2) I wish everything was as easy as getting fat

#NoPainNoGain This is the tale of my weight loss struggles and my attempt at dieting, and doing a good, long workout to get the weight down... There's sweat... There's pain... And there's daydreaming of Tyler Hoechlin... "You're such an inspiration", said no one to me ever. 

So after writing my previous blog posts complaining about my weight and being hurt by the things people say to me, I decided to take control of my life. 

I decided to start my weight loss journey today. 

I'm all geared up. No more whining. No more complaining. I'm all action. 

Here's to the start of the BRAND NEW ME! I'm going to do it. I know I can. Going to achieve my goal.

 

Day 1

Here goes! I'm so excited... I can't wait to start losing weight....

So I start with a nice workout on my stationary bike... a healthy breakfast of oats... a light lunch... then an after-work workout session... salad for dinner..

 

The next morning, I get on the scales.

OH BOY! OH BOY! 

I can't wait to see my new weight. 

I must have lost a ton of weight..

I GAINED 3 kilos!

 

But I'm not giving up... It's only the first day... Maybe it hasn't started working yet... It takes time right?

So I continue my workout. 

 

Ok. Maybe my workout is not as great as Derek Hale's workout. 

But then again, there's nothing wrong with a little daydreaming during my workout, don't you think?

 

No, Derek Hale??? 

Alrighty then... My bad.. 

I thought you would be touched...

Yes... It takes very little to get me excited when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin...

 

I'll stop now...

Sorry where was I?  

(P.S. You know you've lost it, when you're having a conversation with a fictional character through gif)...  

 

I guess Tyler is resigned to my shenanigans...

 

So anyway... I workout a lot.. I also daydream while working out, but that's a story for another day. 

I eat healthy... I've ended my relationship with all my sinful guilty pleasures.... said my goodbyes to pizza, cheesecake and sexy bars of chocolate... Now I know why people say breaking up is hard to do...

Sometimes I wonder, why must everything that tastes good be bad for us? Just for once, I wish we could eat something delicious like a slice of pizza, a burger, or cake, or even fried chicken, and lose weight.    

Great! Now I've switched to daydreaming about food.

I'm doing such intense workouts that I have back pains due to "too much exercise", or so the doctor says, calling it muscle spasms. 

There's a slight ache at the side of my thighs like a muscle pull. 

I'm sore all over. 

I'm dehydrated. 

I'm tired. 

I'm hungry. So hungry...

But I don't give up. I work through the pain. I feel like such a badass!

 

After a few weeks, I weigh myself again. 

I have put on another 5 kilos.

Sigh... This losing weight thing isn't going to be easy, is it?

 

Mine too, Tyler... Mine too...

 

I think I'll have some ice-cream... There are no calories in ice-cream, right? 

It has almonds in it... Aren't almonds good for you? 

They're like considered vegetables or something? Aren't they?  

 

 

After a few months

So my weight loss quest is going well... Yes it has been a very difficult and long quest.... As big as the Odyssey or the tasks Hercules was put on. 

As I am not a Demi-God... the quest hasn't been easy... 

I also have a willpower problem.... cause I tell myself, I will eat something light for dinner, just a fruit... or a salad... 

Then I come home and my mom says she cooked this and that... and I open the covers and the food looks so good... and it smells so good too... So I eat... The meal is heavy.... but the taste makes it worthwhile... 

Hey, if I'm going to kill my diet, I'd rather do it with my mom's cooking...  

Anyway, who could ever resist their mom's cooking... right?

My siblings and I definitely can't either, Superman... 

(#ThoughtOfTheDay change one letter and food becomes good... no wonder food tastes so good)... 

I guess my lack of willpower also includes Tyler Hoechlin... I tell myself, don't google him.. Like move on.. He's young... Then the words type itself on Google... Like literally on its own... My fingers have a life of their own... Like they want to Google Tyler Hoechlin... I think my fingers are crushing on him...  

 Hmmm Like why.... Sigh....  

Sorry I got distracted.. Don't judge me... I'm hungry...

So ANYWAY...

I'm trying to eat healthy... I saw my colleague eating just an egg and a pita bread for lunch... No mayo... No sauce... No dressing... Nothing. 

And I'm like looking at her eating her food, thinking... talk about being strong.... This is perseverance for me... The ability to eat a salad without dressing... That takes guts and willpower.

 

If I tell my mom, let's have that for dinner, she would probably throw the plate at me... 

Once she asked me to have the cake she baked... for breakfast... She still doesn't get the concept when I tell her, "No ma, cake is not a good breakfast. No matter how tasty your cakes are, they still don't make a good breakfast". 

Then she looked so sad... liked I had just told her the opening lines of the Bohemian Rhapsody song... because saying no to the cake she baked the whole day yesterday, with sweat and toil... did sound to her like I had killed someone... 

So yes, I have cake for breakfast.... It was delicious... 

Cause she's an Indian mom... And Indian moms are all about the rice, and chicken masala... and fried cauliflower and broccoli... which are amazingly delicious... but perhaps not so healthy... 

Trying to change her though... I've gotten her to enjoy salads.. 

Although she does look at me with a frown, when I take the salad at the grocers.. and with horror... when I say, I could eat steamed broccoli... I really could.. I love broccoli... in every form... Grapes... Persimmon... I actually like a lot of things... 

 

This guy too...

 

My morning routine consists of waking up early.... Checking social media for posts on Tyler... or posts made by Tyler himself (which is mostly never).... 

Then dream a little, then wake up, do some reading, writing, dream a little bit more, then do my morning workout, before I get ready for work... 

Then do another round of workouts when I come home after work... 

 

I feel pumped. Energized. I can run up the stairs at work.. When previously I huffed and puffed up the stairs... with my knees shaking and heels crying out in pain... 

I'm so active at work... cause there's all this energy... I laugh excitedly... I talk a lot.. I'm like the Energizer bunny... Going on and on... bouncing from place to place...

That some of my colleagues say, “Where's your off button? Can we turn you off?”...

I go, “Where's your spirit... your zeal... the passion for life... Seize the day, my friends... Seize the day... Carpe Diem.... We need fire... We need rain... We need thunder and lightning... Thor Ragnarok...... WHAT SAY YOU!”... 

 

How I feel after a particularly difficult workout session.... 

And they give me the look that says, “We will thunder and lightning your head with Thor's hammer if you don't stop all your yakking right now”... 

They so don't get me, my colleagues... Granted I did try to stand on a chair when I was shouting the Carpe Diem thing like .... but it's like the corporate chair with wheels... so not a good idea... 

I may have broken that chair a little... I did hear a crack... Hope the crack wasn't from my body... 

So after all the toil and trouble... All the blood and sweat... The weight is finally going down...

 

My workouts didn't involve any ball and chain, if you're wondering... 

but it did include a lot of daydreaming about Tyler Hoechlin...

 

I notice that I lose about 1kg a week.. as I keep track of my weight loss.. 1kg a week sometimes 2 weeks depending on the food temptations I endure every day... When you live in Malaysia, which is known as a Food Paradise, it's hard to resist the temptation... 

So at this rate, I will probably reach my ideal weight when I'm 80... or dead.. Whichever comes first... 

Well... at least that's something to look forward to... you know being thin... but dead... 

There's always a catch... everyone needs to read the fine print...

 

 

P.S. I hope no one takes offense on some of the things I've written about being overweight. I'm not hating on anyone, just sharing a little of the struggle I'm going through to lose weight. Sorry if I offended anyone.