs when I sleep. It could happen.

Which is why I prefer sleeping alone.  

No need to buy expensive undergarments that are supposed to be sexy but look darn uncomfortable. I can live happily with my granny panties... 

A question : why do they call them granny panties... that's so rude... Hey there are women in their 80s still rocking it... with much younger men... Wearing something like those from that secrets lady... Victoria...

They're probably not wearing boring underwear like me. 

I wear the 3Cs of Underwear. 

Cotton. Chocolate brown. Comfy.  

So give them grannies a little credit. They rock!

Also.. Sorry for the TMI...  

Then there's the headache of thinking what to buy for your significant other... What if he doesn't like it... What if he finds it too cheap... What if it isn't romantic... What if he gets offended by the gift... What if he hates it... 

Like I could bake him things.. cookies and cupcakes... I might burn them... but when it's baked with love... I guess he wouldn't mind?

Or cook for him... It could be considered romantic... but then again he could also get food poisoning... 

Or die... 

Hey “people” say my cooking is good... And yes... that “people” is usually me...

Or I could knit him something... white cardigans... (cause I love men in white cardigans)... that say, “He belongs to me” in big letters.... With a knife at the bottom.... 

Or something romantic like "I love you"... but he may be too embarrassed to leave the house with the bundle of mess I knit for him...

Or choke himself to death..

Then again, I probably won't knit... cause I hate sewing... my fingers hurt... and I hate threadling the needle... 

What I don't understand is why the eye of the needle has to be so small... Couldn't they make it bigger to make it easier for the thread to go in... Selfish much...

Anyway I don't have the cash to buy expensive gifts... I know my friends say that it's a give and take... He buys you something expensive... You buy something in return... 

But honestly, if I want something expensive... like a bag, perfume or something... I could just get it myself... Why do I need a boyfriend for that?

6) No Doing Weird Couply Things in the Name of Love

People do a lot of things that I don't understand, in the name of love.

They call it romance... I call it... yeah... I don't know what to call it... Most of the time, I just don't get it...  

There's the thing couples do... That I would probably hate doing.. Selfies... Cause I hate taking photos.... 

Most of the time, I stand stiffly with what I hope is a smile... but while everyone has a happy look... I look somber enough that I look like I've just seen a ghost.... and the camera probably feels it has seen a ghost with my face in its frame...

I'm sorry... That's my happy face... I really am trying to do this smiling thing... I am a happy person... But my happy face looks glum..

 

Unfortunately I don't do the brooding, hot look... 

that Tyler Hoechlin perfected as Derek Hale...

 

Then there's the feeding. Couples feeding each other. Is that supposed to be romantic? Isn't it like perhaps uncomfortable?  

I don't want anyone feeding me. They might feed me too slow. Or too fast. I may still be munching...  

Like there's the sharing of a bowl of ice-cream with your lover... Why would anyone want to do that? What if he takes more than his share... Then there won't be enough for me...

 

Hey. Say what you want, Sam Winchester. But it's ice-cream and I'm not sharing.

Cause normally I'm like Liam Neeson from Taken when it comes to food.... I have a particular set of skills... You steal my cheesecake, I'll hunt you... I'll find you... And I'll stab you with my fork...  

Look.. I know couples are supposed to do romantic things like share plates of meal... Like you see in the Lady and the Tramp... I mean if two dogs can be all romantic... Why not humans... 

But honestly... When I see Valentine's Day set meals... and it states... 1pax - Waffles with ice-cream... I do tend to object that the dessert is just for one... even though all the rest comes in twos... Starter 2... Main course 2... Dessert 1... Like what the cupid!

You come near my ice-cream, I'm gonna stab you with my fork...

No matter how much my colleagues tell me, “romantic mah”... 

Fun Fact : We Malaysians use a lot of interjections to end our sentences... like "la"... "meh"... "ma"... Why? Cause we're awesome...

Ok maybe this fact was not so fun...  

My colleagues do think I'm weird for having stabbing tendencies over ice-cream...  

But then when I try to be romantic and tell my colleague, who goes out with her boyfriend for lunch every Wednesday since it's his off day... to run to him down the stairs.... like they do in rom-coms... the rushing through the airport... 

I get the look that says, “I wish I could stick your face into the toilet... why don't you change departments”....

So I'm guessing that's not romantic? 

I guess I don't have any romance in my blood at all... I probably need a transfusion or something... Romance transfusion... The booster dose version... 

So how do I know that it is #TrueLove? 

with hashtag and all... 

When I leave the last slice or bite of cheesecake for that person. When I'm willing to share that cheesecake. 

Since so far I haven't met anyone, other than my family members, that I would willingly sacrifice that last slice of cheesecake for, I think I'll stick to being single.

    

Awwww Tyler Hoechlin... I'll happily share my doritos with you too...

I don't want to feed others too. Like I'm clumsy. My hand-eye-mouth coordination sucks. 

Like my aim is that bad... I'm not kidding... I can't hit things... Like no dart is hitting the board... It's gonna hit the person next to it... 

If I were to play any sports that involves hitting things, like baseball, tennis or golf... Not only will I be hitting one strike after another... I may end up hitting myself... 

I can't even throw things... Like people say to me, “throw the remote”... I throw it and it lands on the floor...

 

I'm no Tyler Hoechlin... swinging his bat... and making it win...

So imagine doing the feeding thing couples do... like you see on TV shows and movies...

I could hit my boyfriend's nose instead of his mouth... There could be pie on his nose. 

I could also injure him... I might hit him in the eye with the spoon... 

I might pierce his nostrils with the fork... 

He could have fork stuck to his nose... and I might laugh and call him fork nose... and he'll get angry... and stomp out of the house...

No guy would want a girlfriend who could potentially injure you... or laugh at you... 

😩

 

Getting something into someone's mouth accurately is tough, people. 

Once I was drinking water from a water bottle... and the water entered my nostrils instead of my mouth... Not kidding... I literally poured water into my nose... 

So yeah my aim is so bad that I can't even drink water... I can't aim the water to enter my mouth instead of my nose...

   

I don't have this kid's food-in-mouth ability...  

 

It's like kissing. You close your eyes when you kiss so how do people know where to aim... That it hits the lips... and not somewhere else... like his nose... 

Imagine if you end up kissing his nose... Wait... Do people do that??? Is kissing the nose a thing?

And also kissing looks really complicated... What if the teeth gets in the way... Or your teeth injures his lips... 

 

Man... This is awkward... and could literally happen to me... 

Now you see why I fear kissing... 

 

And how long are you supposed to hold the lips on lips pose... Like it looks really long in movies... Holding a position too long does lead to cramps, doesn't it?

When I do my workouts like crunches, curls, squats, lunges and attempts at planking... it hurts... your muscles burn... you feel like dying...

What if your face or your hand holding his face gets a muscle cramp... or muscle strain... lip cramp... What if you get bored... 

Or he gets bored... Or hates your breath... Or your lips... What if your lips are not smooth... but painful... like kissing gravel...

What if I get this reaction!

I don't even do hugs... I hug like I'm about to be strangled.... I stand awkwardly...

Like where do my hands go... Do I hold them back... Touch their shoulders... Tap them on their back... Around them?

What do I do with my hands!!!

It's stressful, people. 

I don't do well with stress!

 

Yes... These are seriously things I worry about. 

Which is why I can't do love and romance... I don't want to cause any poor soul who is unlucky enough to be with me permanent damage... 

Because anyone who has the privilege misfortune.... of knowing me is like being cursed by witches, the fairytale ones who curse you to live an eternity in misery... cause you stepped on their mushrooms or something.... 

Something along the lines of, “How dare you step on those mushrooms I painstakingly grew for my potions..... now I curse you to be with that woman, Crystal Bethany... who is going to annoy you with her annoying ways”...   

I haven't met anyone who has made me change my views on this matter either...

Sometimes I'm surprised with my lack of want of any man... even one that I'm currently crushing on... 

I probably need medication for my... lack-of-desires-for-love... affliction I may be infected with...  

It's like I'm a love and romance and everything gooey and icky phob... Cause I don't believe in relationships lasting... Sooner or later, things will turn sour... especially when you have the personality of a wet towel... like me...  

Cause from what I see from TV shows, movies and books, or even in real life, is that people take commitment so lightly...

They don't make the effort to make the relationship work... They cheat... They long for other people... They stop loving each other... I don't want that... 

Even when I was young I was led to believe a man will cheat... Like Jerrica's boyfriend cheating on her with her alter ego, Jem... Like her boyfriend technically cheated on HER with HER... 

Imagine finding out your boyfriend is cheating on you.... because he was hitting on you... when you didn't look like you... #ChildhoodTrauma right there... 

So it's better not to be in love... Not to be in a relationship... 

I don't want to be the type of couple, who bicker endlessly and complain about each other to everyone, yet still stay together... miserable... 

Cause for me, when you choose someone, if you're going to choose someone, you have to make sure that person is your one true love... the love of your life... the one you can't live without... 

I guess I want a love story... a relationship like Clois... With no cheating... No looking at other women/men... For me cheating is the ultimate betrayal.... 

Hey.... I don't even want to share my cheesecake with anyone... I'm not going to share my man... Like come on... 

Seriously, sometimes I don't know how people live with the guilt of cheating on the person they are supposed to love...

I feel guilty when I cheat on my diet... or when I see an actor on a show/movie and find him hot cause it's like cheating on my celebrity crush... 

 

Yeah Tyler, you're my only celebrity crush... I will be faithful... Only think of you all the time... Unless my mother bakes a cheesecake, then I might think of you less....

 

I feel guilty when I enjoy a meal a friend cooked cause it's like cheating on my mom's cooking... 

Or when I skip my daily prayer for my loved ones cause I'm too tired after work and a HIIT workout to say them... 

So yeah definitely not cheating.... or be able to handle anyone cheating on me either... 

So that's why... So far... for me... I find that life rocks when you're perpetually single... I love my life. 

Yes. Free. No worries. Happy.  

So Cupid, STAY AWAY FROM ME!

If you come near me, with your bows and arrows, I swear to you, I'll END YOU!

I'll rip your arrows out and break your bow... with my teeth... 

Drown you in that pool of torment and misery you put others through with your arrows.   

Just me... Issuing death threats to a mythical being.... A being with wings.... 

Probably written out there somewhere that issuing threats to beings with wings is not a wise move...

I guess that's what talking about love and romance does to you.

But then again Connie Francis did call Cupid, Stupid... and sang a whole song about how that Stupid Cupid picked on her...

Not very popular that Cupid...

Anyway, didn't mean to cause any offense talking about love and romance...

Sometimes my brain does its runaway bride thing... Like me, it has commitment issues.

So do the buying expensive gifts, feeding, hugging, kissing, shaving, sharing, or anything else you want.

I'm not dissing anything or anyone... I just have a wacky view of love and romance... it comes from being a little wacky myself... 

But hey... you do you... I do me... 

Is not that I'm totally against love and romance... 

Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to be held by someone... to be hugged in a romantic way... to lay my head on a guy's chest... and feel his heartbeat while he plays with my hair... 

See... I do know romance... Just haven't met anyone I would like to feel romantic with... and not feel like I need a shower just because he hugged me...

Which is exactly my reaction when people hug me now actually... 

My aunt, when the family comes for a visit, even goes, "Can I hug you... Have you had your shower? Will you shower again if I hug you?"...  

I guess after years of knowing me, my family members have memorized my weird quirks...

So maybe I do have intimacy issues... But I do think it would be nice to have someone in your life...  

Seeing all the “I love you” and “hugs and kisses” gifs online... maybe sometimes I do wish I had someone to send them to... 

Instead of sending those stickers and gifs to the photos of food shared by my family members and friends...

I have always tried to do my best for others... look after them and try to help as much as I can... 

So it would be nice to be prioritized for a change... To have someone look after me instead... To be my ear when I need to vent... To give me a hug and tell me everything will be ok... To just be my rock... 

But then again, I realize having these feelings can be seemed as being ungrateful... because I do have family members who do look out for me... 

So it's not fair for me to take their gestures of love for granted...

But yes... Maybe there are weak moments when I do think.... hmmm a boyfriend would be nice, noh? 

Like faithful Max... devoted... crazy in love with you... always there for you... and will sing “I'm gonna be (500 miles)” and mean every word... while he looks for a ride for you... 

Love the song... And anytime it has been used in a TV show... the few times I've seen it... whether on Grey's Anatomy or How I Met Your Mother... it has been nothing short of epic...

I also enjoy watching videos of outrageous proposals, like flash-mob proposals... or to see a guy singing to his girl... He doesn't even need to have a good voice.. it's the thought behind the gesture... 

I even enjoyed watching Tyler Hoechlin singing... for his date... Although it was a fake date and was just an act... for the Blind Date Project improv thing he did... 

But hey... any singing from my celebrity crush... I'm all for it...

For me... nothing says romantic more... than a guy putting his embarrassment aside... to surprise and make the woman he loves... smile... 

As long as they're doing it sincerely... and not just to go viral... cause sometimes I wonder... did they do it for love and romance... or for fame... 

I mean I can't really judge them for that... I'm sure everyone wants hits on their social media accounts... 

But I'm hoping they're also doing it for love...

Man... I'm so cynical sometimes when it comes to love... 

Like I would totally do it for a guy... because I love him... and not for the "hits" or "going viral" need... but since I could also cause mass choking and vomiting if I sing, the world should be grateful that I've never been in love...

So although I consider any public declaration of love, sweet and romantic, and not cheesy... But at the moment, I do get turned on by cheese more than I do men...

Also, right now, love is out of the question for me... 

I'm glad I've never been attracted to anyone... or had a guy show interest in me... Because I'm not in a position to be in a relationship right now... 

With my dad's passing, if I was not living with my mom, she would be living alone... And although, sometimes when I'm in one of those cranky, moody, grumpy, like Shrek-before-he-met-Fiona zone, my mom probably wishes I was not living with her... And maybe I too sometimes crave some alone time... 

But I could never let my mom live alone... Most days, she just waits for me to come home from work, so we could eat together... Even when I'm on the phone, or doing my workouts... I find her waiting for me... 

She's badass... And does all kinds of active, MacGyver, Rambo things... on her own... but for everyday things, she counts on me... Especially now with her cancer treatment and her memory not being as it used to be... So I guess I could never leave home... 

And honestly, I'm not complaining... I'm a pampered kid, who lives with her mom... So I have everything a child could want... And grateful, that I've never had to choose between a man and my mom...

But for those in happy relationships, I'm thrilled for you... 

May it continue to bring you endless joy.  

Kidding Kidding! I'm such a Valentine Scrooge. 

 

For those rocking the single life... like me... Cheers!

P.S You know you need to work on your writing when you have to write an apology like disclaimer for almost all your blog posts.