9) The Tale of Having a Meltdown over Tyler Hoechlin's Birthday Gift to his TV Wife

So it was Tyler Hoechlin's Superman & Lois co-star, Bitsie Tulloch's Birthday... He gave her a gift... I had a jealous meltdown...  

Beginning to realize, there's something wrong with me... Oh well... I've always been a little... unique? Is that the word? Or is it loony?

I am fully aware that this may be the most embarrassing post I've ever written.... The hope my family doesn't discover this blog kind of embarrassing... where I go on and on about my crush, Tyler Hoechlin...

I may have started small... like a trickle of words... then bricks got added... and now we may have The Wall... that only a White Walker dragon could bring down..

I do know that ramblings like these are embarrassing... because normal people don't just go around spewing love proclamations for a man and cheese all in the same blog post; it's tacky...

But that being said, am I going to make any changes to the blog and remove the embarrassing, cheesy prose?

Probably not... 

I like living life dangerously (or so I say... then I remember I'm the woman who runs screaming to her mom when she sees a bug... and no... not when I was a kid... this happened last week)...

 

So the man gives his brooding stare... and I stare it... engrossed...

What is it about Tyler Hoechlin's brooding look that leaves me in a puddle of melting ice-cream...   

For reasons I can't explain... this guy has been making me do things I don't normally do... 

Crazy things... Things like think of a man...

When food used to be the only thing on my mind... I would go to sleep dreaming of food...  

No creamy green eyes.... or sweet words... seduced me... 

No pickled pecs... salty abs... Or juicy smile kept me up all night, dreaming...

 

No man filled my thoughts... or made me sigh with longing...  

It was pizza that kept me up all night, filled with yearning...

P.S. Wow.. Almost a rhyme... My mom would have been proud... Nope.. I take that back.. Looking back at this post... Proud isn't exactly the adjective I would use to describe my mom's feelings if she ever read this blog...

Even if you're just a gif, I wished you didn't agree so happily with my mom's utter lack of pride in me, Tyler...

 

The only thing I used to want was food... never men...

Cakes... Pizza... Pies... Tacos.... 

Fun Fact : Just like a taco, I have fillings too.... of the fatty kind...

Wasn't that fact fun? You're welcome... 

I guess it wasn't a fun fact... 

I kinda feel the glaring look... perfected by Tyler Hoechlin is just right for when I go into my rambling...  can make people want to go into hibernation... prose...

I may need more of it as I continue to write this blog post.. 

Thanks, Tyler... 

And here I was, the type of person, who never liked any form of facial hair on men...

A clean-shaven guy is what I like to see...

I don't even like anything furry... I can't hold hamsters...  

A cat or dog brushes against me... and I need to bathe for seven years...

Till this fully bearded guy happened... 

And in other instances, I would be like "HAIR NO!" but for some crazy reason... I find all that beardyness sexy... 

He earns the distinction of being the only hairy guy I've ever liked...

Actually weirdest of all is me actually loving all that hair... the beard... the scruff... all that hair on his arm... even his hairy knuckles...

I hope to someday have an explanation for my fascination of all things Hoechlin... which hopefully leads to a cessation of the said fascination... 

The guy with the 'so-born-to-play-a-werewolf hairy, even his fingers are hairy', hands... 

I mean I assume that's how a werewolf's hand would be... long and hairy.... and so lovely... 

And yes I realize, attempting to make it rhyme does not make the above sentence less nauseating... 

Tyler agrees... Hence, let us shift our focus away from those hairy hands... and direct our attention to his chest, biceps and slender waist... 

That culminates in envy towards those lucky... 

say it with me... LUCKY  women of his, who have had the chance to fall into those arms... rest their heads on his chest... and hold onto his biceps...

A cuddle made in dreams.... 

I reiterate... and in caps... LUCKY...

Editor: Just a reminder that you are not a teenage novelist writing a teen novel… please act your age!

Me: I guess Sweet Valley High will be proud.

Editor: Nope…

 

Ughhh! I hate this! You’re so annoying, Editor!

 

I remember once, one of the Superman and Lois cast member shared a photo and only his arm was visible... but most of the fandom could recognize that it was him with just that arm... 

Nobody had to tag him in that photo... We just knew... Just like that... That arm belongs to Tyler Hoechlin.... 

The cap probably helped too... 

Poor guy uses the cap to hide his face when he wants to have a good time without fans finding out he's in a particular place... but not realizing that the cap is a dead giveaway... 

 

We know, Tyler! We know...

It's also how we figure out it's you... 

 

What I admire about Tyler Hoechlin's fans is that they can find him in the background of random videos posted by others even when he's not tagged... 

They can recognize him when he's at a distance or partially seen...

While I can't even find myself in my old school group photos... I see a sea of faces in the same blue uniform... that all Malaysian students wear... and can't recognize my own face...

Actually it's not only Tyler's arm that we recognize... 

It's also his voice... his laughter... his peace sign... 

No matter how much he tries to hide in the background of the video... out of the frame of the camera... we hear the sultry sound of his voice... yes sultry is the word I'm going with... and we immediately know it's him... 

The power of the "Hoech" effect... 

Yeah I don't know what this means, but I have seen it used a lot by his fans...  

So I've decided to hop on the "Hoech" bandwagon and use the word too... 

Hopefully this will finally make me a full-fledged member of his Phi Beta Gamma Cuppa Mai Tai Club...

Cause seriously... who doesn't like a cocktail now and then...

 

If you're wondering why I sound like a whining mess... trust me, it's only gonna get worse... 

Which isn't exactly what one is supposed to write when starting a blog post... like not a good recommendation to get people to continue reading the said blog post... 

But I'm all about honesty and transparency... 

Also I gave up on shame a long time ago... Cause C'est la vie... That's life... 

Brilliant I am, I know! Merci beaucoup...

And yes... I'm just trying to show off with a little French parlé... because the man pictured above loves all things French... 

But then maybe my smart gene was on sick leave because I thought it was spelt ses la vie.. or say la v... seras vie... and had to Google the correct spelling... 

But hey at least I got the pronunciation correct... 

Oh wait... 

Ok I checked... Google said pronunciation correct... Thank you Google... 

So anyway the photo shared by the cast... (as seen above)

When it hit me that I was staring at that arm... utterly captivated... was when I realized I probably need help at this point... 

Like I could write sonnets to those arms... especially when it comes with those things called the biceps... I seriously could...

I mean... IF I could... I can't... 

But IF I could... I would... I would if I could...  

Yes, I would... I surely would..

Don't be embarrassed, Tyler...

Also I realize it would probably be embarrassing... if I find out that his fans were wrong... and that isn’t actually him in that photo...

Anyway, for the sake of argument... let’s just assume those are his arms... because I could definitely "shake" the "peare" out of those arms....  

Thou thinkest only thou canst write sonnets, O' Shakespeare, peer of the sonnet realm... I canst too... 

See yonder my prose... Lackluster, they are not....  

Man this is exhausting...

Fun Fact : Did you know the word, lackluster was invented by Shakespeare... He used it in one of his plays... He also invented words like bandit, critic, dauntless, dwindle and many others... 

Man who knew... The things you learn reading my blog...

Sorry... I was trying to get my Tennyson on, Tyler.... Or I should say my Tylerson on... 

But since my poetry skills (unlike my mother's, who's a wonderful poet), remain at pens, “I got a pen. My pen is blue. I'm crushing on you. Wanna be my boo?”.... 

I think I'll refrain.... 

Wouldn't want Emily Dickinson paying me a visit tonight... to admonish me for my lackluster... normal people would say horrible... poetry attempts.... and becoming the "thing" that perches on my bed's headboard.... 

I'd much rather have hope perching in my soul.

Sorry, Bitsie... Just trying to sound smart... and be smart... like you...

Apparently not working... Moving on... 

Man, when you write a post like a teenager hankering after the star quarterback.... 

Which comes from all the teen shows Netflix keeps suggesting to me... 

Look, my teenage cousin stayed over and maybe we did watch a lot of teen shows during her stay... But it was only that one time... Only when she was around... 

Stop judging me, Netflix!

Although maturity wise, I'm probably at “teen” level... No offense, teens... So maybe Neflix may have valid justifications for their reasoning... 

Also... Maybe I do enjoy watching these shows... They are so interesting... 

Your only worry is whether the hot guy in school likes you... There are no bosses... bills... or car servicing and how much it's gonna cost this time... to worry you... Life is also way more fun as a teen... 

Anyway... Back to Tyler Hoechlin...  

And his fans... Whom I'm indebted to... for the gifs and photos of him that they share so generously... 

His laugh does wonders for my soul.... and when I'm having a bad day, I can safely say, “I was blessed with cuteness this morning”...

Ok actually mostly I say this when my colleagues and friends send cute photos of their kids.... but it can also be used for Tyler...

 

Yeah... you...

 

So Tyler Hoechlin and his magnificent appendage... His arm... in that photo shared by the cast member, above...

Just to be clear... It's not that I wanted to stare at his arm... 

I did it mostly for research purposes... Like what kind of workout does it take to get those arms... how many reps... how heavy his weights... 

See research... Purely academic purposes... 

Very Professor McGonagall… Prim and proper.... No sleaziness at all... 

I'm like a nun, yo, very respectable.... even if I think Tyler is da bomb! (this is how they talk on those teen shows)...

Wait, Tyler... Don't go... I'm just getting started... 

Trust me, it's going to get even more embarrassing from here on out... 

And I say this with no shame whatsoever... 

I'm like, why feel shame.... be proud of being an embarrassing mess...

 

I guess Tyler accepts his fate and my shameless ways... 

Or I should say, his gif is...

  

Let me begin my sordid tale...  

P.S. I just realized I wrote a bunch of annoying, rambling, vomit-inducing drivel about Tyler and his limbs before getting to my actual post... I may need professional help... Sorry, Tyler...

 

It looks like Tyler is bracing for the worst, doesn't it?

So recently, Bitsie Tulloch, Tyler Hoechlin's co-star in the Superman & Lois series, shared in her IG story that Tyler got her a gift for her Birthday...

 

He baked her a bread! 

How sexy is that... 

Nothing says "sexy" than a man who cooks and bakes... 

And when I say sexy, I'm usually referring to the food..

 

     

 

 

 

 

Most fans : 

awwwwww 

Tyler Hoechlin baked @BitsieTulloch a bread for her Birthday. 

He's so sweet!

He's gorgeous and he bakes too...  

He's so perfect... Sighhhhh... 

 

 

My reaction :

Whattttt????

I'm honest.

And also a jealous 5-year-old. 

Ok Ok... Just kidding.... You don't have to glare at me, Tyler... 

I already feel like a naughty little girl... 

Should I go stand in the corner?

 

Editor: Sorry for the irritating babble of this blogger... She has sleep deprivation syndrome.

Yes... An illness I totally made up... I also made up the editor... I'm cool like that...

 

Thank you Tyler... I mean I hope those were words of sympathy from you...

and not words asking me to go find a rock, crawl under it and never come out...  

 

Making things worse is the fact that he got her a board game, which to me is like the perfect gift... as I'm a board game nut... 

Although most people would say I'm a bit of a nut in most aspects of my life... so nutty... I should be named Hazelnut...

I usually just ignore them...  

It's the thing I sometimes wish people would buy me for Birthdays and Christmas... 

So to make my own dreams come true, I buy these board games for myself as a personal self-surprise gift... because I've always been a 'make-my-dreams-come-true' kind of gal... 

Sometimes I even act surprised with the gift I bought for myself... 

And no, that's not weird... It's called being supportive... of oneself... 

I think I read it in some self-help book... 

I'm kidding... I don't read self-help books... 

Look, if Mr. Bean can be happy living his life.... so can I...    

 

ME! I love surprises... Isn't the best kind of prize a surprise, or so Wonka says...

So what do I get for Birthdays and Christmases? 

Make-up... which I don't use... Although I'm coming to see that it could be their attempt at telling me "wear make-up, woman... "orc" is not a good look for you"....

Or I get perfumes... Which is the ultimate, “I don't know what to get you, so here's something that smells nice”...

Although I really hope it's not a reflection of how I smell... 

Man... I'm not winning any points with Tyler, am I?

Ok Ok... I'm a terrible person I know... 

Perfumes are great gifts... Especially when they're expensive they get me a scent I like... that's not too flowery or strong...

Buying perfume for another person is only a good idea if you know the scent they like... I got a bottle of perfume as a gift once, and happily sprayed it on... went to work... then realized I did not like the scent... 

So now I had to spend the entire day at work not liking the way I smelt... 

Because spraying perfume is more for us... rather than for others... 

We have to like the scent because we are the ones who have to live with that scent for the rest of our lives... I mean the whole day... 

But I have been lucky so far, that my family members know what I like and get me just the right kind of scent...

My colleague once came looking for me at the pantry because she said she came out of her room, on the way to the pantry... got a perfume scent in the corridor... and said to herself... “This smell belongs to Crys”...

So off she went... looking for me... following the scent... 

So apparently I smell... 

But hopefully in a good way... And not in a 'dead socks' way... 

I'm sure DKNY knows what they are doing... and no socks were harmed in the making... 

It's like Tyler Hoechlin going to conventions and making his fans giddy with excitement... 

He spreads joy wherever he goes... I guess I spread perfume scent? 

Oh well, we all have to aim for something...

Wait... I just realized that perfumes are also my go-to gifts for people... yikes!

Hope they like the scent I picked for them...

So "Friends". I guess the only thing I know about Friends is the theme song... 

And that Tyler Hoechlin once named Jennifer Aniston as his celebrity crush... Which means I would never watch the show ever... 

I ain't watching any show that has his celebrity crush...

Like I used to enjoy the Underworld series... Then he named Kate Beckinsale as another celebrity crush... and can't say I really blame him cause she is badass and beautiful... now that's another movie I can't watch... 

I don't even send the Full House Michelle Tanner gifs in my family chat group anymore because Ashley Olsen was my celebrity crush's celebrity crush as a kid...

So much so he even wrote her a love letter...  

I hate love letters!

Fun Fact : My sister and I were not allowed to watch Friends when we were young because my mom found the jokes to be too raunchy for us... 

Even if my sister and I were in our late teens at that time or maybe even in our 20s... Who knows... My mom's censorship bar is quite high... 

However, from the little of Friends I sneakily watched when I was like... 30... I realized that Joey would probably be me... 

Cause sometimes I'm as wise as him too... I'm also a little OCD like Monica...  

I wasn't even allowed to read a Mills & Boon book until I was 18... All my school friends were reading them... and gave them to me to read.... My mom saw the book in my hand and said "No"....

And then I turned 18, read one Mills & Boon book excitedly...

(when you finally get to read or watch something that was previously banned by your mom... and now you're considered old enough and the ban is lifted... and you're all ready to indulge in the forbidden)... 

But it's like finding out the truth about being an adult...   

When you're young and you wait to become an adult.... so you can join in all the “adult” conversations... 

and don't have to go to school anymore... and can eat tater tots for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and nobody is going to stop you... cause look you're an adult, you can do whatever you want... 

But then realized “adult” also means bills, responsibilities... late nights but no time for tv, only work... and some punk kid, who's just a few years younger than you,  calling you “aunty”... Dude, I'm your age!

P.S. When they call me aunty, I go sit in the corner and cry for seven days…

Fine call me aunty… call me maybe… as long as you don’t call me monkey…

Anyway, turned 18, read a Mills & Boon book... 

found all the romance bit so boring... 

rolled my eyes a little at all the gooey stuff... 

and haven't read another Mills & Boon book since... 

Exactly my reaction reading the book.... especially the love scenes...

Not that I'm hating on those books... 

The stories were ok... The romance part tolerable... 

It's the love scenes that I found icky... 

What can I say, I have... issues with intimacy... Some might call it insanity...  

Too much information?

Sorry, Tyler... Back to the topic at hand...  

And the most important... world-changing... question...

Am I a jealous wreck when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin???

Please bear with me while I study this hypothesis.... 

Why hypothesis you might say cause I'm sensing scepticism? 

It's because I'm practicing for when I write my thesis one day.... 

But then again, I keep telling people I want to do my Master's but don't have the finances or the time for it right now... but in truth though, I'm simply lazy... 

Don't give me that look, Tyler... The look that says, "are you comparing your intelligence level to an ape... cause pretty sure the apes are smarter"... 

Errrr... They took over a planet with nothing going for them, but their hairy body and intelligence... They didn't even need clothes... So of course they're smart... 

I would be proud to be called an ape... 

Note from the Editor: Man... So cheesy... 

P.S. Yes I'm the editor and writer... ignore me...

However, I AM a smart person... although maybe some of the things I write here may not exactly support that “smart” declaration... 

Like I do have difficulties setting the location on Google Map for when I want food delivered to my home... or to the home of my siblings, relatives or friends...  

Getting the location right is so frustrating! Especially the whole pinning thing... 

Confusing as mad is what it is... and choking my phone mad is what I become... 

P.S. Wasn't that a smart play on words? See me smart...

Editor: NO!

 

I hate you Google and your map... 

Ok... Ok... Sorry, Google... That was rude... I don't really hate you... 

You've been a huge help cause I'm bad with directions... have difficulty remembering places, and have trouble going from one place to another... 

I've lived in the same town for 40 years... and it's a small town... but honestly I still can get lost... 

I'm not kidding, Tyler... Me finding a place is like looking for the bean sprouts in my noodles so I can remove them... 

I just want the noodles... I ain't eating no bean sprouts...  

I even feel the need to apologize to my mouth whenever I accidentally eat some bean sprouts...

I hate bean sprouts... 

Man... When you can even irritate kid Tyler Hoechlin... 

He was probably the type of good kid... who ate all his veges... even bean sprouts...

 

 

Sorry.. I'm going through a phase.. the losing weight phase... so I'm always thinking about food... 

Occasionally I think of Tyler Hoechlin... But mostly, it's food... 

My colleagues get excited when there's a make-up, bags or clothing sale, or when a handsome guy joins the company, I get excited when I see food.... 

 

Me when I see food...

When my mom says she's cooking, or my godmother brings something over, or when my sister bakes or my sister-in-law cooks... I'm breathless with excitement.... 

I don't need to climb up to cloud 9 to be happy... I'm happy at just the 1^st cloud... 

Only food can get my heart racing... 

 

No guy I've met has done that...

Although seeing Tyler Hoechlin with that bacon in his hand did give me a certain amount of pleasure... 

It did evoke some sexy thoughts... 

like a sudden craving for bacon..

When it comes to food... my mouth is always willing and able... ready to serve... 

I once told my colleague, who loves to bake but is renting a place with no oven... that I buy the ingredients... She bakes... I eat... 

Luckily she didn't block me on whatsapp after that message...

 

I'm guessing if I had Tyler's phone number, he would not only block me... 

he would wish he could send shock impulses to me through the phone... 

I tend to have that effect on people... 

Although sometimes seeing him does give me some shock impulses... of the electric kind... if you know what I mean... wink wink...

Sorry, Tyler... Too much information...

Also, judging from the movies I watch, the 'wink wink' does give off a bit of a frat boy vibe... Sorry... It's the movies' fault...

And honestly, I may have used “wink wink”... but I don’t know what “of the electric kind” means either...

Actually I don't know what "wink wink" means either...

 

Wait... Was that your explanation, Tyler? Or are you asking me to leave this planet and never come back? Because all I see is you in white... and I lose all train of thought... All I hear is.... Ok you’re much better not knowing what I hear..   

I read somewhere that being obsessed about a celebrity makes you less smart... 

I wouldn't say I'm not smart... just a little bit crazy sometimes...

Anyways...

Food and my intelligence aren't the topics for discussion here... 

The real question is, am I a jealous wreck when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin???

Hmmmm let me see... 

 

Wait... Is that the reaction to my blog post???

(pout)

 

1) Feeling twinges of envy, that makes me ashamed, when I think of all the women he has dated, loved, liked... or had a crush on...   

They are some celebrities you like... watch all their movies... listen to all their songs... cheer for their success... cry when their show ends... but happy when you see them living a content life with their significant other... 

I see photos of these celebrities being all romantic with their partner... I go awwww... 

I see photos of Tyler with his girlfriend... or actually with any woman... and I break the pen in my hand...

And my mom, wondering why we need to keep buying new pens, says, “They don't make things like they used to... In those days, things lasted for years”...

And I end up feeling ashamed for letting the pen manufacturers take the blame for my hands' lack of control... 

But I couldn't very well tell my mom that I broke the pen because I was jealous of Tyler's women, now could I? Cause that would be weird...

So, with a lot of guilt in my heart, I threw those poor pen manufacturers under the bus...

 

Yeah I know, Tyler-Clark Kent... I'm disappointed in myself too... 

 

And I'm not usually that kind of person... 

At work, my colleagues make mistakes... and when our boss (so glad he's an ex-boss now)... starts his rant for that mistake... I quietly share the blame with them even if I wasn't part of the discussion that led to that mistake... 

I'm not going to let some bus run over my colleagues... I'm no Gollum...

I'm not going to tell my boss, "Them... They didst it... Sneaky little colleaguesss"...

Yup... No... I'm not a backstabbing staff... never have been... never will be... who would Smeagol them and sell them to some man-eating spiders... 

So yeah I felt guilty... Sorry, Pen Manufacturers... 

Look... I want Tyler happy too and not sad or lonely... 

But him, happy with his family and friends... and baseball bat... is what I want for him...  

You know the saying... Once a baseball man... Always a baseball man... 

So yeah remain the baseball man, Tyler... 

No need women... Who says all you need is love... Baseball is all you need...

 

You can't get no satisfaction?

 

Balderdash! What do the Rolling Stones know...

There's nothing wrong with being married to your bat...  

Loads of fun and satisfaction... 

 

See.. Fun!

 

Like look at me... I'm in a loving relationship with my TV...  

I even tell people that... Married to my TV... They think I'm mad... I ignore them... 

So wishing you a happy life with your bat...

Clark Kent had Lois... You have your Louise... Your Louisville Slugger...

No... Not Stiles... Jeez... 

This is what happens when you check out the #tylerhoechlin mentions, and stumble upon a bunch of Stereks... 

Some are cute and funny... Some I need to Google... 

Some I see and worry I might need to go to confession...

But mostly I don't get Sterek because I don't want him with anyone.... 

So seeing Derek Hale happy with Stiles isn't going to get me excited... 

My greatest dream is to see Derek Hale as a widower with a kid, so I won't have to sit through his love scenes... 

P.S. Update: Watched the latest Teen Wolf movie. Derek Hale. Widower. Kid.... Funny how some things I write on my blog end up coming true...

 

Yes exactly, Tyler.. Stick to that bat...

So when I said "baseball bat", I meant the sports kind, which I'm hoping will always be his first love...

And that his abs will be the only thing that keeps him company at night.. 

Together with his Crash of Titans... Or Clash of Titans... 

Clash of Clans?

Crash of Clans?

Clams???

Wait... Why would anyone want to play a video game about clams???

I'm getting the "what is wrong with you" vibes from you, Tyler. 

I'm sorry... I don't know video games... And I'm lazy to Google... 

I'm not a game type of person... I may or may not be the only person on the planet.. who hasn't installed any games on her phone... 

People take my phone to fill their time with a game or two... and find food apps... 

There's maybe snapchat that they could have fun with.... which I don't use but this little girl I used to babysit... the subject of my long-winded prattle about the joys of babysitting... installed it on my phone many years ago...

She's all grown-up now... and prefers to spend time with BTS and her friends... instead of boring old me... 

But I haven't deleted the app in case she wants to spend time with me again...

 

Pathetic or smart...

So anyway, any playing Tyler does... should be with video games... 

Judge me all you want... but hey IF I CAN BE single and happy... SO CAN HE! 

P.S. Using capital letters to show my seriousness...

Editor: Give it a rest... Nobody cares...

Don't look at me like I'm a horrible person... 

And you have no right to judge me, Mr. “I will kill everyone to be alpha and backstab my own family and then think a smile will make it ok” Mr. Peter Hale / Tyler's bestie IRL...

Look... I'm not a horrible person... I do offer to share the grapes I brought for my lunch with my colleagues...

Ok... Only when they see me eating those grapes and I have no choice but to share.... but it's still sharing!

 

Don't laugh at me, Tyler...

 

Because I love grapes... like LOVE THEM! 

The "write love songs to grapes" kind of love... So sharing them was painful... 

See.. I'm a good person... 

I also do charity work... 

Ok.... Yes.... Maybe charity for me is putting money into the collection/offertory bag at church... and not like 'cook at a soup kitchen' kind of charity... 

I mean I would if I could cook... But I can't...   

My definition of cooking is stirring the pot of whatever my mom is cooking... and tasting the food...

And I'm shy... I can't talk to strangers... 

Ok... Fine... 

When you can't even convince Clark Kent that you're a good person, who's the ultimate "see good in everyone... give them second chances" kind of person... it's when you know you have no chance convincing anyone...

Look... I'm trying to be a good person... 

Even if jealousy gets the better of me when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin... 

I'm just glad that he's private about his girlfriends and doesn't post many photos with them... 

I already feel jealous seeing him being so close and chummy with Bitsie..

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tyler Hoechlin (@tylerhoechlin)

When he shared this post... I cried... 

Ok maybe not cried but I was sad... Sad enough to skip the cake my mom gave me... 

Like cakes and my mouth are besties... Always together...

 

Me and cake...💕

 

So it took something as monumentally heartbreaking as seeing him so close with Bitsie to make me turn down that cake... 

Editor: She ate the cake...

Ok I ate the cake... Like who could say “no” to their mom... especially when they're offering cake...

 

Tyler doesn't seem impressed... 

A lot of people give me this look too when I start talking... 

 

Tyler and Bitsie are just friends and still I'm jealous... The pouting kind of jealous.... 

Imagine if it were a girlfriend, that Tyler took that cosy photo with and happily shared it with us.... I would have.... smashed the cake... 

It would have broken me since I love cake and seeing it smashed would have been painful... 

Also if it's smashed, then I can't eat it when I'm feeling better...

I'm sorry!

I do want Tyler to be happy... Also I really like cake...

He could go on trips... Go to Paris... 

Since he seems to like all things French... 

I like France too... 

For me, the thing I like about France is the food...  

Like it's me... obviously it's the food I would like...

The lure of France is definitely the croissants… 

I know we have croissants here too… but the croissants from Paris… Have you tried original Paris-made croissants… Man!!! 😋 

I mean technically I haven’t tried them too… but I would imagine they would taste good… very Paris-y…

And also the language...

When I was doing my degree (yes I have a degree... I know reading this blog would probably make people wonder if I ever went to school... but no.... I do know my ABCs... I'm just a strange woman who writes weird stuff)... we had to take a foreign language.

Most went for Spanish... Cause Spanish telenovelas were a thing back then... And no... It wasn't at a time when dinosaurs ruled...

We were so hooked on Mis Tres Hermanas... Loved the series' Apollo Bono theme song...

Sorry... That was rude... I meant A Puro Dolor (Purest of Pain) by Son By Four... 

 

It was the time when getting a mechanical pencil was the highlight of your school life... 

You were considered cool if you had a mechanical pencil... 

I didn't.... I used normal pencils...

To think there was a time when mechanical pencils were considered a luxury... And some families, including mine, couldn't afford them...

Anyway... Most students took Spanish as their third language.... 

French was also popular... Mostly cause everyone was talking about the gorgeous French professor who was teaching the class... 

And girls would get excited every time he walked down the hallway.... 

He was like Gaston but without the “need to check the mirror all the time” vibes... 

I mean I guess he was.... I didn't really notice... 

I actually didn't really look at guys growing up... 

I was in the, “I don't want love, don't do crush, don't notice men” stage.... Come to think of it, I'm still at that stage now...

I do have this tendency to think of all men as brothers... and all women as sisters... 

Not really sure though why this “brotherly-sisterly” feelings I have for all men skipped Tyler...

 

Maybe it was the white sweater... I do like seeing men in white...  

 

But it could be because I haven’t met him in real life… The type of guy I assume he is could just be a figment of my imagination… 

If I did meet him, who knows, this crush could magically evaporate… 

And he could be added to my “brotherhood” pool, where all men I know in life, remain… swimming happily… without fear of having my interest fall on them…

 

As long as he doesn’t do cute gestures like this in real life… and stays off the white…

Anyway... I chose French because I love the language... 

Then people dropped the class when they found out the French professor quit... I didn't...

So anyway... Don't remember much of what I learnt... 

Just "Bonjour. Je m'appelle Crystal"... 

 

Like my French, Tyler?

Oh man.. Now I wonder if Tyler whispering French words would be sexy... 

He already has a sexy voice... 

And I've always found the language to be so sexy... So sexy.... 

Especially when it comes in tight pants...

 

Wait... Is that a threat to get me to stop rambling about you, Tyler? 

Sorry... I will try... 

Even though I have to admit that scene on Teen Wolf looked more like a treat than a threat... 

More enticing than menacing...  

 

Man... Now the guns have come out...

Anyway... Honestly, although I may love French cuisine and the language, and its art and monuments, it wouldn't be my first European country to visit...

If I had the chance to go overseas, I wouldn't seek out places with a happening nightlife... 

I would look for destinations with ancient architecture and cultural heritage sites... 

Source : https://www.archdaily.com/unesco-cultural-sites-virtually-rebuilt-in-gifs

Because I have always loved History and tales of lore and mystery... 

I also enjoy places with sandy beaches... 

Admittedly, the big, wide expanse of water that is called the ocean does scare me a little... 

 But I still love looking at it and being near it...

And when I say “it”... I was talking about the ocean and not Tyler Hoechlin... 

Although I hear this movie does have Tyler running on the beach... which I consider a win...

That's also probably Tyler's reaction if he does see me... 

Like “what the whale is that... Is that a woman?"...

 

Yup... That's me... Like Calvin... I'm unique... 

 

My dream holiday is in a nice countryside... 

huddled under my blanket, with a good book in my hand... coffee next to me... 

sitting by the window... enjoying the view... 

Because for me, one of life's pleasures is being surrounded by the beauty of nature...   

 

Yes... Enjoying the view...

 

While listening to the whistling sound of the wind... heralding the coming storm... as I have a thing for the sound of whistling wind...

Making it more perfect would be if this cottage was by the beach... 

A cabana... way down in Kokomo...  

Editor: Cheesy!

Me: Sorry...

Editor: Also... You know nobody cares about your favorite holiday, right?

Me: Hmmmm yeah so?

It's not the sound of the boom boom at a club that interests me... 

It's the wind... and the rain it brings...

Thrilling for me is the howling, whistling sound of the wind before a heavy downpour... 

I love watching the rain... Listening to the rhythm of the falling rain... 

Maybe because, like the song, most of the time I feel like a fool too... having a crush on a person I don't know in real life... 

Sometimes I wish I could take a holiday... go off somewhere alone... and just read the collection of books I have that I currently don't have time to read... 

That would be my holiday... Eat good food and then read... That's it... Eat and read... No shopping... or partying at nightclubs...

I'm not like the women in movies, who go on holiday and hope to find love and romance... I don't even want to meet a dog... or a cat... especially a man who's a cad... The only man I want to see is the one serving me food..

 

Dream vacation...

I have a crazy interest in reading horoscopes and the Chinese Zodiac...  

I don't let them dictate my life... because I truly believe that life is what we make of it... and nothing is truly set in stone.... 

I'm a firm believer in faith and God's Will, and in always accepting that everything happens for a reason...

But I do get a certain amount of pleasure when things look good... while remaining cautious when the outlook for my zodiac sign seems dim...

I also like to read them for fun.... They can be so inexplicably accurate.... especially in their descriptions of my personality and characteristics...

I enjoy looking at the descriptions to identify my strengths, as dictated by my zodiac sign... while also taking stock of my weaknesses, with the aim of improving and becoming a better person... 

I'm sorry for sounding douchy... but yeah, zodiacs are great for a little self-reflection.

 

I guess that's a yes to me being a douche...

 

So anyway,

I'm an Aquarius and a goat under the Chinese Zodiac... 

It says that I am shy and mild-mannered... 

Which is kinda true... Unless I'm hungry.... then I go from rabbit to Godzilla... 

Tyler is a rabbit by the way under the Chinese-zodiac... and he's described as gentle, patient and kind, treating people with politeness, having a sincere smile, never discouraged but always persistent in his endeavors... 

And I see that a little from his interviews and the way he is in bts shots... 

I don't know him personally so I wouldn't know what he's like behind closed doors but so far what I see... is what makes me a fan of his... 

I do realize though we can't judge a person's life, character or personality... or make assumptions about them, their life or their relationships, by their social media posts... or what is posted on social media about them... 

Just because my friends share about the fun trip they had.... all the places they have been, and things they have done... doesn't mean those of us who don't share... have not had a good time. 

My social media page may look like I just stay at home, eat and sleep.... 

 

Gee thanks Tyler... 😞

 

It is true that I may not exactly be a party animal or socially active.... But I do go on trips with my family... We have fun - karaoke, play games, talk and share jokes.... I just don't see the need to share it on social media...

And not everything posted on social media is factual... I personally know a colleague, who complains about another friend of hers... but going by her social media posts... you would think they are besties...

Her husband also posted about her sending all these Birthday surprises for him... and people reading the post would think... awwwww so romantic... couple of the year...  but she told us that she was sending them because he complained she wouldn't remember his Birthday... so she did it just to make him sorry for saying those words...

 

Yeah... My reaction too, Tyler...

Not saying their relationship is bad... It works for them... But I just feel nothing on social media is to be believed... 

Just like people thinking ohhhh Tyler doesn’t spend any time with so and so... or doesn't do anything for them.... but maybe he does... and he or whomever he’s spending time with don’t post the things they are doing together... 

Most of the time, when it comes to Tyler... the only way we know what he’s doing is when someone else posts about it... whether it's fans meeting him... or the person spending time with him sharing it on their story.... 

Or if it's a public event... 

I can actually relate to him not sharing much about his life on social media... because I'm that type too... 

I prefer just making memories with the people I care about... without needing to let the world know through social media... that I went here and there... ate this and that... or did this and that... 

Occasionally I do... but those instances are rare... 

 

Yeah.. once in a while... my social media followers may get the “vacation mode on” story... Although most of the time they get nothing... because either I forgot... or was too lazy to post anything.. I usually just re-share somebody else’s post... But my siblings are the not-posting type either... so... yeah... most of the time.... nothing...

 

Which is why although I like what I see so far about Tyler, I know it's just an assumption... and I may be wrong... 

But I'm going to use the positivity I see from him through the things he shares in social media and during cons and interviews... to make me a better person...

Under the Chinese culture, rabbits are represented by the moon... because the shadows of the moon resembles a rabbit... and because of the rabbit's pure characteristics... 

I can't attest to his pure-ness... But it's a funny coincidence... that Tyler gained a name for himself and a following... because of the moon in a way, by playing a werewolf... 

Now when I see his goofy smile and dorky-ness, it makes me feel all warm inside like when I see photos of cute rabbits... 

Aquarius are known for their free-spirited nature... We are said to be independent and cherish our sense of freedom... 

We enjoy stimulating conversations and intellectual activities... and open to exploring new things... 

This does describe me a little... I do enjoy books more than fashion or make-up...  

And I'm always ready to accept new responsibilities at work as a chance to grow, learn new skills and challenge myself... 

We are also said to have difficulty committing... which explains why I've never been in love... 

It would probably take a lot for me to fall in love... to even be attracted to a guy... 

Although there is one aspect of being Aquarius that doesn't fit me at all...  Aquarius people are supposed to be very social and enjoy partying... Hmm... not me...

I do like to make plans and goals for the day or the weekend.... Like I have a routine... Come home from work... Do my workouts... then see to my blogging... which doesn't exactly make them Google bots happy... but hey I can't make every bot happy... 

Even my workout routine are planned... Today HIIT... Tomorrow upper body dumbbells... The next day – light cardio... Then the day after that bike and leg workouts... Weights again the next day.... 

Yeah I'm becoming a workout junkie... Which is a rambling for another day... 

So anyway... All planned... So when the plans are disrupted... I'm not happy.. 

Even if the Aquarius in me rebels against my grumpiness... Frowns at my unhappiness on having my plans disrupted... 

Like it tells me live up to your zodiac... But I can't... 

Rebel I am... without a cause...  James Dean would be proud... 

Most of the time, the plans change because of my family... 

My mom's youngest brother loves surprises... And he knows we enjoy their company... and will be happy to see them...

So sometimes they show up unexpectedly... 

My siblings do that too... Unexpected surprise visits... 

My family; a bunch of surprise-givin' people...

But all I want to do is achieve my goals... Like I had plans! 

So grumpy I am... 

Yes, Tyler, I know I'm horrible... 

But on the bright side, maybe it's the Aquarius in me... But my mood does improve after a while... 30 mins maybe... 

They are a fun bunch... And I love them... So it's hard to remain grumpy... and yes my goals could not be achieved... but I am happy to see them...

Nobody cares, right? 

 

When it comes with that smile, Tyler, I'll accept the yes...

 

So scenery instead of party spots is more my thing...

I'm not the partying on the yacht kind... 

Although I wouldn't mind a yacht that could take me to a beautiful island... where I could sit on the beach... enjoy the view... with a cocktail in one hand... and a book in the other...

Most of the time I try to avoid social gatherings... I don't know what to say... or do... 

I don't even know where to look... here... there... left.... right... the table... the coat hanger.... 

The eyes need a place to land... and they usually land on some unsuspecting fellow... who thinks I'm staring at him because I have a thing for him... 

 

The guy's feelings exactly...

 

Seriously dude, I wasn't looking at you... I probably didn't even notice you... or be able to describe you to a sketch artist... that is if you are murderously inclined... so for my sake and the sketch artist's sanity... be good, go home and sleep... preferably alone... 

Trust me, I wasn't staring at you... Not even your clothes... My eyes needed a place to lock on to and chose you as the victim.... That's it... 

Maybe if you were eating something tasty, I was probably noticing that... a lot... maybe even drooling a little... but noticing you... Nope... I couldn't care less... 

 

Sorry...

I guess the thing I don't have in common with Tyler... from what I see based on my online “research”... of his summer traveling itinerary... or weekend excursions...

He used to be a little bit country.. Now he's a little bit rock and roll... 

I imagine him to be Clark Kent in real life.. But he could be more of a Bruce Wayne... He does like Batman a lot...

His choice of course... His life... But then again who knows what he likes...

He could be the watching sports guy... the go hiking... or the hard core partying guy... That's his right... 

He's not harming anyone... And also he's helping the economy... Generating income for the business... 

 

You can't expect them to make money if everyone stays home reading books, can you... Leave the reading to me... 

And leave the partying to those who can... who look good doing them.... and who enjoy them... 

I'd probably come across as a bit dowdy anyway, since my idea of fashion is letting nothing be seen... I ain't wearing any skirts with high slits or low cut dresses... I won't even show my shoulders... 

No clothes that leave nothing to the imagination... But then again, those who do wear them, are those with bodies.... men spend time imagining... and dreaming... 

My body is one people not only don't imagine, they hope they never see.... 

But hey... fine with me... I don't want to show them either...

So anyway... No nightclub is going to let me in... even if it's to clean their toilets... Which is also fine by me... I hate cleaning toilets, and usually try to skip doing the ones at home too...

Anyway, Tyler has every right to have fun... 

 

Yes... You, Tyler.... Now go away...

I don't want to think about you right now... 

Some serious Harvard research paper writing going on here...

 

Because I feel almost similar taste makes it easier for two people to get along... 

But then I realized I'm stupid..... What am I thinking... I'm just a fan... He doesn't know I exist... We don't need to have similar taste... 

It's not like we're friends or could even be... We're not going to be working together... or hanging out... 

Or playing catch... Cause any ball I play will be the hitting him on the face type... and not the smoothly catching it type...

I don't even go to his comic con appearances... Or pay for a M&G with him... 

Fun Fact : I'm actually the loser who when first learnt about comic con... thought that the celebrities meeting their fans, signing things and taking photos with them... were actually doing it for free because they love their fans... 

It was only later I learnt that fans pay for these privileges... 

Man, being a celebrity is way too much fun... You get paid to take photos and hug people... 

I wish I could get paid every time someone took a photo with me... 

But then again, even if people wanted to pay me, I still may not want to do the photo thing.. or the hugging thing... or the selfie thing... 

I have touching and selfie issues... 

Yes. Sorry, Tyler... The selfie and touching issues extend to you too. 

The reason I don't want a boyfriend.. Cause you have to do the whole hand holding thing too...

Also, any man who wants to be with me would probably be a con man... 

Sorry, handsome guy pretending to fall in love with me and wanting to be my boyfriend so he could scam me out of my money - I don't have any...  

 

 Is that your way of saying you wouldn't want to hold my hand at comic-con, even if I paid you? It's fine. My hands totally understand... The water pouring out of my hands is just sweat... Not tears... My hands are fine... (sob)...  

 

Then again, even if I pay people, they probably wouldn't want to hug me also...

The camera would probably pay people to stay away from me... to avoid having its lenses assaulted by my face.... Oh whatever... Man.. It's tough being human...

Anyway I'm sure Tyler's con appearance is just photo ops and selfies... and maybe a brief conversation... 

Not eating popcorn at the movies... or matching tattoos... 

 

Yeah... I get that "wait what" shocked reaction a lot...

 

Nobody for sure is going to say to me, “You crushed it!” at my clubbing abilities... Which is why I don't get why I have this crush on this man named Tyler...  

Like crushing on cheese is safer... No cheese is going to crush my heart... unless it gets moldy... then I'll be crushed I can't eat it...  

P.S. Yes! Won the 'use the word "crush" as many times as you can in a paragraph' challenge... I should reward myself with some cheese.. 

I can feel this blog's "editor" (which is me, yes) glaring at me....

 

If only my Editor looked this good glaring... 

Once my brother called.. and joked about going clubbing... because my sister in law was away for the week, visiting her parents... and he was alone as he had work and couldn't go with her... 

And me, trying to be clever, quipped, “I just came back from clubbing.. I'm so tired... Going to sleep”... and my brother dashed my attempts at being cool with... “It's 9pm now... No clubs are open that early... All the clubbing usually starts after 10 or 11”... 

Hmmm, failure confirmed... There's no better way to show how much you fail at being a clubber... than by not knowing their operating hours...

I sometimes see people posting party scenes with everyone dancing and overflowing drinks... and I realize, it's not really my thing... I mean I do enjoy cocktails and whisky but in the comfort of my own home...   

I guess I'm just the type who likes to sit at home, with a book or a good movie... 

I do like to travel but it's more to places with interesting and unique things like creative displays... and a nice scenery...

Maybe I'm just old school... More old-fashioned... Or I'm just old...

 

I guess I deserved that "yeah"...

Maybe if I was younger... I would enjoy going out partying... Staying up all night... Clubbing... Getting all dressed up... 

I would like to blame it on my age for being the non-partying kind... but I know there are many people my age and older, who still like to party... 

Who enjoy going to clubs... or a rave or two... 

 

Me too, Sheldon... Me too...

 

In all honesty though, even when I was younger... in my 20s... I was never really the partying kind... My weekends were always TV and books... 

It's not like I don't enjoy staying up all night drinking whisky... but it's more with my family... 

And it's usually chatting the whole night or playing a game of Monopoly...  

I guess I've always been a homebody... A house potato... 

Although that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy traveling if I had the chance... 

My dream vacation spots or countries I would love to visit would be; 

Greece for their beaches and their charming blue cottages, the blue domes of Oia, and the traditional Cycladic houses...  

P.S. Again trying to give the impression of being smart and knowledgeable... but I actually just Googled their names... 

 

I'm a sore disappointment, I know...

 

Scotland and Ireland for their architecture and scenery, and most importantly, their magic, mystery, legend and lore...  

Italy especially Rome, for maybe those authentic Italian pizza... Switzerland for their chocolates... Yup... In the end, it always comes down to food... 

Anyway... Come to think of it... Tyler probably likes Paris for the beautiful French women, doesn't he? 

Hmmm was that a yes, Tyler?

 

Cause now I remember France means models... and French fashion shows like the ones he attends... 

Which I hope he attends because he's paid to attend... or forced to attend... like he has no choice but to attend... and not because he likes looking at them sexy models... 

Like he would rather stay at home and watch Peaky Blinders... 

 

Yes... Watch Peaky Blinders, Tyler... Much better than women... 

Trust me... Would I lie to you?

 

Or read a book... accompanied by a nice glass of whisky... Wait... I think this is more me... 

Who needs a hot woman when you can have a hot slice of pizza, instead... Eh, Tyler??? 

 

Thank you!

 

Most men just like watching sports, right??? 

Or play sports... 

Do workouts... Go hiking and stuff... 

They wouldn't want to look at models, right?? Right???

 

Nope, Tyler? As in almost all men do like to look at models??? Unless they're wholesome Clark Kent... But then again he's an alien so I guess that explains it... 

I don't get it... Why do men like to look at sexy women... We women don't do that... We don't look at sexy... Ok... Maybe that's not really true... 

When it comes to gazing at beauty, I guess it's equal opportunities for all...  

And women do get excited when they see shirtless men with ripped bodies... 

I do see women jumping excitedly when Ellen does her annual event of having shirtless men dancing while collecting money as her version of a poll or something... 

And women excitedly pull these men to them and shove money down their pants.. while I watch in horror... and embarrassment... 

Like if this happened and I was on the Ellen show, I would probably cower under my seat, close my eyes and cry... 

I guess there must be something wrong with me, cause other than Tyler Hoechlin, and that too a fully-dressed Tyler Hoechlin...

Ok occasionally his shirtless scenes but very occasionally... 

People share shirtless photos or movie scenes of an actor renowned for being "hot" and sexy...  I've also seen guys on tv shows and movies with killer abs... 

And honestly I feel nothing... 

No drooling... No excitement... Nothing... 

Is that look because I said other guys had killer abs... 

I was kidding... I only like your abs, Tyler... I promise... 

I don't like no CK model abs... I don't even look... Promise! Scout's honor... 

Trust me, there has been no better honor than my scout's.

I don't go for the overly muscular type... Like those I have seen with bulging arms... and torso... I know some are into it... but not me... 

I wouldn't want it for myself too... I'm doing the bicep curls and other weights workouts... to strengthen my arm and tone my body...  

 

To have your body... not want your body... but a body like yours... and to be strong, active and fit like you...

 

Because my belly fat was beginning to have names.... Like in the plural... 

My stomach was the kind of big that when you iron your clothes naked, you tend to burn your stomach… because it’s all big and hanging…

Editor: Stomach-shaming…

Sorry…  

I just want the flabby parts to be gone... Or I hope so anyway... 

So for me, his body type is just right... Although his toned, ripped body isn't the reason I'm a fan... It's the man beneath that matters... even though that man he is ould be an assumption on my part...

Mostly I like Tyler's eyes... He's got such dreamy eyes.... 

Although I won't go as far as to say I see paradise in them like the song says... cause that would be corny... 

And I'm usually all for using song lyrics to write my corny, cheesy words... 

Like thinking he has angel eyes, that hypnotize you, take your heart, and you worry you have to pay the price because it's just a disguise...

Editor: Sorry, song writers... I'll get her help...   

And his smile... and him in caps, beanies and cardigans, that I now can't see on tv or at the mall, without thinking of him...

The man whose smiles are like sunshine and summer rays.... 

Cause Tyler Hoechlin not smiling is like.... 

Derek Hale... 

No smile... No sunshine... but still hot... 

Hot and sexy like dark, cloudy skies that sizzle with thunder and lightning... 

which I love as much as the sunshine... 

I do say some weird stuff, don't I?

Sorry, Tyler...  

Sorry, people who read my blog (which could be none)...

Hmmmm... Him in a suit too... Forgot about the suit... 

Yeah actually I think guys in suits, especially a 3-piece suit, and sweaters are sexier than those strutting around shirtless and twirling their behind... 

I may not know what Tyler was saying right there, but he could be reciting the periodic table, and I would have still listened attentively... 

I mean... He had the waistcoat on and stuff... can you blame me?

Yup... can watch him talk for hours... 

So anyway... 

Wait what was I saying... Sorry... I got distracted... Sometimes I get my “teen” mode switched on... It's also when I break out my 5 Seconds of Summer song collection...   

So anyway... Other than sometimes looking at Tyler, I mostly just like looking at cute dolls... and food... 

Never scantily-clad men... I guess I'm a girl who thinks and lusts with her stomach... 

I actually found the above shirtless men dancing? Do they call that dancing?... at the Ellen show... kinda... hmmm... I don't want to use any adjective here... cause I want to remain respectful to the people in that gif... 

But seriously... I walk into a scene like that... I'm walking out... I ain't shoving my hands down some unknown man's pants... no matter how ripped he may be... 

And what's exciting about having some random man put his butt on your lap... 

P.S. I wanted to use the term "gluteal region" so I could pretend I was smart... but then reading through my blog, I realize that "smart" is going to be hard to pull off, so I refrained...  

 

Thank you....

 

I don't get why some people enjoy that whole stranger's butt on your lap thing... 

Actually I don't understand why I don't enjoy that... 

Why I'm not turned on by hot men... 

Why I don't click... at all... when I see an article on twitter, BuzzFeed or something that says "click here for photos of hot men"... 

 

Yes... I know you’re thinking... that I would click for you... but no.... keep your clothes on, Tyler...  

 

Some women enjoy looking at photos of hot guys (and vice versa, I guess)... 

I get excited looking at photos of pastries and cakes...

It's like I have a lust malfunction.... A lust defect... 

 

Gee thanks for rubbing it in... 

  

Some talk about the guy they just met and how good he looked... All I usually see is the food... 

Like once, someone caught me staring at a guy... fully engrossed... and they did all the winking thing... thinking I was into him...

Little did they know, that I didn't even notice the guy... all I saw was the burger he was eating... It looked so good, that at that moment, that very moment, I started craving a burger...

 

I would love to enjoy a burger with you, Tyler... but I'm thinking you could be more of the wine and fancy dining type... 

Eating healthy is fine... but I do hope that occasionally you get to partake in the many pleasures of a juicy burger... 

 

Like I hear people saying “but unfortunately he was wearing a wedding ring” when they comment on how handsome a guy was... 

For me, I don't care if he's wearing a ring.. or two.. or ten... or make-up... Like I don't really care if he's married... Makes no difference to me... I wasn't checking him out... 

Honestly.. I see a cute guy.. I just acknowledge he's cute... Like good for you... You won entry into the cute gene pool... Now please hand me the sandwich, thank you...

What can I say... I'm like the weird girl who doesn't even enjoy french toast... 

Like who doesn't enjoy all that sweetness.... 

Apparently... ME... 

I just don't get the appeal... 

I guess I'm more of a cheesecake girl...

 

Please let this be a "I'm interested to hear your rambling" look...

 

My sister recently sent a video to our family group chat... and the video had the caption.... “Why I want to visit Korea”... It showed the vendors selling the food... And the food looked so good... 

And I replied, “The food sure does look good... Let's make a trip”.... 

Then I saw the comments on the video, “Nobody's looking at the food!”.... 

Well, I was!

Apparently, the real source of attraction were the guys selling the food.... 

Sorry... I only noticed the food... Not the guys... Didn't even notice who was doing the selling... 

So I guess if we ever made a trip to South Korea... My sister would probably enjoy looking at the hot Korean guys there... while my eyes will be on the hot Korean chicken...

Thank you? 

I mean there's the word “Congratulations”, so I guess it's a compliment?

Editor: Crys, there's a thing. It's called sarcasm. Look it up!

Me: I was trying to be funny.

Editor: You're not!

 

I'm weird, aren't I, Tyler?

Then, there was what happened recently... 

Went on a holiday with my family... 

And my sister, sister-in-law, cousin, and cousin's girlfriend, were talking about this guy that was swimming on the beach... 

  

 It wasn't you, Tyler... but maybe if it was... who knows... I might have paid attention...

 

So anyway this guy on the beach... apparently was Aquaman Jr... 

In the sense that he was ripped like Jason Momoa but had a slightly smaller physique... 

And when we got back to our resort, they were talking about how hot he was... his abs... his leg... and the swing of his hair when he ran on the beach... 

And they turned to me... and I was like... “Wait.. There was a man there?” 

 

Their reaction exactly...

 

I mean I saw a few people on the beach... but I didn't really notice any particular Momoa man... 

Maybe I saw a guy... I didn't think of him much... I don't think I differentiated him from others... 

My only concentration was trying to stop those big, scary waves from killing me... 

The waves were big... 

I nearly drowned... 

They were not worried about any waves... or that they almost lost me to the scary sea monster... 

All they cared about was the apparently “hot” guy...

 

Although currently for me, this guy is hot... 

But I may change my mind if I see a slice of cheesecake... 

Or a "hot" pizza charming me with its cheese....

 

So anyway the guy on the beach... I didn't even notice him or think of him... He didn't turn me on... 

I'm just the girl who, if I watched Magic Mike, would probably fall asleep, or worse, roll my eyes... 

No offense, Mikers out there...

 

I'm serious, Tyler... 

People have asked me if I'm gay... No... Women don't turn me on either...   

It's like no one turns me on...   

I told you... Something wrong with me...   

Maybe my hormones have a lust deficiency... Hey it could happen... I once had an iron deficiency... I could be lacking in lust too... 

 

Hmmm... Could be this too...

What does that even mean anyway... What do people mean when they say they get turned on... 

Turn on what??? Like a switch??? Because if that's the case, then I guess something's wrong with my lust switch.... It's like stuck at “off”... 

And you can't exactly go to a doctor and ask them, “Why can't I get turned on”... or worse, “Please turn me on... My switch is off”.... 

 

Unless they are the doctors from Grey's Anatomy... because they’re all about finding difficult cases... and curing it...

Face transplants... 3D printings of organs... Misdiagnosis by other hospitals leading to almost psychiatric incarceration... Two people stuck together by a pole... Patients with ticking time bombs... Nothing is too difficult for them...

 

Thank you... Now cure me...

 

I do know when a man is good-looking... but nothing in me jumps... No clutching of the stomach or anything... 

No palpitations... No heart quickening... No breathlessness... No wheezing... Coughing or sneezing... Nothing... They should do a study on me...

 

Gee thanks!

Anyway back to Tyler...

Tyler does seem to have a lot of Close Encounters of the Model Kind... 

Maybe these models are stimulating him... And when I say stimulate... I hope it's his mind... with intellectual discourse on stuff like Art... the Renaissance or something...

It could be other forms of stimulation too... Who knows... 

Hey I read story books... I know what goes on in the bedroom... I'm not totally clueless...  

Yeah... Like Jon Snow... inexperienced I may be but it's not like I know nothing... 

In the books I read... and they're not romance books... they're crime stories and thrillers... but in between the sheets... the sheets of the book... pages of the book... there are things the protagonist and their love interest do.... 

which I usually skip as I can't really picture it in my mind... like how it's done.. cause it sounds really uncomfortable and difficult and like maybe you need strong knees or be a gymnast or something... 

 

My reaction exactly, Tyler, to all those "scenes" in the books...

Oh wait... Or is that the reaction to my 'don't-want-bedroom-cowabunga' prattle?

  

Hmm, I realize, I not only should feel a little embarrassed admitting those things said above... but I also should never have even written them down...

Editor: Ya think!

Oh well...

ANYWAY! 

Sorry... where was I? 

Oh yeah... me not being clueless and this man I can't stop thinking about... 

and the women... 😔

 who maybe Lady Marmalade him with their sexy “coucher avec moi”.... 

and he maybe going, “Oui, ma belle”.... 

Fun Fact : I never bothered to learn what the phrase means.... Have heard the song... but didn't know the meaning... 

Then Tyler's friend, Colton, mentioned it at a Paris con once... saw Tyler's reaction...

So I looked it up, and that's how I learnt the meaning too... 

Yes. I know using the word “Fun” in front of the word “Fact” in no way makes it fun or even remotely interesting... 

Wait... Is that why you learnt French, Tyler?  

So that someone can coucher you...

Why can't you just eat the marmalade, Tyler... 

Why do you need the lady too... 

Ok, when you pull your Derek Hale on me, Tyler, I know I've upset you... I'm sorry... And yes it's perfectly normal to apologize to a gif when your words might have the potential to upset it...

 

Look I get it... Anything said in French is sexy... And it seems that everyone should want the coucher thing...

Tell me, I mean, I don't want to know cause it will be painful to know... but tell me... do they romance you with French, Tyler... 

Make crepes for you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.... like they do in the movies and books... 

Well, they can s'il vous plait* the crepe out of you, Tyler... But it's not gonna make me like it...

I hate crepes! 

Actually I don't hate crepes... I could never hate food.... Just hate the sexy woman making crepes for my crush...  

Actually hate is a strong word...  I try not to hate people much... 

Let's just say, I strongly don't like her... and her beauty... 

Why wasn't I born a sexy croissant too??? 

 

The exact look on my face when I see photos of Tyler with so many beautiful women and all the gifs of his romantic scenes...

 

I'm sorry for what I wrote when I was hungry... 

It's 2am and thinking of Tyler and Paris, suddenly made me crave... 

No, not you, Tyler... Croissants!

 As I sit here contemplating... I'm thinking of croissants... 

"Cause life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses"... or so Simple Plan says...  

 

Are you thinking of croissants too, Tyler??? 

Or are you tired of my long ramblings... 

I'm going with “thinking of croissants”..

 

I like the fully loaded croissants... And hate that there are no good croissant makers in my small town...

Anyway, I'm not a total monster... It's not like I want you, Tyler... 

I really don't... 

    

I'm sensing disbelief, Hrithik gif.

 

I don't seek love and romance... 

Because more often than not, I think men sing “All my loving I will send to you... All my loving... Darlin' I'll be true”... on the phone with you... 

While waiting for the woman they're cheating on you with.... to finish getting ready in the bathroom... that may or may not include a bathroom selfie...

 

I agree... Very bad...

I have trust issues because I've seen people in seemingly happy relationships... People I have admired for their loving partnership... caught cheating.. 

It's kinda hard to have faith in love and romance when you read things like this...

Anyway, I've read some fans on social media saying they want Tyler... Wishing they could meet him and marry him... 

I don't... 

Actually it's a testament to the person he is that they want to marry him... Because normally we like an actor or singer for their looks or their work... 

Maybe like the way they portray a certain character... or the songs they sing... 

But don't really want to be with them in real life... 

It has always been that way for me too... 

It's why all my likes never turned into crushes... 

 

Yes Dr. Reid... Good advice... Just be yourself... always... 

 

I once liked an actor... Not a crush but I used to think he was hot and enjoyed watching all his movies... He was brooding and cool like Derek Hale in those movies, which was where I saw the appeal I guess.... 

Then I found a gif of him in a movie in which he shot a scene that I consider a bit tasteless... It's x-rated... And I think it was a spoof kind of movie... Although thankfully he still had his clothes on in that scene... 

I realize he's an actor and that it doesn't reflect him... That he did the scene as the director instructed or the script entailed... but his “hot” factor did decrease a little for me....

I'm so getting lecture vibes from this Tyler Clark Kent gif.... 

I'm sorry... I know I'm being judgemental.... Can't help it.... 

It's like people may think I'm a nice person when they meet me... cause you know sometimes I can do smiles well... 

Then they spend a month getting to know me and wish they didn't say Hi after that smile... cause it's a month of knowing me they can't wipe from their minds...

Yes... Probably how you would feel meeting me, Tyler... An encounter you wish you could erase from your mind too...

I'm sorry... I don't do this people thing well...

But for the fans to want to be with Tyler in real life... It shows how much they like his real life personality... as much as the character he plays...

For me personally, I like the non-destructive way he lives his life... and the positive message he shares (whether or not it's PR as some haters claim... but at least he's not sharing messages of hate or judgement)...

I'm also the weird fan who doesn't dream about meeting him one day... at a con or even on the street somewhere... especially if he's with his significant other...  

Although the fans who have met him say he's wonderful... and almost everyone who has had the chance to meet him has enjoyed their experience... and had nothing but nice things to say about him... 

But still... I don't want to meet him... 

Although if I do accidentally run into him... I might just politely thank him for being my inspiration to lose weight... Wish him well... Then walk away... 

I won't even ask for a selfie... Poor guy is probably tired of photos... 

I do hope though that if he has the urge to throw up after I tell him... that he's my one and only celebrity crush... that he would do it in the privacy of his room... or at least after I have walked away..

Mostly I'm afraid that I may be the one to throw up from the excitement... Or worse faint and fall on top of him...

Which would be scary... embarrassing... and disgusting... I may even be subjected to litigation... 

So yes... I'm staying away from him... Don't want to scar him for life... Also, I can't afford the legal fees...

 

Wait... Is this you practicing for your testimony during the trial, Tyler? 

“Look, Your Honour... She smashed me... Bones cracked... Face whacked... I need help"...

One charming smile from him... and no lawyer would be able to save me... Even if it was John Grisham... 

I won’t be able to rainmaker myself out of it, that's for sure..

Man, I miss Grisham's books... Wish I had time to re-read them....

A quick recommendation: If you're on the hunt for books, read John Grisham's The Rainmaker... The movie was ok but the book was so much better... It was not only exciting... and fun to read... but it was also touching in parts... 

Sorry... Don't glare at me, Tyler... Forgot this was not a Book Club post...

 

Anyway, even if meeting Tyler sounds like fun... I'd rather keep to myself the fantasy of what I imagine him to be...  

Because after all, most of the celebrities we are crushing on, are just dreams... 

Nothing but dreams... A fantasy of what we imagine and want them to be... 

Also his lifestyle as shared by his friends.... isn't exactly the lifestyle I'm into... He's free to live his life, of course... It just isn't my thing... 

Which is perfectly fine... Because some women do enjoy that kind of lifestyle... and would gladly party with him all of the time... all day and all of the night...  

Although to be fair... I don't really know what he's into... Maybe he enjoys it... Maybe it's a job... Maybe he's helping out a friend... Maybe he's just relaxing and having fun... Maybe he would rather be somewhere else... Who knows....   

On the other hand, some may find my prudish, stay-at-home lifestyle a bore... and judge me harshly for it...

Which is why I sometimes don't really get this crush I have on him... It's like I don't want him... so why am I crushing on him... 

I don't get why he has such a hold on me.... 

But what I do know is.... having a crush on someone I don't know in real life is exhausting and painful... 

 

Put on a shirt, Derek! Sheesh.... 

Yeah... I don't really get why sometimes...

 

Although I wouldn't mind having conversations with him... 

I once watched a video of his panel during the convention... and he was talking to his co-star Tyler Posey while the moderator was translating and explaining their words in French... 

And I was so engrossed with the story he was telling Posey... I couldn't hear the words but the way he was telling the story was so mesmerizing with all the gestures he was making... 

Wishing I could have been the recipient of the story he was recounting... It seemed like such an intriguing tale... 

So see... Nothing salacious at all... I just want to hear him talk... Preferably shirt on... not off...

Yeah I would happily hear him talk... especially if it was accompanied by the cake he baked for Bitsie... Dough-less pizza that his friends say he makes... Those avocado with peanut butter he likes to eat...  

Tyler mentioned in an interview that he liked “adding peanut butter to his chocolate shake”... I was like seriously!!! I think I screamed... My mom was like.. “What... What happened”...

I was like, “Tyler likes chocolate and peanut butter”... She goes, “So???!!!”... 

I start the above overly excited Stiles reaction... telling my mom chocolate and peanut butter, that's my go-to waffles flavor... Every time.... Every single time I order waffles... From the time... well... from the time I discovered waffles... That's my waffles thing... 

Now I discovered they sell chocolate and peanut butter in a jar... And my life is now complete... Eating bread is fun again... 

People may say “Eating this ain't helping your weight loss goals, girly”... but I still persevere... 

  

Exactly how I ignore them too and continue eating... 

 

Hey life is to be enjoyed... Don't diet me...

So anyway... my mom thinks there's something wrong with me...

You would think there's something wrong with me too, don't you, Tyler? 

 

I would try to disagree with Tyler's gif but probably not...  

 

So anyway the study of my jealousy when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin... 

Look... I get jealous when my mom gives the cheesecake she had baked, which I thought was for me, to someone else.... 

Like how could she bake for someone else... I'm her daughter...  

While I look mournfully at the cheesecake going to someone else's house.... 

And my mom doesn't get why I spent the whole day pouting just because she made cheesecake for someone else... 

Sometimes I wonder if my mom ever thinks... of all the daughters she could have had... why did she get me...

   

Exactly how my mom feels too I guess...

 

Sometimes I let the darkness take over... 

Then picture myself being invisible, so I could stalk my crush and his girlfriend having a romantic date... 

I could throw gum at her, hoping it sticks to her hair and she would have to spend the rest of the date with bubblegum hair... 

Hey it's unique... He might like it... She can thank me later... 

Or ring the fire alarm when they lean in for a kiss...  

 

Is that a “I'm smiling but I think you're crazy” look I'm getting from you, Tyler? 

Or is that look saying, “I think you're cute”?

I'm going with cute... I'm a glass full kind of person...

 

Would I actually do all this even if I had the power of invisibility... like the Invisibility Cloak??? 

Sabotage his date... Hope they never want to see each other again... 

Of course not... I'm not that evil... even if my writing says otherwise... 

I would sit at the corner of the restaurant, hug a garlic bread and cry... 

 

For those going through a break-up, especially one from a long-term relationship, I send warm hugs to you... 

If a crush on a complete stranger can make me feel such pain and heartache... 

I cannot imagine the feeling when it's with someone you have build a life with... 

So my heart goes out to you... I hope you find comfort for your pain and the willpower to move on... 

I guess the many reasons why I'm grateful to have never been in a relationship... 

I don't think I can handle the breakup that would inadvertently come... from being with someone like me... who has the personality of the wicked witch of the sewage... 

 

Sorry.... "sewage" was too much, wasn't it, Damon?

 

Cause just having a crush has been painful... Hate feeling all broken inside...  

Or waking up in the middle of the night worried and anxious.... knowing that due to the time difference... things will be revealed when I'm asleep... 

Like a wedding engagement, perhaps... 👀  

 

Yeah you will be happy, I know... I will be too, eventually... just need to get over the sorrow first...

We already wake up to scary stuff on the net... like how the moon is slowly drifting away from the Earth at a rate of 3.8cm per year... 

Hmmm, guess even the moon hates me...

So I could do with less scary, stressful stuff to read... especially about Tyler's love life... which feels like reading all the saddest novels rolled into one... All the Catherine Cookson... and Charles Dickens... combined...

 

My feelings too, kitty... my feelings too...

I ain't saying, "Please sir can I have some more", that's for sure...    

 

This jealousy too has made me do some things I'm not proud of... What I consider unhealthy behavior... like stalking gossip sites.... Worse... Stalking his family's social media... and his presumed girlfriend's IG... just to catch a glimpse of him...

Then worry my colleagues will accidentally catch me looking at her photos...

Explaining to them that I'm just stalking my celebrity crush's presumed gf's page.... is probably not going to make their estimate of me better...

So all in all... I do feel like a mess sometimes...

 

Sorry, Tyler... 

 

I do pray for forgiveness every night before I sleep... and for the strength to stop feeling this way...

The wisdom to realize that all the speculation was taking a toll on my mental health... That I shouldn't be so invested in the life of someone I don't know personally.... or be jealous of his personal life... or even care about it... 

I guess that's the problem of having a crush, you do things you wouldn't normally do... I've seen many willingly change themselves or be something they're not, just for their crush... 

I know I wouldn't... I can never be something I'm not... Like I'm not going to pretend to like sports just because he does... 

I'm not into sports... or video games... or will ever be... As I said before, I haven't even installed games on my phone... 

Although I have watched Football World Cups... but mostly because of my family... And I've sat through Badminton matches if it's my country in the Finals or if Lee Chong Wei is playing... just to cheer my fellow country-folk on... 

 

And you thought only Forrest could do the running thing… Pretty sure, someone shouted, "Run, Derek, Run"... 

Editor: Cheesy... 

Sorry...  

 

Of course if it's Tyler Hoechlin doing the sports thing... the running and stuff... I would watch every game... 

Coffee after coffee... Snacks after snacks... Just to keep myself awake... 

Like my eyes would be glued... I would unglue it just to blink... and eat...

 

I'm serious, Tyler... Anything for you...

I may not be into sports but I do have this crazy fascination to watch people's reaction when a team wins especially if it's a team I'm rooting for... 

Nothing beats the joy on their faces... Can't help feeling sorry for the losing team though... 

But other than that.. Sports isn't really my thing... 

So I'm not going to suddenly force myself to get interested in sports just because my crush likes them... 

 

Wait... I'm sensing sarcasm...

With my crush as my  inspiration... I have become more active and have started doing workouts...

But I would like to think it's still not changing myself for my crush... 

It's just improving myself health wise... Becoming a workout junkie only because I realize how fun it is...

Man... I'm so clever at taking pathetic whining, of a crush and his girl, and my drama queen feelings, to whole new levels... It's a skill I tell you... A skill...  

What! I'm proud of my achievements... whining takes skills...

Look., those gossip sites, the fount of all knowledge on Tyler's love life... who through intense research... and diligent investigative skills (their words not mine)... have come to the conclusion that he's seeing someone...

 

My reaction too, Gru...

I do want to be happy for him... Which would be the decent and moral thing to do...

Be happy that he's happy... and has found someone who makes him happy... 

Like everyone is as happy as Pharrell... and clapping their hands without a roof... because happiness is the truth or something...

But I wasn't happy and didn't feel like clapping my hands... I was depressed... 

I was feeling pretty down... moping around the house the whole day... until my mom asked, "Are you hungry?"... 

Which I guess is how I look when I'm hungry... hmmm good to know... 

Like I walked around with a pout... the entire day... Had no mood for anything...

I didn't feel like smiling... even when I was eating food that tasted really good..

 

What??? I still ate... I mean I was hungry... 

I was sad... NOT stupid...Why would I waste good food?

 

Sigh.... Sometimes I wish I wasn't the way I am... 

That I was beautiful and skinny... attractive... funny... outgoing... active... badass... socially active... know how to party and have a good time... with an entertaining and amusing personality... 

 

How I feel too sometimes...

That I'm someone interesting and fun to be around... cute...

Like the type of women he hangs out with... 

Unfortunately... Even Wednesday from The Addams Family would think I'm boring... 

I'm the White Walker sunbathing on the beach... That's how interesting I am... 

 

Imagine getting this smile on a close-up basis every day... Sigh...

 

I'm boring, annoying, and socially awkward, as well as loud and obnoxious, and a prude.... who gets hives at the thought of wearing anything that shows too much skin... 

I wish I was the type of women with the body to wear sexy, alluring clothes... or be the type of person who wants to wear them...

 

But actually looking at the clothes I do wear now, I would be grateful if I could just wear clothes that match... instead of the green blouse and red skirt that I wore to work the other day that earned me a frown from my colleague...

And it's not the first time I've done this... Won't be the last... 

But am I going to change this uncanny ability I have to commit one fashion faux pas after another... probably not... 

I always believe that we should wear things we are comfortable in... and to never let other people's opinions sway us.. 

It doesn't matter whether we look good or beautiful in what we're wearing... as long as we feel beautiful wearing it... that's all that matters...

Yes... What you're wearing is perfect, Tyler... 

I may or may not have had a dream… or two...  

I don't know why clothes have to match anyway... 

A blouse is a blouse... A skirt a skirt... Why should their colours match? 

I don't get fashion sometimes...  

 

Exactly the mind voice my colleagues send me...

 I tell them that I invent my own fashion... 

They look at me like they wish they could fry that fashion 

with some veggies and call it falafel.  

 

But then again, I wouldn't change myself for anyone... I like my life... 

So what if people call me weird... or dull... 

The woman who enjoys doing trivia, especially if it's movie related... 

Likes collecting fridge magnets... 

And writes Birthday or Christmas greetings on gift cards... with not just cute stickers... but motivational quote stickers too... 

 I am what I am...

And no guy is going to make me change myself the way Sandy changed herself for Danny Zuko... just so he could sing, "I've got chills" to her...

Or make me do things I don't want to do... 

Also I know for some people, a crush means they want that person... but as I mentioned earlier, I don't actually want Tyler... 

Hmmmm... I'm sensing scepticism... but I'm serious... I'm the girl who doesn't believe in love and romance... 

I even wrote a whole blog post about it... with a list of benefits that come from being single... from health, hygiene and economic standpoints....  

(yeah not sure why I had to link to the blog post)...

I sometimes forget my blog isn't my thesis...

Maybe I'm just happy to have these feelings for the first time ever so I know I'm not some android manufactured in a lab... growing up without having any feelings for any guy I've met in real life...   

 

 The luckiness of Bitse to have earned this fond gaze and loving smile from Tyler... Oh to be Bitsie... 

 

In the past, I may have found some actors or singers cute... 

Stanned them for a while... But then nothing I would call a crush... 

I just liked looking at their face... Admired their talent... Liked the role they played or songs they sang... 

Some would call them dessert for the eyes… For me, it’s more like sushi… Enjoyable to eat and no guilty feeling that the slice of cake you obliterated within minutes, gives you…

 

You know, Damon... I'm getting the "we don't care" vibes from your gif...

 

Some of them lie forgotten.... Some have become "Somebody I used to Know".... 

Some have even come to the stage of me thinking... what did I ever see in them... which I hope never happens with Tyler...

Most of the time, I just have sisterly feelings for the celebrities I'm a fan of... 

I see articles about them dating or getting married... and I feel nothing...   

 

My reaction exactly, Tyler, when I read this actor is dating that actress.... 

with the dozen articles of that single actor being off the market.... 

And I'm like, "Ohhhhh he's with her? Hmmm Interesting... I wonder what my mom is cooking today"...

I read just rumors of Tyler dating, and I cry myself to sleep... 

Ok maybe I don't cry... But I feel really awful... 

Like I can't eat... Ok maybe I ate... My mom cooked...  

 

You know I'm seriously getting a "I pity you" vibes from this photo here...

 

Those I used to be fond of, before... when I looked them up and saw their real-life personality... or the things they said or did... it was an instant turn-off... 

Then I realized that what made them attractive was the writing and the direction in the shows and movies I liked... 

It's different with Tyler though... I love Derek.... Clark.... Maybe even Jack Harper.... 

But what I love more is his real-life personality... 

Just the way he is during interviews, con panels, and behind-the-scenes footage... Although I hope that really is his real-life personality and not an act...

So anyway... I was just casually stanning people... but no crush... 

Until I saw this ray of sunshine.... Mr. Poetry in Motion... My Earth Angel... 

Yeah I listen to a crazy amount of Oldies... Also my mom has her Johnny Tillotson playlist on... while doing her baking... 

I think she's baking jam tarts... yayyy me...

Hmmmm Where was I??? 

Sorry... It's jam tarts.. 

Pity I'm on a diet... I only ate 5... 

My mom asked me to taste, I couldn't say no to her... 

Ok maybe it was 10... or more... I lost count after 10...   

 

What! It's called being a filial daughter... 

Anyway Tyler Hoechlin.... Sigh*... 

I added the “sigh” for effect...

Editor: NOBODY CARES!

 

I wish this laughter was for me... 

 

And his mesmerizing eyes... beautiful hazel, green eyes... 

Imagine how it would feel having those eyes look at you... up close... 

I admire the strength of the fans who take photos with him... 

How are they able to control themselves... with those magnetic honey-lemon eyes gazing at them...

Look, I know it's crazy to have a crush on a guy I've never met, basing my entire crush on interviews and photos, and other people's opinions...  

Maybe it's because of all the good things I read about him... 

His friendly, pleasant personality... His kindness to his fans... 

Maybe because I presume his character a lot... which he may be in real life... or may not be... I wouldn't know... It isn't my business to know....

Source : @mandileaphotos

But I'm hoping one day I'll get over this crush... and can go back to dreaming about my mom's cooking and how it's going to taste... 

Especially when my brother visits, cause you know she's going to go overboard with 7 or 8 dishes... 

And maybe two types of chicken dish, one spicy, one sweet and sour, but hey.... when I get to eat it too... my mother can go overboard as much as she wants...   

Fun Fact: Sometimes I wonder if my mom wishes she could send a Howler when my brother eats someone else's cooking... Worst saying he enjoyed them.... 

You son of a Took.... How dare you eat someone else's urende*.... I am so disappointed in you... Your sister is facing an inquiry at home and it's entirely your fault... If your mouth misbehaves again, I will take you away from ever dining at home... 

Hello dear, how are you.... (that one to my sister-in-law)...

*Urende... It's an Indian thing... A dish my mom used to cook... It's a delicious ghee ball, made with icing sugar, raisins and cashew nuts... it's sweet... sinful... sweet... did I mention it was sweet?

 

My reaction when my mom cooks.... 

 

Because I used to mostly dream about food... Occasionally money... but mostly food... Because food is way more tasty and satisfying... 

I mean I don't know how men taste... Haven't had the occasion or even the urge... to taste men... 

I imagine they would taste salty because of the sweat... and the grime... and be so unhygienic... like I'm gagging just typing this... 

I pity all the men and women who have had to do those kinds of scenes for their movie roles... 

Like poor Jill who was forced to lick Tyler Hoechlin's abs on Teen Wolf... 

I say “forced” but she did say in later interviews that she enjoyed it... Not sure why...

Probably enjoyed it so much, she decided to date him so she could do more of that in private and at home... 

Like how you can now shop from home... so she wanted to lick his abs from home... 

Like maybe it's some unspoken rule in Hollywood... Once thou has licked thy co-star's abs, thou art allowed to start a courtship with the said fellow... 

I mean they were just rumored to have been dating... Nothing ever said publicly... 

They may have dated... been friends... hooked up... or just licked ice-cream... who the kunafa knows... 

Although they did look pretty cosy in all the photos of them together... 

 

Yes my face exactly studying all those photos... 

 

I hate photos! 

And camera... and people taking photos of Tyler and those beautiful women... 

I need help, don't I? 

Sorry, Tyler... 

Sorry, Tyler's parents... 

Sorry, “those beautiful women”... 

I'm not really angry with you or envy your beauty... I just recently discovered kunafa... so I'm like on a sugar high... Maybe also because of the jam tarts I ate being a good daughter and all...

I know I should not be thinking of food since I'm on this weight loss journey that's currently going well and the weighing scale has been kind with numbers going down instead of up... 

But at times, I do wish I could eat all the pizza I want and not worry... That thin-crust means zero calories...

So I guess dreaming of Tyler is safer.... 

It makes me stick to my eating healthy and workout routines... cause I too want a slim figure like his... 

While I imagine what it would be like to put my arms around that slim waist (just as a scientific observation... I'm into science you see)... 

I know it's going to be difficult to achieve... but hey a girl can dream... 

I mean dream about achieving the slim figure... and not my arms around him.... 

Wait.. Is that you trying to tell me you want to put your hands round my body too... Like round my throat to get me to stop rambling about you and your waist? 

Got it! Moving on... 

So anyway... At least I now know that hey I CAN have a crush... I'm human! There's nothing wrong with me... I don't need to get myself examined at a lab somewhere... 

My heart can beat for a man... 

Man... That was so cheesy... Or I should say fromage-y?

But then again I love cheese... so cheesy it is... 

 

When even a dog isn't impressed...

Seriously... I don't even know what I'm writing... Like other people have slip of the tongue... I have slip of the brain... although the tongue slipping does happen too.

I'm sorry, Tyler for the misfortune of having someone like me have a crush on you...

Unless you're a douche in real life... then you probably deserve having me for a fan... 

 

I'm kidding!

Anyway bouts of jealousy aside... I do want Tyler to be happy...   

Maybe it's just the way I am... My personality... I like my independence so not really into love and commitment... or dating... 

Most of the time, I like being alone... 

Although I'm blessed to enjoy the best of both worlds... I can be alone and enjoy the solitude and the silence... being alone with my thoughts... 

I can't eat alone though... or go to the movies alone... I don't even like to shop alone... but I have changed a little... Now I prefer to shop alone as I can do it quicker.. Go in grab my things then leave... 

But when shopping for fun stuff or clothes, yeah I prefer company... 

So yes... Alone is nice... But I also don't mind when I'm surrounded by people... especially those I'm close with...

Tyler may be the type who likes being with people... Who likes going out... Dating... Enjoy having someone in his life... 

As it's been said, lonely is a man without love...  

For some, it's no women they cry... 

 I mean I thought the sports will be enough... Apparently not... 

I do understand from the songs my mom listened to as a kid in the 60s and got me to listen to also, especially this particular one from Cliff Richard... that there would come a time in a man's life when he wants to say "Goodbye to the Sams and say Hello to the Samanthas"...

So I guess for Tyler, the time is now... 

But to give him credit, even when he had a woman in his life, he still spent time with his parents and family... and never said goodbye to his Ian, JR, or Tanner... 

 

Source : Fantasy Events, Nemeton Con

 

Something that writer of that song could have taken the time to learn.... Oh well maybe it was different in the 60s... you could only choose one...

Tyler has excellent time management skills and knows how to prioritize both... making time for both... 

Editor: What are you writing... His performance review... or a referral? 

Man, I wish I could just issue him a memo to remain single: “You are hereby instructed to keep your heart clear of any attraction... to prevent unauthorised breaking of this crazy potato's heart... the blogger who has the hots for you..... 

It's within your purview to look at beautiful women to gauge companionship value... but you are strongly advised to refrain... 

Do continue your perusal of sports, movies and bikes.... You are also encouraged to keep in mind that your baseball bat requires all your love and attention”... 

Sigh.... But right now, I would settle for just being able to issue a PR to see him.  

Sorry... 

So cheesy misuse  of song lyrics aside... since Tyler says he wants a family of his own one day... 

In time... yes... I do hope Tyler finds someone who will love him unconditionally, be devoted to him and make him happy... and vice versa...

 

Yes, Tyler... date... marriage... anything you want.... 

 

To sit beside him at the beach… Enjoying the sun saying, "so long, farewell, goodbye" as it goes off to bed... or "hello, good morning" as it rises to greet the day... 

The feelings of envy may drown me… But I do hope that enjoying the same view of the ocean and the storm gathering at the horizon… the sunrise and the sunset... with my book as my only companion… will be enough to satisfy me…

I hope he finds contentment in his life... His own "love of his life" and have a happy married life... with children to call his own...  

Cause that will be the day the music dies... 

I'm kidding!

I do want him to be happy... I'm the type who wishes only joy and happiness for my family and friends, or the people I like... 

Never feeling envious of their success, achievements or their happy love life... I even pray they achieve them... 

So I hope he too enjoys longevity and joy in his marriage.... The kind of love and understanding, and always supporting each other that his parents have... or so I assume from their social media posts... 

May he be blessed with that in his life... 

A marriage filled with joy, love and laughter, and special moments...

Occasionally, although I feel guilty for being slightly stalker-ish... I go to his parents' social media pages to see their posts just for a glimpse of him... 

And saw one of him... when he flew from Vancouver, where he's filming his Superman series, to California, for his father's Birthday and I was filled with feelings of awwwww that he did that for his family. 

And I thought of my brother coming down as soon as the borders opened (post-pandemic) to take me phone shopping... since he knew I had been suffering with my cracked phone for months... I love that my brother did that for me... 

And I love that no matter how exhausting filming a series may be... that Tyler did that for his family... 

His close bond with his family is something I find so relatable.... and the thing I love most about him...

On a side note, I also got excited watching him dance with his sister... 

And enjoyed that country song they were dancing to... and I was trying to capture the words so I could Google the song... and all I got was south pole drinking with a string looking thong, which I doubt is the lyrics... 

And worst when I googled those words, some weird photos related to that word cropped up (apparently there's a song called the thong song.. who knew... people write about weird stuff and call it a song)... 

And now I'm worried if my mom saw my computer screen before I could close it..

 

I'm worried... and he's laughing...

 

So anyway, I do hope that Tyler will find someone who makes him happy... 

Be his Kinder Bueno... The wind beneath his wings... 

His sunshine... The peanut to his butter... The Jack to his Daniels... The pea to his pod... The rum to his pirate... The knock-knock to his who’s there...

Editor: CUT IT OUT!

Sorry... Got a little carried away...

Someone he can watch and discuss movies with... or books... if he's into those sorts of things...

Someone he can recite cheesy movie lines to... and who recites it to him...  

And since he's big on family traditions... someone he can create his own special family traditions with.... 

Someone he can count on when he's going through tough moments and need someone to cheer him up and make him feel better... 

Someone he can feel comfortable sharing all his thoughts, and past actions, his triumphs even his regrets... because he knows she won't judge him but support him, make him feel better, be his rock and source of inspiration.... 

He has mentioned in interviews that he sometimes has long conversations with some of his former co-stars, family and friends... 

So I hope he does find someone he can have long conversations with... where they share their dreams and aspirations... goals in life... while encouraging and motivating each other... 

Wise advice, Clark...

 

Talking with family and friends, is fine.... but nothing beats talking with a life partner, someone who's going to be there for you, through the good times and bad... Looking after each other... and being each other's strength and comfort... 

He mentioned playing sports as the thing that makes him feel better when he's down... 

I can relate because for me right now, the thing that makes me feel better is a good book... a movie... or my writing... 

 

You're right, Tyler... Forgot about the food...

 

Hopefully one day.... or maybe he already has found the person and just too shy or private to share it publicly... it will be a significant other, a special someone in his life... who makes him feel better when he's down... 

Just by being there to give him a hug or a cuddle... 

A shoulder to rest his head...  

A lap he can lay his head on while she eases his worries... 

Like this scene from Season 1 of Superman & Lois, where Clark Kent comes home tired and lies his head on Lois Lane's lap... Making it even more romantic was that the idea came from Tyler, or so Bitsie said on social media...

Of course, I did get jealous thinking of all the people whose laps Tyler has laid his head on in real life... which is probably how he got the idea for the scene... 

I mean I should be happy for him and his head.... But I would prefer him to just lie his head on his motorbike seat while hugging his baseball bat.... 

I mean I totally understand the glaring, Tyler... 

But remember this.. 

Those bikes you used to love when you were younger... All that smooth leather... 

Will a woman's lap be as cozy? 

As comfortable?

No... 

So please go back to your bikes, Tyler... 

Ok, I'm kidding... 

I did like the scene though... Superman he may be... Out there doing all this macho, heroic stuff... but at home, he's just a regular guy, comfortable and at ease in the presence of his wife... 

It shows what a happy marriage with two people who are comfortable with each other looks like...

 

(pout)

 

This happy photo was taken for a scene in the show.... but I do hope that one day he will have kids of his own... and share this same, happy look with the woman... lucky enough to be called his wife... 

I promise, I won’t let feelings of jealousy prevent me from wishing them well...

Anyway, love, comfort, romance, happy conversations... the feeling of contentment, pleasure and joy that comes from being with that person...  I reckon... and you know I mean business when I use the word “reckon”... that's something everyone hopes for...

Maybe I'm just being overly sentimental... And things like that do not happen in real life... 

Also I don't know if all those things I wrote above about being with your special someone.. is considered romantic... corny... or vomit-inducing..

I wouldn't know as I've never experienced it...

Although I would like to think all that I described above is what being in a relationship would be like... or at least what I would like it to be...

My friends don't share their love life with me... and I definitely wouldn't want them to... me being awkward and all... blushing when couples display excessive PDA in front of me... 

Or when I see my colleagues dating... Like I ship this one guy with another work bestie of mine... and maybe they're dating right now... I certainly hope so...

But I just feel awkward when I see them together... and run the other way... But can have long conversations with them when they're alone...

As for Tyler, I do hope he finds someone who will give him all the love and romance in the world... better than any rom-com... 

I used to be a fan of a singer.... Not a celebrity crush but used to stan the guy.... 

Now I see him with his life partner and I feel happy for him... So maybe it would be the same for me when I see Tyler happy one day with his love... 

Maybe that will help me get over him... Because it would be disrespectful to have a crush on a married man... 

Editor: As if him not being married now makes this crush any less weird or even acceptable.

Me: (glaring menacingly) at my editor, cutely and sexily, like Tyler....

Editor: Making a disgusted choking sound... 

My Editor seriously lacks good judgment...   

 

Look…. I feel guilty crushing on Roarke because he’s married… I mean he’s in the pages of my storybooks, the In Death series… But still.... married…. 

So no thinking ohhh Roarke is so sexy… He’s Eve’s man! 

So when Tyler officially becomes another woman’s man… I will cease this crush...

However, I do suspect that if it ever came to the point I was over Tyler... the cause of it would probably be painful...

As I am already constantly worried I will find out things about him that will crush me... 

A colleague told me there's a Chinese saying that when you find out things about someone you love... like skeletons in the closet... it's called “your house collapsed”... Well my house won't only collapse, it will bury me in it...

Sorry for being so melodramatic, Tyler... It was a long day... 

And I was looking for some chocolates to make me feel better then realized I had already eaten the last piece of chocolate yesterday.... 

I hate it when my stomach finishes my chocolate stash!

 

Sorry... I really love chocolates...

 

One day I know I won't feel the same way about Tyler anymore.. Cause he's just a celebrity crush... Feelings not built on anything solid; having never met the guy... 

I should only start worrying when I have a crush on someone I meet in real life... Maybe for his personality, his kindness or the things we have in common...  

I would be awful at having a crush... I already don't know what to say most of the time... I always think of a perfect retort like 10 seconds after the person has walked away.. 

 

This is my usual "don't know what to say " reaction too...

 

So if there was a guy in real life I was crushing on... I would be worst than a total mess... 

Awkward grins... Grunting cause I can't get words out of my mouth... Smiling stupidly... Trying to impress him... End up maybe disgusting him... 

Yeah a total mess...  

 

Might even do this...

 

Pretty sure he won't reciprocate my crushy feeling... And just think of me as that annoying woman trying to catch his attention... 

And having to see him every day would probably be painful... 

It's already painful seeing bts shots of Tyler on Superman and Lois being sweet, friendly and cute... But I don't have to face him every day... 

So I really hope I never meet anyone in real life who makes me feel this way... Especially if that person is in a relationship... 

Just seeing photos of Tyler with any beautiful woman.... 

Doing nothing much... Just standing next to each other... Sometimes his arm around her... makes me sad... 

I pout a little on my bed... Sometimes I hug my pillow... Maybe it's how I earned my status as the grumpy one... 

It's not unusual for him to be loved by anyone... 

It's not unusual for him to have fun... 

But when I see him with all those beautiful women... It's not unusual to see me cry...

P.S Nailed that cheesy use of lyrics in your post challenge...

Editor: I seriously think you need help... 

 

I'm guessing Tyler agrees with my Editor... 

I'm only grateful that Tyler is a private person when it comes to relationships and doesn't post make-out videos or photos like some couples do... 

Maybe there are such photos or videos available on gossip sites dedicated to him if I look hard enough... Those who crawl through other people's social media to find a glimpse of Tyler and his women... 

Hence me praying every night for the strength and willpower to stay away from those sites... 

But even if I succumb I can pout in the comforts of my bedroom... 

However, if I had a crush on a real life person... the romantic PDA I see is not going to be easy... 

And I'm really bad at Poker... People can guess the cards I have from my facial expression... Zis girl has a straight flush... 

“Your face gave it away” should be tattooed on my head.... How I lose at Poker... 

So I probably won't be able to keep a straight face and smile, when he says, “Hey... This is my girlfriend” then kisses her... I will probably start sobbing... Awkward.... So I really hope I don't crush in real life...

Yup... Cry..... 

2) Hating his great chemistry with his co-stars... 

I hate Chemistry and Biology and Physics too...

Watching anything Tyler Hoechlin has acted in... whether it's Teen Wolf... Can You Keep a Secret... or Superman and Lois... one thing is clear; he has good chemistry with his co-stars... especially his love interests... 

Although admittedly, from an objective standpoint... I actually liked Braeden for Derek Hale... She's so badass... 

Oh man... did I just break the keys on my laptop by hitting it too hard... and no jealousy has nothing to do with me maybe spoiling the keyboard... 

Remembering that this man and this woman kissed... a lot... 

Maybe even touched each other...

She lay in his arms... She touched his chest... He rubbed her arms... There were no clothes involved... 

 

Editor: Seriously Crys... Stop... or I swear... I will lock your fridge...

Alrighty then... Moving on... So Chemistry...

Fun Fact : I got a really good grade in Chemistry when I was in school...

Editor: Glaring!

I am a weird woman, aren't I?

 

Wait... Are you agreeing with that statement, Tyler... 

(Pout)

 

Anyway... Tyler and his Chemistry, Physics and Biology... 

He has great chemistry with the people he takes photos with at comic-con... 

Or with random fans he meets in public... I see some of the photos and they look like they're dating... Even if it's just normal poses... The chemistry is that good... 

His charm seems to fall on other people... It's like a glow up...

Yeah... I don't know what I'm saying... Apparently saying weird things has become kinda my thing.  

His chemistry is so good... whether it's with people... animals... or a lacrosse stick...  Even with a book that looks so happy peaceful lying there on his lap...  

Good chemistry is the norm for this guy...  

He probably will have great chemistry with a dead log...

I hate chemistry... 

I should have taken the Arts stream and Literature especially as I love books... instead of the Science stream in school...

Yes... This is exactly my happy face as I study this subject called Tyler's chemistry with everyone he acts with... or hangs with... especially all those beautiful women... in a purely scientific, like young Sheldon Cooper, manner... 

While trying to avoid thinking of the physics and biology that probably goes on behind closed doors... cause apparently the only one who doesn't want any biology, physics of chemistry with anyone is me... Other normal humans probably do...

 

Stopping you right there, Tyler, before you tell me I'm weird for not desiring that pulsating chemistry too... 

 

Like that beautiful woman who got to be his kissing partner... during the entire Blind Date Project improv thing he did... Such good chemistry... 

I wish I could fry that chemistry with some potato and sausages and eat it with a salad... I mean I am trying to eat healthy so the salad has to be there.

There are many on Twitter who didn't know it was supposed to be an act and are convinced that it was an actual date... Or maybe it was... who knows what goes on behind the scenes... 

Oh dear... I broke another pen... What excuse shall I give my mom this time??? 

This is probably Tyler's reaction to all my rambling... The need to escape... 

He may have seen reluctant in this gif... but right after this... just right after... 

He did put his arms around her... pull her oh so romantically to him... hold the side of her face and kiss her oh so tenderly... 

And I'm a sucker for men who hold the side of their partner's face in their hands... with a look of so much love and tenderness... before kissing them... 

So yeah I cried a little... then ate pie... 

I could share that really sexy gif of him kissing her here... but then I've already punished myself enough by staring at that kissing gif... then crying... and eating pie... 

So I'm giving my stomach a reprieve... Can't eat pie every time I open this blog now can I?

 

See... surrounded by beautiful women...

 

I've never really hated my looks.... 

I have accepted a long time ago... even from a young age... that I'm not beautiful and will never be beautiful... 

But since I've never had a crush... and there was no one I was thinking about or wanted... or trying to impress... my lack of beauty didn't bother me... 

 

Don't feel sorry for me, Tyler... I'm fine...

People made fun of me... I usually ignored them... Happy to tread my own path... through a forest of bushy hair foliage, tangled branches, winding vines, and spiky thorns...

Until now... Now I wish I was born beautiful... 

But then I realize it's silly to think that way and to always be grateful for the blessings I do have... For the life I lead... and the people in it... who accept me for who I am....

Ok all this rambling may sound pathetic... like I cannot imagine the amount of eye rolling that will happen if those who know me discover this blog of mine...

Especially my sister, who is all loving and kind but think I need help, personality and maturity wise... and reading my blog posts, can you really blame her for feeling that way... but I'm all for embracing my pathetic-ness... 

Look I know I don't own him, but I do gets extreme bouts of jealousy when Tyler laughs with a woman, who are usually always beautiful... 

Like Bitsie... Beautiful, smart and badass...

Cause I look in the mirror and see a toad looking back at me... 

I look like the hag that mixes potions in a dungeon... has a house made of candy... and bake things that are not pie in the oven... 

I even scare kids... Kids look at me with a look of shock, like, “what the Shrek is this”...

Yup... That's how they sometimes run too...

I'm worst than Medusa... People see her and turn to stone... People turn to stone before they see me...

Like conversations with me are that bad...  

Sometimes even I fall asleep when I'm talking...

 

That bad, hey Stiles?

 

I have to admit that I do have the personality of mashed potatoes... 

I wrote that cause I'm craving some potatoes.... 

Oh... Oh... I wonder if I can cajole my mom into making some spicy shepherd's pie for me?

 

Shut up.. It's been a week.. I need cheese...

 

Tyler gets along well with the people he acts with... I guess he's the type who genuinely enjoys talking with people.... Getting to know them... Hanging out with them. 

What I would do to be an extra on the Superman & Lois set.... 

Like I would willingly stand around for hours, painted as a tree... in the background... where the soft tendrils of my hand, painted to look like a branch, gently plays with his hair... 

Too much information????

Don't worry... I was just kidding..... I'm not thin enough to be a tree... 

Maybe I could be a cupboard or a table instead... Wait... Did I say that out loud...

Sorry... I forgot to switch on the “stop being a creep when it comes to Tyler Hoechlin” mechanism in my head...  

CLOIS! 

That's what everyone is talking about now with Superman and Lois...  

Tyler and Bitsie in Superman and Lois... 

Romantic couple of the year... 

Wonderful chemistry...  

With people awwwwing and sharing gifs of all those beautiful romantic Clois scenes.... 

While I go find something to stick needles into... like maybe a potato... and hug that potato... before I put things in and on it and then bake it in the oven... then cry eating that baked potato... 

Man... creamy baked potatoes are so much fun... and so delicious...   

Yes so much fun... and delicious... 😭😒😢  

Sometimes I wish I could be Bitsie in real life so I could have Tyler Hoechlin looking at me like that... 

Like I could happily be Bitsie forever just so I could be besties with Tyler too and hang out with him on a daily basis... 

See his smile every day... and be the source of his laughter too... like Bitsie is....  

Like I could have his phone number and could call him anytime... and send him "whatcha doin'?" messages... 

I would happily be Bitsie... not only for her friendship with Tyler, she's also beautiful, smart and funny... Who wouldn't want to be Bitsie... 

I wouldn't mind being Bitsie forever...

Man that bad huh, Bitsie? 

I know I know... Sometimes I shock myself with the things I say...  

Editor: Crys... I'm disappointed in you... This kind of behavior is unbecoming... I expected better of you...

When even a gif is disappointed in you... 

 

Sorry, Bitsie, I just realized that the prospect of me being you is not exactly one you or your family would endorse... 

This is one Quantum Leap everyone would object to... Even Ziggy would malfunction...

Also, I probably would miss my family so I guess it's a no for me too...

Anyway I guess Tyler looks at everyone like that... 

With family... friends... 

Girlfriends... 😒

Even in photo ops with fans... 

A friendly guy who gets along with everyone and just enjoys being with them....

I like that he makes friends easily with the people he works with... Gets along well with them... on set and off set...  

And remains friends with them... both men and women....

I see so many photos of him with them after working hours... and sometimes years after they've worked together... 

Hanging out at home... Partying together... Going on trips... Attending their wedding... Talking on the phone with them... 

Looking at them with so much affection... 😔

I feel jealous of course but I eat cake to make myself feel better... 

Life is always better with a slice of cake... or two... preferably 5...

P.S.: Word of Caution - You may feel really queasy... and hate your stomach and your mouth... and promise never to eat ever again... after 5 slices of cake... But don’t worry... That feeling will pass and the next time you see cake... you would probably still want it... and maybe even make the same mistake... Life is funny like that...

 

Anyway... Tyler... I guess he's just a friendly guy...  

Unless he met me of course... I wouldn't get the “you're so cute, nice to meet you” look... 

I would get the “Please help me, I think I'm going to throw up... I would rather be eaten by the cookie monster... than spend another moment in this annoying woman's presence... and hear her voice that can cause perpetual indigestion” pained look...

I wish you didn't agree with my above statement so quickly, Tyler Hoechlin gif, but then again I could disgust a snail, so I don't exactly blame you...  

Other people close their eyes during horror movies... 

I close my eyes seeing Tyler make out with a woman on the tv screen... 

Cause me sitting through Tyler's love scenes... is like sitting through a particularly scary horror movie scene... that has creepy dolls trying to kill you... 

And my family look at me and go, "Why are your eyes closed?"... 

I say, "A bug got into my eye"... 

They say, "That explains the tears"... 

Yes... Eyes are red because of the bug... not because I'm seeing that man put his lips on another woman...

Disgusted with me, Tyler? Can't say I blame you... 

Look... You don't know my pain... 

I've experienced all kinds of pain in my lifetime... 

Maybe not the pain of a break-up... cause you know... you need to be in love and in a relationship... to actually break-up.... and my ex is currently my old spoilt TV that lies under my bed because I have no heart to throw it away... I take commitment very seriously...

 

Wait... What did you say, Tyler?

Did you just say, "You're mental"?

Oh well... I guess I am... a little... 

 Also I realize I need to do my part for the environment and recycle my eWaste... That ex of mine needs to go... 

 

Is that a “judging you” look you’re giving me, Tyler... cause you know I will just ignore you...

 

So no break-up pain... But I've had pain from surgeries... I lived with pain for years before my surgery...  

P.S. Yes this is my attempt to make people feel sad and sorry for me... But they might just feel sorry for the people who know me in real life...

Then there's the pain that comes from brushing your teeth so vigorously that you end up hitting your eye with your toothbrush and toothpaste gets in it....

 

My reaction exactly... 

The lizard watching me bathe... unfortunately didn't try to help... 

 

So anyway the toothbrush to the eye punch... 

The eyes sting, you lose your breath for a moment... And the sting remains throughout the day...

Ok maybe not the whole day... but for a period that feels like hours...

It's like the first time you eat wasabi... not knowing any better... 

Thinking it looks like a harmless piece of green gummy paste... like a candy paste... A creamy dessert... 

So you slather it on your sushi... and then you take a big bite... 

And your nose curses you for a thousand years...

Now I'm thinking... imagine a child accidentally eating it....

 

Yeah kid... Be careful of what you put into your mouth... 

Dirt is fine... Wasabi not so much... 

Ok maybe not dirt too....

Sorry not really up to speed on kids' eating rules... 

 

I'm so glad I'm not a parent... 

All the things you have to worry about for your kid... 

Accidentally eating wasabi is probably quite high on the “worried parents” hit list...

So wasabi eating pain aside... Now there's pain from having a celebrity crush...

I hate feelings!

 

Wait... Is that a look of a man in pain from my ramblings, Tyler... 

Cause that explains the same look people give me when I start talking..

Oh well... Hopefully it wasn't wasabi...

 

I watch horror movies and my eyes are wide open although it's usually a big mistake cause I wake up thinking there are monsters under my covers too... 

There is usually something under my covers... It's black... hairy... and scary... 

No... Not a pet.. I don't have a pet... 

It's my thighs... 

Sometimes I look under my blanket, see my thighs and scream... My thighs literally give me a fright every night... 

I guess this Tyler Hoechlin/Derek Hale gif is not impressed by my thighs either... 

Or wait... maybe it's my writing?

So anyway... Horror movie. Eyes open.... 

Tyler's love scenes. Eyes closed....  

I saw how happy Tyler was with Bitsie during their red carpet appearance...

I mean... They were cute... and happy.... and had great chemistry... and I threw my phone and pouted.... Thank goodness for phone covers, eh? 

And my mom wondered why my phone was on the floor... or the bowl of food... Or why that plate was thrown against the wall....

Whenever that happens, I always sheepishly tell my mom, “awww shucks... I'm so clumsy”... while my mom looks at me like I'm an alien kid she had picked out of the garbage bin... 

   

Exactly the look my mom gives me... almost daily actually...

Actually most kids give me this look too... 

when I do my "trying to be funny" thing...

 

But I couldn't tell my mom the truth... She already thinks I'm weird... Can't have her thinking I'm pathetic too, can I?

Also, I'm kinda upset with my mom right now... 

Because the other day, when I was going on and on about Tyler Hoechlin... she said, “I can imagine all his fans being disappointed when he gets married one day”... 

 

Exactly the shocked look I gave her.... silently whispering the word “married?”... Exactly like this... The only difference was my eyes didn't glow... 

Well, maybe they did... Who knows.. I can't see my own eyes, now can I? 

 

That's not funny, ma... 

Me... Me, your daughter... Your first-born... The one you love... I hope... 

I will be disappointed too... I might even wear black to work... And when people ask me who died... I will say, “my dreams and fantasy”...  

I might even lock myself in the room and cry... and not eat...  

I will starve... no matter what you cook... 

Ok maybe I'll eat... but I will be sad... and you wouldn't want that, would you, ma... So please don't use the M word in front of me... 

I would be happy for him of course... that he has found his own Lois Lane.... 

But I would also be sad... I would be happy sad... 

Wait... Do I sound like a 10-year-old?  

Probably doesn't help that my mom texted me the other day, talking about all the problems we are facing in the world... and said, “what next... a hailstorm from the sky?”... 

I texted her back... "Tyler getting married"... and this sad kid gif... 

Because it would be worst than the hail... No more Hale in my dreams... He's a married man... That would be rude...   

 

My mom texted me back... “Good luck to him... Why the long wait... Blessings on him for a happy married life”...

I sent her like 5 or maybe 20 crying gifs in reply... Then called her to say, “How could you do this to me... How could you use the M word... Don't you love me at all”... 

I know I can't see it because it's a telephone conversation... but pretty sure my mom rolled her eyes... Cause she was giving off those "eye-roll" vibes... 

She may have done the above gesture too... Who knows... 

Sometimes I wonder if my mom wishes there weren't a “no return policy” when she birthed me... because I'm beginning to realize that I'm what people would call “a sore trial”... 

 

Editor: Pretty sure the answer is no... 

I might fire my Editor..

 

Everyone praised Episode 11 of Superman and Lois, season 1... because of the wonderful Clois moments... and their amazing chemistry... 

And although I love Bitsie and think she's great... but during the entire episode... I wanted to be the witch who brewed potions... and gave spiked apples with a wicked grin... 

 

Man... When even Loki thinks you're horrible...

 

Of course it doesn't help that I look like that witch on most bad hair days... which happens more often than I would like.... especially after a month or two of straightening my hair... 

and the straightening power has run out... so now it's back to doing the “wicked witch of the East or was it West... sorry I don't have a compass with me right now” style that I was born with... 

but I can't do anything about... because the hair stylist says I need to wait another few more months before she can straighten my hair again... to prevent spoiling my hair... while I weep over the counter of shampoo bottles and hair-curlers... 

Exactly my reaction..... 

 Wait... Or is that a reaction to my writing? 

 Gee... When even a rabbit has had enough... 

 

Also my reaction when I realize I have to wait a few days to wash my hair after the hairdresser aunty has done her straightening magic on my hair... 

Cause I'm the girl who washes her hair every day.... due to my workouts and stuff... I can't sleep with sweaty hair... 

So having to wait a few days to wash my hair is torture... Which also means I have to skip my workouts during those few days....

We humans are funny... People with straight hair perm their hair... While those with curly hair straighten theirs... Each envying the other's hair... 

Why can't we be satisfied with the hair we have been given? 

So I say as I book my next appointment for straightening my hair... 

 

 Trust me, I need it, Tyler! 

 

If I leave it in its natural form, bees will think it's their home...

My hair has like a curve... It curls as it wishes... I call it wayward hair... Crooked in its ways.. 

A bit of a shrew... Stubborn... Adamant... No straightening cream is able to tame it... 

It stays dormant and quiet for a month... only to rise again... and return to its wily ways..

I guess Bitsie too has had enough... 

Sorry for the nonstop babble...

Bitsie and I share a Birthday month so probably why it got to me...  and I ended up writing things that may or may not be worthy of a slap... 

Sorry... I'll give it a rest...   

This is probably what I guess a lot of people wish they could do to me too...

 

 

Man... This guy sure has chemistry with everyone he takes photos with, doesn't he?

 

In reality, jealousy aside, and the wish for doing a Freaky Friday with Bitsie, or any of his co-stars actually... 

I really do like Bitsie... She seems really nice, sweet and funny... Also like the things she has to say during interviews, and her views on the stuff that matters... 

So I wish Bitsie nothing but the best... Hope she had a good Birthday...

 #SupermanAndLois

 

When everyone else was sending Birthday messages to Bitsie, I wondered why Tyler was silent... Why wasn't he wishing his TV wife a happy Birthday... 

Then the next day, Bitsie shared the cake he baked for her... And my heart melted. 

I like that Tyler is the type who does cute, sweet things but doesn't have the need to share it or everything he does on social media. 

On the other hand, I like that Bitsie knew his fans would be wondering if he acknowledged her Birthday and hungering for any tidbits or photos of him... and constantly shares what she can of him... even if he's in the background, looking down at his phone, and all we get is a chuckle...

Thank you Bitsie. You're the best! 

  

I realize that I should be grateful that I never had a crush in real-life cause I would be the maudlin drive you crazy kind of person... Actually in all honesty, not really sure how this crush on Tyler Hoechlin even started... 

As a teen I never had a crush on any celebrity or on any real-life person... I was never attracted to anyone... I was happy with my books and TV...

I can't explain it... I don't know what triggered it... Triggered this crush... 

Maybe it's hormones... Like the hormones that are supposed to come during my teen years... have only now arrived...

Or maybe it was something I ate? 

A mosquito bite? Do I need to get myself checked? Is it contagious??? What if I'm a danger to society?

Man... Mosquito, I want to find you... and slap you... 

Seriously... Why me... I like not having feelings for anyone... 

I wish I could go back to the time a few years ago, when my only crush was on cheese...  

 

I hate you mosquito.

Is it his looks... his personality??? Or let's say the personality he shows in public as I don't know the person he is in real life and in private... and don't want to be guilty of making assumptions about his life...  

Sometimes you stan a celebrity for the character they play... yet find that they're so different in real-life... 

Sometimes you find out things that may disappoint you a little... Not saying their way of life is wrong... But it may not gel with what you like...

I'm aware that actors are not the roles they play... I once watched a compelling  biopic of this inspirational woman... who paved the way for social change and gender equality, leaving her mark in history... Her story was incredibly inspiring... 

I do love watching films that leave you with the feeling that you can achieve anything you want if you put your heart and soul into it... 

I do aspire to make a positive impact on the world... but I'm also a realist... 

I know nothing I do can be deemed truly life-changing... and that I don't have the capabilities to change someone's life for the better through my courageous stand or fight for justice... 

All I can offer is to do something nice for them, share some positive words meant to encourage them... or say a prayer for them... with the hope that one day I'll have the chance to do more... 

Anyway, setting personal aspirations aside, in that movie I watched, apart from the woman who was the reason for the movie... I also liked the actor who played her husband... 

I was moved by how he motivated her and stood by her at every step of her journey.... and by how proud he was of her.. 

Found him cute for the comfort and support he gave... 

Then read up about the actor playing that part and the charges against him... and realized hmmm... it's true what they say... the actor is not the role he plays... 

He was so charming and wonderful as her husband... I guess the complete opposite in real life... 

So who knows what Tyler is really like in real life.. although based on some bts moments captured... I like what I see... 

I'm lucky that although there were actors and singers I liked in the past and followed their career... there wasn't anyone that I would call a crush... 

That I stayed up thinking about at night... or at work... or while I'm just doing my normal everyday stuff... till this guy... 

But even if I hate feeling this way... I'm grateful that the guy I stan seems like a well-behaved guy in real-life... leading a well-adjusted life... 

And that he doesn't make any suggestive gestures or so far said anything obscene...

There's nothing sordid (so far... fingers crossed) in his life... even for one who attained fame at such a young age... 

It’s his right of course to say or do anything he wants.... I just like what I see... and that is just my preference... Sorry if it causes offense...

Truth be told, I didn't stan him from the beginning of his career.... And I didn't even actually start this baffling crush on him until a few years ago... 

Never followed his career or social media accounts before that... 

Maybe it was the pandemic... or re-watching Teen Wolf... Or me going insane... 

But honestly I don't know why I like him... 

I could keep blaming the mosquito... but that wouldn't be fair to the mosquito and I do try to be fair to everyone; humans, animals, insects and bugs... even rodents...

From what I've observed... I like that he's eternally optimistic in all his interviews and Q&A with fans... 

That he always smiles, no matter how pushy the questions get... That he never retaliates in anger...

He seems to be a cheerful guy... Constantly smiling in all the candid photos and videos I see of him... 

It's nice to be cheerful... to greet people with a smile instead of a frown...

Which is ironical... because I first became a fan when I saw him as brooding, grumpy Derek Hale, with the perpetual “I wish I was somewhere else.... I'm so done with this” look on his face... 

The face I usually have when I go shopping with my sister or friends and they head to the make-up aisle... Sometimes my eyes even glow red... and no... not from the make-up... I don't wear any.... 

But then his smile charmed me... And it slowly became a crush... 

Maybe it was his facial expressions... His skills in communicating with his eyebrows... That special eyebrow raise he has... All the mannerisms gif-ed to perfection...

Or his wholesomeness, which is what I presume, based on his interviews, and those given by his co-stars and fans who have met him... which may be deemed hearsay in a court of law... but in the social media court, anything goes... 

But since so far, there has been no documented or proven evidence to the contrary... I'm sticking with “wholesome”...

Actually the guy I crushed on was the guy from those Actors Clubhouse videos... That's when I liked him best... He gave such thoughtful, and to me, genuine answers...

Some people may claim that it's just an act... that the guy I'm crushing on may not exist in real life...

Cause everyone thinks their crush looks as cute as potato tots, walks on sunshine, smells like crisp apple strudel and tastes like chicken pot pie... 

But in reality they could smell like turpentine, and taste like bean sprouts...

Like how people behave their best during job interviews.. And be something they're not... Although I don't... I just be myself during job interviews... Hmmmm probably why I don't get the job...

Although I choose to believe that this nice guy personality is not really an act... No one can act good all the time.... Someway or somehow, the truth will come out... 

You can't just pretend to be something you're not... 

I know I don't... I'm weird... Annoying... Grumpy... That's just me... I can't help it... Luckily there are those who do tolerate accept me... 

Whether through interviews or during bts shots... your real-life personality will show... 

So since so far (touchwood) it hasn't... I like to believe that this personality of his is real...

While I look at life through dreary lenses... he inspires me to be more upbeat... more positive... Cheerful no matter the circumstances... 

 To be a bright spark of sunshine like him... Cause I can be grumpy at times... 

He seems to be outgoing and comfortable talking to perfect strangers... while I'm more of an introvert... But he's an inspiration to me to be more outgoing too..

We never really know a celebrity... How they are in public may not be the real them...

But that's the thing about having a crush on someone you don't know personally... We tend to forget that we don't actually know the real them... 

I would say though, from my observation of my “crush”... I like that he's always polite... especially to his fans... That he's friendly... 

I have read so many tales of how he has inspired fans to change their lives... to take a step towards their own betterment... to get out of toxic situations... just by the positive words he spoke during his con appearances or the kindness he showed them when they met him... 

Whether it was praises for their work... hairstyle... clothes... or talent... 

It's this personality he has... sweet, good-natured... occasionally dorky... and kind to his fans that makes me a fan... 

Which also makes it a little difficult to get over this crush...

Oh so difficult...  

I like the fact that he hasn't done anything outrageous... That so far he has lived a good life, has great work ethics and maintains his professionalism...  

I like the good-natured way he greets people... or acts around them...  

That he's well-mannered... courteous and a gentleman in public settings.... like during interviews or con appearances... 

No swearing... or obscene gestures... very respectful.. 

 

Not funny, Tyler.... not funny at all... Touchwood! 

 

It may be just for show and not really how he's like in private... 

But then again, when you meet a celebrity you stan.. or if you're going to interview a celebrity for your job... isn't it better to be greeted with kindness and politeness... instead of rudeness and arrogance?

I've read about how some celebrities can be haughty and fussy.... when meeting fans or reporters... 

So far, a problem this guy has never been accused of... and I hope he never will be... 

There are gossips and rumors about his personal life of course as there are about all celebrities...

Some not agreeing with his choices... without realizing who are we to agree with his choices... and his decisions...

Even worse, judging his character based on unsubstantiated gossip and rumors... Or one person's side of the story....

People sometimes forget... that they're known as "gossip" for a reason...

It came to the point I felt like crying reading all the things I was reading... Hating myself for not being able to stay away from them...  

 

Exactly how I sat in my room moping... 

No biceps though... and not as gorgeous...  

T-shirt may have looked the same...

 

Because sometimes things can be misconstrued... based on assumptions from a social media post, photo or video... 

Like people see this and that... make up their own ideas about it... without even being there or knowing the full story... and then say with conviction, “It's confirmed... That celebrity is a vampire... He doesn't like the sun...”

Like based on my blog post... people may think I'm like the cookie monster from Sesame Street... They could not be more wrong... I don't like cookies... I prefer cakes...

Although even the so-called gossip about Tyler is considered mild.... Nothing too scandalous... Nothing any young, hot-blooded man... especially a good looking one, wouldn't do.

I don't vehemently condemn him for it... as some do...

As fans, we need to realize, we have no right to dictate what he does behind closed doors... None of us do... 

Nobody fully agrees with what everyone does anyway... Nobody gets 100% approval... 

I'm sure Superman suffered from gossip problems too... 

The side eye over his “friendship” and closeness with Lois Lane...

The unwarranted pity for Clark Kent, “Oh that poor, innocent Clark.... Lois is awfully friendly with Superman... tsk tsk tsk”... 

For me, the guy who has made Clark Kent so appealing with his adorable dorkiness...

 

Or like the Scarlet Pimpernel—an old movie based on a book my mom introduced me to.

He’s thought to be a fool, a frippery fellow... but in reality, he’s incredibly intelligent and brave.... All the exaggerated foppishness was to cover his daring rescues.... 

Editor: Hello! Not Book Club!

Me: My editor is such a tiresome, tedious, fribble dribble...

Editor: “He, the sleepiest, dullest, most British Britisher that had ever set a pretty woman yawning”… ~ Baroness Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel

Me: Ok got the hint… I’m dull, boring and yawn-inducing… Let's continue my yawn-fest...

The passing of judgement... the speculative conjecture... without knowing the truth...  

None of us knows what goes on in another person's life... 

It’s not like we are flies on their walls to know all that goes on in their life…. 

Also being a fly could probably be dangerous… you could get swat.. I never want to be a fly especially if it’s to pry...

 

It's ok, Tyler... I fully understand you saying you would swat me... I mean not me me... but fly me...

 

We may not know the exact circumstances or the actual situation... the truth or what led to that specific decision... so why are we so ready to condemn...  

Something sometimes I'm guilty of too...  

Every celebrity should be able to live their life as they see fit... And not as their fans deem fit... 

Their personal life is nobody else's business but theirs... and they have a right to live their life the way they want...  

They could be a douche in real life but then that's their right... Just like it's my right to be the weird person I am...

People who know me in real life may hate everything about me... 

Again, I can't change who I am... just like the celebrities we stan can't either...

Some may be offended or even find some of my blog posts inflammatory... 

I'm sorry... I meant no harm....

I'm sure it's the same for Tyler... Some actions and decisions he might regret... Some he might find is ok while others get all worked up about it.

Who are we to judge when I'm sure many are judging us too... 

Many may not agree with how I live my life or the things I do or the person I am..

So as long as the celebrity is not doing anything illegal, or teaching others to do anything illegal, and they're not hurting or harming anyone, or doing anything that may require a jail sentence.... we should let people live their lives... 

 Fully agree, Bon Jovi...

 

Sometimes you build this image of the person you are crushing on... believing them to be the person you want them to be... and it's not your fault... and definitely not theirs... if they're not that person... 

Like I'm sure my mom would have been happier with a better daughter.... but she's stuck with me... Cranky... Moody... Annoying... Weird... 

I'm sure she wished I was someone she could proudly introduce as her daughter... It's not like she ever said this to me or made me feel this way... but it's how I feel about myself.. 

But I can't change myself... I am the way I am... In the same way... we can't expect our celebrity crushes to be the way we want them to be...

It's their life... and the choices they make... are theirs and theirs alone... 

I'm pretty sure many people would not agree with some of our choices as well so why should we judge others when we certainly don't want others judging us...

So if we do find something about the celebrity we stan that we can't agree with... be it their choices... the things they say... or the things they do... 

Instead of lamenting about it.... condemning them... or attacking them online... just move on from them... 

Because at the end of the day, it's their life.... and they have the freedom to make their own choices, even if we may not agree with them...

   

So no matter what Tyler has done or presumed to have done, he's still the guy who buys sports tickets and takes his family on trips... Expensive hotel stays… Trips overseas… I see posts from his family saying, “Thanks Tyler” and I melt… 

It's something I find so incredibly endearing and lovable… I also found it sweet that he bought Bitsie sweets because she loves them… What a sweet guy... 

But then I'll cry.. or worse.. pout.. if he buys sweets for his sweet... sugar for his honey...

Bitsie gets a free pass because she's such a sweet woman... although I may envy her...

Editor: Stop it!

Me: Wanna give me a sweet punch? Not to drink... but like, to my face...

Editor: (Glaring) 

I'm sorry, Tyler... 

I’m trying not to think of all the gifts and trips you have given your significant other..

Meals romantically prepared for them… Flowers thoughtfully bought… 

Relaxing spa trips… Idyllic trips to Europe... 

A stolen kiss in the rain...  

Finding romance under an umbrella... 

 

Foot massages lovingly given...  

Heartwarming, fulfilling phone calls with meaningful conversations… 

Dreamy evening walks on the beach...

 

A date under the stars... Enjoying the breeze under the light of the moon...   

Cuddles softly shared, while sitting on the porch watching the sunset... 

Romantic couch potatoes.... 

Romantic, sentimental songs like Elliot James Reay's "I Think They Call This Love" or Boy In Love  (both of which I can’t stop listening to...being an Oldies woman at heart with a deep appreciation for crooners)… tenderly sung with heartfelt passion for that special someone.

The touching "I’m thinking of you" or "I miss you" gifs… 

The I LOVE YOUs sexily uttered as you hold the side of their face in the palm of your big, comforting hands… sending shivers down their spine as you gaze at them with affection… with those beautiful mesmerizing eyes of yours… that could thrill with a single glance... 

I could cry… but I’m lazy…

Sorry... I attempted to write like those romance book writers… with the extensive use of adjectives… but me being a romance-zero… I think I made a few Google bots throw up…  

 

Wait… Did you do this on purpose, Tyler?   

Gee, thanks for making my jealousy grow…

 

That Tyler gif was clearly sending me a message… that I could moon over him all I want… but there’s no chance in Smallville… am I ever getting that close to him…. 

He ain't saving me from a flying brick, that's for sure... 

Who needs powers when you're a baseball man... 

Tyler can catch balls thrown at him… I’m sure he can catch flying bricks too… 

You don’t need a boyfriend with powers when you’ve got Tyler…

A question… Why are some hotel rooms so expensive… My brother was looking for a hotel for our family vacation and came across one that costs 100k per night... 

Like what’s so special about their rooms? Gold-plated mugs? Diamond covered toilets… 

Like how can you justify people paying that much to stay a night in your room? 

I wish I was rich just so I can pay for the room and check what’s so special about their 100k plus room… I better see expensive alcohol-infused chocolates on your pillow!

 

Sigh... I wish I was rich...

 

Anyway... back to Tyler and my imagination of his romantic interludes that drive me crazy…

Tyler could be the singing type... One of his ex did mention that they enjoy singing together in the car... which for me is not only romantic but fun too. 

Made me jealous of course… but I have to give it “romance” points... Like when he sang during the Blind Date Project improv thing he did...

I did tear up watching it... Not tears in my eyes... The tearing of papers, which I then threw at my TV screen because they didn’t just sing.... They also kissed... 

Like just sing the song for grease sake... Why must you put your greasy lips on each other... Like you have envious fans watching...

“Don’t go breaking my heart”, dear Tyler… Sing... Kiss never…. 

The perfect duet song… “Don’t go breaking my heart. I couldn’t if I tried… Oh honey, if I get restless… I will stab you with a fork… Baby, you’re not that kind”…. 

Pretty confident, aren't you, woman saying he’s not that kind… Men will just break your heart... They will get restless... Then cheat on you...

Why I don’t do relationships… Stick to the bat, Tyler…

Yes, Tyler… I hope you get to be Batman one day... Indiana Jones.... Wolverine… Heck, I would happily have you be the swamp thing as long as I get to see you on my TV screen… 

Stick to that bat… the animal or the sports equipment… just stick to that... Don’t go singing “I’m gonna stick like glue because I’m stuck on you” like Elvis did… 

Those beautiful women are not worth it… Let a team of wild horses save you from them…

Editor: Thinking of your homonyms lesson, huh?

Me: Yes. I will be conducting my training soon... I wonder if the training participants will guess I have a thing for Tyler with all the Tyler gifs I have been using in my PowerPoint slides as explanation... Hopefully they will think this trainer is cool with her gifs and all.

Editor: They won’t.

Me: Oh well as long as they don’t jump off the roof after my training and have nightmares for days... Like sorry... This is my voice and face... Can’t change it..

 

Their reaction too, I guess... 

 

Anyway... Tyler could do multiple love scenes with women... 

He could have a girlfriend... or two... (😔)... 

or not (😃)... Or engaged (😨)... Or married (😭)... 

Or have a cat (😳)... Or love bean sprouts (😖🤮)...  

That's kinda true... Just like I couldn't help having a crush on him... he too won't be able to help falling in love with someone... And his fans who are crushing on him, just like me… may not approve… for the simple reason that the person is not them… 

Because when you’re in love, you do crazy things… like hating your crush's woman... although hating bean sprouts has its merits…

I really hope he doesn't like bean sprouts... It's long and wormy... Please don't, Tyler, for your mouth's sake.... 

NO! We're mortal enemies, sprouts and I... 

 

Seriously dude, your opinion is convicting a kid of murder because of your prejudice... 

so I don't think so... The answer is still NO!

Look, I don't want to discriminate against a vegetable, but I really don't want to eat it, even if it has the thing called nutrients... 

Let's just think of it as flowers and put it in between roses or other flower thingy (sorry I don't know my flowers) and give it in a bouquet to people... 

But not you, Tyler... Keep your flower-gifting to women to a minimum...

 

Yup... Mexican food... Much better choice... 

I love them too... We're Indians; we love anything that's spicy...

Also, the many things I have in common with Tyler, songs and movies, I guess food is also another one of them...  

 

So no matter what he does... or presumed to have done... Or like... Or don't like... There's no need to get overly morose about it... 

Sorry... It saddens me to read so many negative and upset comments from fans about their favorite celebrity... so much hate and judgement... sometimes on things that are without proof...

We forget that we can't put our beliefs and values, and what we like onto the celebrity we stan... 

They have their own beliefs... Just because it's something we wouldn't do... doesn't mean they can't either...  

I am sorry if my words sound condescending... I don't know how I ended up on this long road of preachiness....

 

Is this you asking me to put a stop to my preaching, Tyler?

Will end it soon... Some things I need to get off my chest... Sorry...  

 

I'm quite sure my celebrity crush would not approve of some of the things I have done... like the amount of carbs I eat... 

He, of the eat-healthy variety, may have nightmares seeing the cheesy pizza and cakes I stuff into my mouth... 

The nightmares may also come from seeing my face...

There are also people who judge without knowing the true circumstances... Who think I'm not doing enough for my mom because I don't want to buy things from them for her...

So I should buy that really expensive air purifier and mattress they are selling, which I'll need to pay for heftily over the next 5 years... just to show them I love my mom?

Without realizing I'm already spending as much as I can for her... That if I had the financial means I would buy her a big house with a fountain and horses that roam...

But I feel we already have enough... Our home may not be beautiful or luxurious but it's comfortable... 

 

Yup... Love my home too...

So angry they get, accusing me of being a bad daughter who hasn't done anything for her mother... They say my mom should be living a good life and that I should be doing more for her... 

They don't know how worrying it can be taking care of a mom who has cancer that has metastasized to her brain... so her cognitive abilities are not always at their best...

That I sometimes miss my mom and the way she used to be... That I cry into my pillow at night... seeing her suffering from the effects of her cancer... and all the medical procedures she has to go through... 

Sorry... Went a little bit off-track.... 

So the point is, just as people judge me without knowing all that I am going through... it's probably the same for him or any celebrity... assumptions being made based on outward appearances...

So his private life aside.... let's love the public side of him... his great work ethics, his professionalism at work, his acting, and the inspiring words he says...

 

Wise words, Tyler Hoechlin... 

 

But that's the problem when you have a celebrity crush... or any crush for that matter... 

Like the guy who goes to school with you.. or works with you... and then you find out he secretly goes to strip clubs every night, leering at the women there... even though he acts like a virtuous saint at work who never looks at women...

But we still don't have the right to judge... even me, the prude...

The prude who wanted to buy a camisole because I thought some of the new blouses that I bought online were too transparent... and looked for camisoles... and realized that people nowadays wear those camisoles on the outside... with jeans... or shorts... or skirt... and not as an inner covering to protect their body and bra from being gazed upon... 

Some people actually wear transparent clothing for fun.... for fashion... They actually like people looking at their bra... Some even don't wear a bra... 

But hey I'm all about women empowerment so wear what you want... It's your choice... As long as you're comfortable with what you're wearing and not being forced into it... 

So wear a bra... Wear two... Don't wear one...Wear a meat suit... It's a waste of good meat... but then again your meat, your choice...  

Bonus.. If you're hungry, you can eat your clothes... 

I, on the other hand, can't even wear a camisole at home... 

Or in the privacy of my own bedroom because I worry the roof would cave in on me and I would be discovered in my camisoles... 

I'm a horrible person aren't I for saying all this?

 

Hey, don't Alex P. Keaton me... Prude I may be but at least I'm not a prune... Yeah... I don't know what that means... Best course of action is just ignore me...  

Also, I don't know why I had to overshare all that camisole stuff... Cause I know that so makes me not his type... 

 

The shock... and the instant agreement to not being his type... 

When even a gif rejects you... (sad face)

 

Although I wish he would just wake up one day and say, "I want to be with someone ugly... and a prude... Like more clothes please... and be as ugly as you want"... 

If he gets tired of all those sexy, beautiful women around him... 

Cause you know I'm available....

At all, Tyler? 

I understand...

Oh well... 

I gues, he would be better off dating a pudding... 

It's squishy and wobbly too like me... but way more fun... and definitely tastier...

   

I fully concur with this gif's "Yikes" facial expression...

 

Sometimes, I'm not sure which century I belong to.... 

I act as if I belong in the pages of those Georgette Heyer Regency books I love to read... where a woman showing her ankle is considered scandalous... 

Because I can be such a Victorian prude at times... 

Oh... My bad... 

I meant... 

Pray, forgive me.... I humbly beg your pardon for the erroneous categorization... 

Ok maybe I'm just weird.... 

The person who slides into her car because she's afraid that since she wears short skirts... (well not too short, prude that I am... It’s more knee-length)... that if she opens her leg too wide getting into the car... people may get a glimpse of her thighs... 

As if taking a look at my thighs will cause spontaneous combustion... 

 

I do hope this isn't a condescending grin...  

 

Because I've read those Fantastic Book of Facts... I know spontaneous combustion can happen...

Spontaneous combustion... Green-skinned children who suddenly appear out of nowhere... Black-eyed children who come at night... 

Man... The scary things I read in my youth... 

Now I worry if my ankles are causing a riot... The cat did look at it as if it wanted a bite... maybe it was just hungry...

Or annoyed... I do tend to have that effect on people... 

I'm so straight-laced that even when I draw a crooked line... it somehow still looks straight... You know... Science.. Reflection or something... Or really bad drawing skills...  

The only raunchy thing I do is using a movie gif that has bad words in it... 

Ok... maybe sometimes they're not really bad words... but still... they seem pretty naughty to me... 

For me, wild party night is a shandy in my hand, hanging out with my family... and if my young cousin is staying over... we would probably end up watching some teen movie... I don't even look at the actors on the show, cause they're young and I don't want to go to jail...

I ain't thirsting over some 20-something kid... 

Like once... About a year ago... Someone, who's a fan of one of the kids on Superman & Lois, sent me a DM, telling me to view the pictures in the link they sent me because that actor is shirtless in them... 

And I was like... ok hang on there a minute, buddy... 

It may be ok for you... But that actor is what 20?

He's a kid... I'm not into him... He's just a character on my favorite show...

I don't care if he's shirtless... I don't need to see him shirtless... I don't want to see him shirtless... Would probably feel NOTHING even if I do see him shirtless...

I think she blocked me after my long winded prattle... 

Maybe of all the guys out there, the “I feel nothing for men” declaration may drop a notch for you, Tyler... 

The feeling of indifference... the lack of interest... may not perhaps apply to you... It may even magically turn into I feel something... something...

But not right now... 

Now put the shirt back on...

 

It's bear with me and my ramblings... Not bare yourself to me...

The same when my teenage cousin talks about this and that actor on those teen shows... 

Young... Please... I ain't looking... I'm not even interested... But I will support you and agree with you about their perceived hotness...  

But then again even if they were older, it still wouldn't make a difference... I don't thirst over anyone.... I don't look at anyone... 

Maybe just Tyler... But they are just slight glances... not serious gazes... I don't know why I only thirst for water... and maybe a milk-shake... especially if it has a dash of rum... 

My only hope is that if I ever undergo surgery in the future... and find myself drugged up with the medication... someone, like my family, will have the courtesy to cover me... Or at least close the curtains...

To make sure my modesty is always protected... Like I would do for my loved ones...

I know people may think I'm weird... but honestly... I'm ok with that...

 

Stare angrily at me all you want, Tyler...

I'm just being honest... 

A bit over dramatic perhaps... but honest...  

 

Although I have to say not too much of a prude... I still enjoy Kumar's stand-up comedy... I don't close my ears... clutch my pearls and tsk tsk tsk and say, “Oh golly, my... what words is he saying”.... 

Although I may say, “what is he saying” but mostly cause some of his jokes are a bit explicit and I don't get them... 

I do go “offline” when people make dirty jokes... 

Like seriously! Draw me a diagram in the future... Better still a powerpoint presentation...

Ok... Scratch that... Nope... No... Hearing that is already bad enough... I don't need to visualize it...

 

Me... when watching Kumar's joke... Actually most of the time...

 

The same when we play that adult card game... Cards Against Humanity, that was a gift from someone... who was looking for a family game for us and the shop owner asked, “Is the family close. Do they get along. Like laugh all the time. Joke around. If yes, then they would enjoy this”... 

Faint he will... that innocent friend of our family... if he ever knew the racy contents of the card he lovingly bought for us... 

So our very conservative, traditional family played the game... I mean it was a gift.. It would be rude if we didn't play it...

My mom and aunt were appalled though... and promptly went to bed... while my uncle and us kids continued playing... and fun we did have...

Granted I had to Google some of those words... Secretly though... Can't have them laughing at me too, can I?

   

Me during the game... Trying to pass off my confusion as laughter... 

 

And nearly threw up when I found out the meaning.... begging my sister who was the Tsar if I could exchange my cards... She goes, “Only one card allowed to be exchanged.. That's the rule”... 

And I look at my cards and the things written on them... in horror... with the horror increasing when my 18-year-old cousin laughs at some of the things on the card... things 40-something-year-old me didn't even understand...

So I tell her, what every older cousin should tell their young cousin.... “Stop watching Riverdale”... 

I mean I think the show is raunchy... Who knows... I haven't watched it... I just wanted to sound cool..  

 

I wasn't cool, was I, Tyler?

  

Like I could have voluntered to be the Tsar... but that would mean me reading the card... and saying all the naughty words on it... and I would rather eat dirt... cause that would be how my mouth would feel like...

So lay down the card I do... and pretend to laugh with them when they see my card.... like I understood the joke... 

 

Yes, Tyler and readers, that seem to be non-existent at this point, you may roll your eyes... Pretty sure the Googlebots rolled their eyes too... or rolled their ots...

 

I can imagine the disappointment I am to my father for enjoying the game... 

If he was alive and seeing me play this game, he would be like, “thy have betrayed me, my child”... 

Well pa, if it helps, I didn't know the meaning of half of these words... so still your prude of a daughter... 

Yeah... I'm not really sure why I needed to share all this... Beginning to think that all the gifs telling me there's something wrong with me could probably be right... 

 

Man... I can imagine the amount of lectures Lois Lane would give me... if she ever met me.... 

 

Ok maybe I just like to pretend like I'm some cool prude... innocent... 

Like a nun? 

No... Like a naan... 

Cause all naan looks like an innocent flat piece of bread... then you bite into it... All the cheesy garlicky goodness... and you realize it's not that innocent...

It could even be naughty enough to be arrested.... 

 

Yes, arrest yourself, Tyler... For mind invasion...

I'm like that... Sometimes I'm innocent... and genuinely can't get the dirty joke or innuendo... but other times, my mind does go into “I need to go to confession but no way am I saying all these to a priest” territory... 

Sorry... It's my brain's fault and for being someone who likes to read stuff a lot... even random pieces of buzzfeed or Google articles... 

So I know things I sometimes I wish I didn't... Man I could go for some naan right now...

So just like I wouldn't want someone to judge me for being the person I am... a prude... weird... and ok annoying too... Ok maybe I'm like some scary monster from Bitsie's Grimm... 

I too have no right to judge another person... 

They are free to live their life... and we may not agree with them but then again, a crush is just a fantasy of what you hope them to be.. and you find out they're not... and it's not their fault... They didn't ask you to like them.. or fantasize about them... 

Hey... people think I'm annoying now... imagine how hard it would be if they realize this annoying people thing is not an act... I really am that annoying... 

 

We all have different level of tolerance...  All I know is if I stan someone, I have to respect them... 

Some like bad boys... Some like good innocent guys...

I actually don't know what I like since I've never wanted anyone... 

I like brooding, always angry Derek Hale... 

But I also like goody two shoes, dorky Clark Kent.... 

Maybe because it's Tyler in those roles... Which is why I find the characters so appealing... 

I was never into Clark Kent or Superman, until Tyler did Superman & Lois...

 

I feel it’s not so much Derek’s grumpiness that I like... It’s more his strength... 

I like guys who are strong and willing to fight for those they love or care about... 

Like Clark’s dorkiness is cute and sweet and all... but when he comes into his serious mode... when he gets angry... that’s when the “hot” factor goes up a notch for me...

Anyway... back to real-life and the celebrities we love... 

Some are ok about their fav drinking, throwing wild parties, smoking pot, doing hookups, cheating, taking naked selfies, posing nude... But some like me are not... 

But then there are probably those who may not approve of my overly prudish tendencies... 

Even weirder my aversion to selfies... Or my over-indulgence in desserts... 

It's all a matter of choice and personal preference.  

And it just doesn't seem right to be judged for our preference... 

We're all unique and different... 

There's no right or wrong way to live... as long as we're not inflicting pain or harming someone else, we have the right to live our lives as we see fit...

Inspiring words, Tyler... It's why I share my grapes with my colleagues... 

because I don't want to be a hole person either...  

Not really sure how I feel about your bearded-caveman look... 

Maybe on others not so much... but on you... sure... anything goes...  

Yup... Anything goes...

 

I guess that's the thing we can learn from this... That if we do have a crush... whether it's on a celebrity or a person we know in real life, it's not our fault... or theirs if they are nothing like what we imagined them to be....

But that doesn't mean we have to compromise what we like in a person just to fit theirs... Because sometimes what we can't accept about a person, may be the very thing someone else finds so appealing... 

They may the perfect someone for somebody else, who fits their lifestyle, personality and beliefs...

We can find someone else to crush on who fits our ideals... If there's no one, that's ok too...  

So move on, my fellow crushing people out there... Don't be sad about it, just move on... 

What I am grateful for... even if I know I will eventually fall out of my crush on him... is that I got to at least experience the feelings of having a crush... 

After years of thinking "what is wrong with her"... while watching girls in movies and TV shows... pining over a guy they like... I finally get it... I understand a little... 

Now I know why they cry in their room... or into their pillow.... Or stare morosely out of their window...

I can feel their misery a little...

I can at least relate to the book and movie characters out there... who do some insanely embarrassing things because they have a crush on someone... 

I can at least now empathize a little... cause I realize I have done some shady, mortifying things too because of my crush... This blog post being one of them...

Sorry, TV ladies, for the many times I shook my head at your silly antics for your crush....

I'm sorry... Just because you're inside my TV, doesn't mean I have the right to judge you... Please forgive me...

 

So anyway... I guess I have no right to judge over zealous fans either... 

When an acquaintance, someone we know casually, messes up... we normally don't react so passionately... 

But when it's someone we care about, someone we love... we do react... we share our opinions... sometimes quite vehemently...

It comes from a place of love... When we care about someone, we just want them to do well in life, to not be judged by others, to be safe and live a good life... to be happy... and healthy.... 

And when they do things that goes against what we could accept then we will react because we care for them....  

As long as it's constructive criticism... not destructive... And not just nasty accusations meant to tear that person down or break them...

I know some people call themselves “fans” but just spew hate for the fun of it... 

But there are those who share opinions, that are admittedly harsh... but it's actually just disappointment, the need for the person they love to be better... 

I guess the reason why we should try... me especially... not to be invested in someone we don't know in real life...

We have to learn that they're just trying to live their life... make mistakes and learn from them, and trying to be the best they can be... like any of us... 

The only difference is that our mistakes and shortcomings are only apparent to the select few who know us... 

While theirs are sometimes splattered all over the Internet...

There are many mistakes or things I have done...  that I look back on with a cringe of horror and a shudder of embarrassment... 

Fortunately. most of them remain tucked away in the pages of my memories... hoping that as fleeting as our thoughts are... they may eventually fade away... 

The same for all those who were witnesses to my acts of embarrassment... 

But celebrities live in the constant gaze of the camera and their every move is captured... 

Dorky moments... Awkward facial expressions... Captured and some immortalized as gifs... 

And these celebrities have to live with those embarrassing memories for the rest of their lives...

 

I feel you, Tyler... Something I struggle with too... and have experienced...

 

Sometimes I wonder how their family feels to see the person they love being so publicly discussed and shamed by strangers... A celebrity's life may seem glamorous at times... but it must be tough too.... 

Living in the public eye is probably never easy... With people judging you based on what they perceive your life to be... Analyzing your every decision... The words you speak... And the people you date. 

As outsiders, none of us know the exact circumstances, or what led to that decision. So for me personally, whether I agree with that decision or not, all I can do is respect it.

But just to be clear, I may not want to judge and do feel sorry for those celebrities who mess up in small ways... but not if they do something that I find hard to forgive like harming or hurting someone...  

And I may be jealous of any significant others Tyler might have... or even his beautiful co-stars and friends... but I would never write or say bad things about them... or wish harm or misfortune on them... I just envy them... not hate them...

Actually sometimes I do pray for them too because some people's jealousy can lead to hurtful things being said... and I hope they never read it... because even I feel like crying reading things said about Tyler and his loved ones...

Ok... That sounded preachy.... and very melodramatic... Sorry... 

 

So anyway, end of preaching mode... and back to Tyler Hoechlin and why I like him... 

I feel the reason why I'm so into him... like I've never been with anyone else is because I can relate to so many things about him... 

His quirks... mannerism... The things he likes... as shared during interviews or as told by his co-stars...

There's like a random candid video of him.. shared by his co-star... 

And it's him, staring at his laptop... looking all serious.... and I realize there's an exact video of me.... staring at my PC... taken by my colleagues... 

Of course I don't look as cool and straight-back as him... Mine is more hunched over my laptop... I really should take better care of my posture... 

And I'm like.... we're so alike... So it's the simplest things about him that I find relatable... and maybe use to justify the crush... no matter how silly or immature I may sound...  

 

I fully concur with you judging me, Tyler.. Let's say I've made my peace with it.

I like his taste in music and film (from what he has shared).... I did get a little excited when he said he liked Game of Thrones... cause me too, Tyler... me too...

I remember watching a video of a Q&A with a fan during a con, and they asked Tyler to name a song that he recently listened to that was inspiring, and he named Avicii's "What Would I Change it too"... 

I've always been a fan of Avicii's music, thanks to Adam Lambert, whom I used to stan from his Americal Idol days... 

Actually still a fan though not as zealously as I once was... 

And I read then that Adam Lambert was collaborating with Avicii on a song, "Lay Me Down". 

So I looked Avicii up... Heard “Wake Me Up” and its unique melody (it starts out as a folk song then the beat hits during the chorus... such genius) and I was hooked... It was what got me into the EDM style of music...  

There's the Avicii song, “Nights” (love the meaningful lyrics too... The type of parent I would love to be if I had the chance... No hope for that... but I would settle for being an aunt like that one day... who inspires my nieces and nephews to be or do anything they want... as long as they're not harming themselves or others).... 

With nights being my current jam when I'm feeling sleepy at work... It's one of my wake-up-and-concentrate-at-work songs... Usually works like a charm...   

Some people say that they feel sleepy when they listen to songs... or if it's a cold, rainy day... 

For me, it's the opposite... Listening to songs and cold, rainy days are my instant pick-me-ups... It's hot, humid days that make me feel sleepy and lethargic... Thank goodness for air-conditioning eh... 

Sorry... I forget people are not interested in my 'too-much-information' sharing.... 

So anyway Avicii... Hearing Tyler's answer, I was surprised that there was an Avicii song that I wasn't familiar with... Looked it up and now can't stop listening to it... It may even have motivated me at times when I feel like bawling too... 

Grateful for some of the songs and artists I discovered because I was the creepy diligent.. some would say conscientious (ok maybe no one would say)... fan who looked up what singers Tyler listened to...  

Although I realize finding a video of him singing Wonderwall for the improv thing he did... downloading the video... converting it to mp3... and letting it be a part of your song playlist.... in the midst of established vocalists... it's when you know you perhaps have gone a little too far in this “crush” saga...

 

I totally get you trying to ignore me, Tyler gif... 

 

I like the things he says... and agree with some of his views on things... and his thoughts... from interviews, conversations and stuff...

I like that he has decorum.. that he doesn't overdo it with his fun... 

No “flexing in front of a mirror” in his underwear… or towel… photos... showing off those abs of his... 

Or showing off his towel... I mean for towel promo... 

 

Even for work, he's still covered...  

 

Most of the time, he shares photos of himself making a funny face... 

He might call it his funny face or cute face, who knows... 

Although some.. and when I say “some” I mean me... may call it "I'm going to be thinking about this photo a lot... maybe even sigh a little"...

That he writes meaningful posts on his Instagram... and not just post a naked selfie of himself for his.... and maybe some of his fans' gratification... 

Not my gratification though... I'm the fan who likes him fully clothed... preferably in white...   

I just like looking at his buff body and not want him in the buff…

I'm special like that... 

Maybe he shares it to his personal posts...  

He could go around sending naked selfies of himself to his friends... or face time them naked...

Maybe in the future, he will share more naked mirror selfies... 

Maybe I won't care... Maybe I will be sad...

Maybe I won't crush on him anymore if he does... 

Maybe I should realize this is just a crush and not be so overly dramatic about it...

So anyway... his butt.. his body... He has the right to share whatever he wants... whenever he wants...

Although I notice he he waits to share photos of doing things that mean something... And not just random photos or oversharing of his life...

I know some fans may wish that he posts more often... like give us glimpses of his life...  

They would be happy seeing his breakfast... or him taking a shower after his workouts... brushing his teeth... 

I know some got excited with his brushing teeth scene in Superman and Lois... 

 

If that was an angry lecture, I accept... 

 

Heck pretty sure they will get excited if he shared a photo of his toothbrush... 

Then proceed to analyse it... Like what does sharing that toothbrush mean? Is he trying to tell us something... And the most important question, is that his girlfriend's toothbrush he's using... 

Me be all ewwww... Do couples do that? Share a toothbrush? Cause gross... 

 

My reaction if I discover I have used someone else's toothbrush by mistake...

 

I wouldn't mind him sharing videos of his workouts though.... 

But not for any sleazy reasons... I'm not being a busybody... or a creep... 

Again it's for educational purposes... I'm not sure if I'm doing the dumbbell row right... So I want to learn from him... 

See it's all about the knowledge... 

That being said, I do eagerly await his periodical Instagram posts especially when a new episode of Superman & Lois airs and he does his weekly posting to promote the show... 

 But then again as you wait with anticipation to see a post with his face... and he ends up sharing a photo of a fire, is when you realize the guy you stan is a tease.  

 

When he posts, I do my part of being a faithfully supportive fan and “heart” all of his posts...

I also occasionally comment on his family, friends and mom's posts, which I hope is not considered intrusive as the account and posts are public... and he has promoted his mom's account in the past...

I do the same for my friends too.... Writing long-winded greetings and messages to them... which looking at this blogpost, I guess the long-winded thing is a given..

I may not have said anything great, but I hope that it at least made them happy...

That's why I fully support fans leaving positive messages on celebrity's posts... even if some may say it's cringe-worthy as the celebrity is not going to see the comments...

I don't see anything wrong in making someone feel good....

 

This is me manifesting Tyler's approval...

 

It doesn't matter if they don't read it.... What if they do, and they were feeling down.... And you made their day... 

We can never know the impact our words could have.... 

I know when I was feeling down, someone saying something positive or encouraging to me... praising me... made me feel better... 

So I try to do the same... Call me cheesy... 

Oh... well then.... moving on... (and yes I'm pouting)... 

 

I like that he doesn't have the need for showing off his life and he's protective of his family and their privacy. 

Although there was the one time he shared his parents visiting him on the Vancouver set and I melted a little...

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tyler Hoechlin (@tylerhoechlin)

 

Life's greatest blessing.. is to have a mom and dad... who are not just your parents... but your best friends too... Or at least it is for me.. My mom has always been, and will always be my best friend...

Of course when it comes to him, it takes very little to make me emotional...  

There was once the bts of Tyler filming a scene for Superman and Lois, and my heart broke a little seeing the length of time he was kneeling... and the number of times he had to go up and down on his knees to do the Superman thing...

 

😔

Some might argue he has help in writing his social media posts but I would like to hope that it's all him... 

It does seem genuine... I kinda guess that's why he takes time to post something... That he thinks it through and only post something that is meaningful and has impact....   

Or maybe I'm overthinking things and he's just posting at random... 

Because I'm that type... The type that takes time to post something because I want to make sure the words I write conveys what I want to say and my appreciation... 

Like I take a few days to post a single post in my personal social media.... Reading and re-reading the caption to make sure it's just right... 

Being a perfectionist has its problems... 

 

Rude... 

 It's always about me...

Maybe the views expressed by him are not his views, and they're the views of his publicist... 

Maybe it's not his real feelings about things... Maybe the real him is different... 

I wouldn't know... But so far... I like what I see... I like the way he lives his life...   

On my private personal Insta, I post things months later as I need time to compose and make sure I have gotten my point across in the best way possible... especially if it involves my loved ones...  

Like taking months to post a thank you message for the gifts I receive or a kindness shown to me...

So I understand the whole delayed social media posting thing... 

Although in my case, it could also be because I'm lazy... 

But hear me out, Tyler... In my defense... 

Ok yeah there's no defense... Just lazy... And extreme procrastination... 

We Indians have this saying... Actually it's copied from a Tamil movie... "It's ok to be late... but we must always be the latest"...

Yeah I don't know what it means.... We just say it a lot... Also it sounds better in Tamil...

 

I stan Tyler for his closeness to his family... I love how he constantly talks about them and takes the trouble and makes the time to be with them, as much as he can.... 

That he likes hanging out with them... that he could spend his weekends and go on trips with his parents... his siblings and their families.... 

I love the joy on his face in the photos with his family... 

 

Update : Recently... I watched an interview, in which he talked about the Hummer he owned when he first started his career... Then he mentioned that he has now given the Hummer to his nephew... 

I heard that and I melted... It's these little things that he does... that makes me such a dedicated fan of his... 

I see old photos of Tyler's brother with his co-stars... or in the background of Tyler's interviews during conventions... and find it sweet that they spend a lot of time together and go on trips... 

They used to be like the Winchesters... The Hoech Brothers... but without the secretly hunting ghosts, demons, and vampires... and saving the world from the Night King.

Then again, who knows what they get up to in their downtime...

It's something I find so relatable... I mean that I have the same bond with my family... and not that we hunt monsters....

Actually I'm worse... I prefer hanging out with my family more than my friends... My very loud family; known for the sound of laughter that follows us everywhere... 

My sister-in-law said that she fell in love with my brother, because on their first date, he talked about us the entire time... I found it sweet that it was his love for his family that attracted my sister-in-law to my brother... 

Didn't fully get why she would find it attractive... until now... until I hear my crush talking about his family and I swoon too....

At #PaleyFest, @tylerhoechlin shared one of his favorite parts about his role on @cwsupermanlois: "This whole job I get to do on the show is kind of a love letter to my parents."#PaleyFest continues tonight! Save your seat now for upcoming panels: https://t.co/wlEj2GEv4B pic.twitter.com/NoMmbPGItC

— PaleyCenter (@paleycenter) April 7, 2022

 

My family means everything to me... I worry for them... I pray for their health... To have success in their studies and career... For blessings and protection... For comfort, guidance, healing and intercession when they're going through difficulties... 

I pray for friends going through health issues, financial troubles and hard times.... and for the souls of my departed family members... 

I pray to be a better person and have good virtues... To be filled with love instead of judgement... 

To be kind... patient... generous... humble... and not take my blessings for granted...  

To help more... To do the right thing... For guidance and protection... To have more empathy... For forgiveness and the ability to forgive those who have wronged me... 

Yeah I kinda pray a lot... I wonder if my prayers tire Him up there? Cause I realize my prayers are as long as rambling as my blog posts...  

And now I pray for Tyler Hoechlin... That he would be safe, and protected from harm as he does his workouts and shoots his scenes...That nothing will befall him... That he will grow in his career and always be healthy and happy... and that his family and friends will be well too...  

Not really sure why but I worry incessantly for his health... as much as I worry for my family's health...  

That he finds acting opportunities that he will enjoy... while giving him the company of good friends, although I wouldn't mind if it's not the company of beautiful women (which I don't mention in my prayers... just feel it... very strongly)... 

And that he gets the role he's hoping for but without having to compromise his principles to attain it or do anything he would regret in the future... 

That he would always be wise in his decision...

Maybe he would not want the prayers... as I don't know his thoughts on this matter or if he believes in them anymore... 

From what I have gathered so far based on my “online reading” of his life, which may or may not be true... is that he's no longer into it even if his religious upbringing and his views on it when he was young... was what attracted me to him...

But it's his choice and I respect it and hope he's happy with the decision he has made...

I also know that there are many out there who DON'T believe in the power of prayers anymore... Prayer and worship are no longer the "in thing"... It sometimes is even frowned upon... 

That's perfectly fine... Everyone has the right to their own beliefs... I respect that... But I believe in the power of prayers and so I continue to pray... not only for him but for all those in the world going through tough times...

You know you have it bad, when your celebrity crush is a part of your prayer list... I guess when I stop praying for him is when I'll know that I'm finally over him... that I've moved on...

 

Hmmmm... I guess moving on from him is not gonna be easy... 

 

Actually the praying I do for him is not as weird and creepy as it sounds... 

As I am the type who prays for strangers... when I see them struggling in life or going through harrowing medical conditions... whether I know them personally or not... I just pray for things to get better for them... As I have experienced personally the powerful effects of a prayer... 

I'm also the weird person who prays for the significant other I don't have but could have in the future... 

 

When even Oprah thinks that's weird...

 

Like right now, I enjoy being single... I've never been in love... I don't want to be in love... I like my life and haven't met anyone I like spending time with more than my family or close friends... 

I like the freedom that comes from being single... the lack of worrying whether they were cheating on me... or if my lack of girlfriend skills and emotional connection is hurting his feelings... 

I know I would be a nightmare to be with... and I want to spare anyone that misfortune... 

And if he is the type of guy with a kind heart... like Clark Kent... he wouldn't break up with me... even if he found someone better... or if his feelings for me had run out... 

Like the love had lapsed.... but he might just stay with me... being miserable... because he didn't want to hurt my feelings...

The McDreamy saying he wants to make it work with me yet staring longingly at another woman... 

Look… I know they tried to paint Dr. Shepherd as a good guy on Grey’s Anatomy… for wanting to make it work with his wife… 

But there’s nothing noble about being with his wife and wanting another woman... It’s not fair to be with her... both miserable... while secretly loving another woman… 

And she cheated on him... so he gets a free pass to leave... and be with the woman he now loves and who loves him in return... I don't get relationships and people sometimes... 

 

Hmmm I guess someone didn't like my opinion... 

And I’m afraid that might happen to me if I get married… My husband may hate every minute being stuck with me….  but not being able to do anything about it.. because he’s a good guy…

Actually, he probably won’t make it to husband status… one month with me… nay… one week… and he will run… 

He won’t even make it to boyfriend status… He will just be “the guy spending time with me because he’s bored or he pities me… until he finds someone way better to spend the rest of his life with"… hoping to forget all the miserable moments spent with me...  

Like the AJR song, “Inertia” that as usual… Tyler mentions a band or singer or song, and it immediately gets added to my playlist… which isn’t always the case (like the Matthews one he mentioned wasn’t really what I was into so it didn’t get the coveted spot on my playlist)… 

But this band he mentioned, AJR, I found their melodies unique and their lyrics quirky.. so I started listening.... and anyway… in this one song, they mention “you said you'd break up with her But she met your family, and now, you're not in love anymore But you'll stick it out for, like, 20 years more”… 

Like I don’t want this… I don’t want to just “stick it out”…

So I'm not praying to find anyone... to spare them the pain and suffering that comes from being with someone like me...

 

Gee thanks Tyler! 😔

More enthusiasm please... 😠

 

BUT if it's God's Will (or for those less religiously inclined – fate dictates)... that there is someone out there for me... though I can't imagine what he could have done in his life to warrant that kind of PUNISHMENT... 

I pray that he is well right now... and if he's lonely to find solace in the company of family and friends.. and that he will be healthy, safe, blessed and find success in all that he does... 

Gawd I'm so weird... Like seriously.. If there's a Guinness book of Records for weirdness, I would win it..

 

When your celebrity crush agrees with your weirdness assessment of yourself...

 

Anyway family... 

I talk about my family all the time, that my colleagues not only know my family's names, and where they work... they even know my mother's youngest brother and his family... It's like they know our entire family history and genealogy... 

And my family knows my friends and colleagues well too... My colleagues want to go out for dinner after work, and they ask me to bring my mom along... Yes.... That is how much they know my family... and enjoy my mom's company... 

Maybe perhaps they like my mom more than me...  

Also people have started calling my mother my sister... to her delight, and my distress...

 

I know... I should be sad... But I'm resigned to it... 

Better than being preoccupied over a ring...  

 

I remember one Christmas, a few years ago... when I had to go back to work... but my sister and cousin had more off days so they could stay home... and they did cute Christmas Sugar Cookies for my colleagues... and brought those cookies over to my workplace to surprise my colleagues and I...

It reminded me of the time Tyler's sister made a cute present for Bitsie's daughter... It clearly shows the close bond he shares with his family... and I love him for it...

We also share the same problem with the pronunciation of our name... It's pronounced heck-lin for him... 

As for me... Ok... Full disclosure... The name on this blog is not really my name...

I use a pseudonym because I want to be able to write without fear of criticism or ridicule… public humiliation… litigation…

It's my secret identity... Like Bruce Wayne but without the millions... or Clark Kent without the adorableness of Tyler.

Not because I'm a superhero in real life... More like I'm an embarrassment...

I could use my real name but then... being the grass... the weed... growing among my family of beautiful roses... I feel that I already embarrass my family as it is being the way I am... so I prefer to spare them any more shame from people finding out the things I write here on this blog... 

 

Thank you Tyler... I guess I needed that... 

I guess I'm in constant need of hugs... which is usually freely given by my pillow...

 

So having a unique name means many people find it hard pronouncing my real name too... Some of them even teach me how to pronounce my name...

I go, “Hi... I'm (my name)..” and they're like, “.. oh.. you mean (mispronouncing my name)..” and I go, “No.. (my name)..” They go, “you mean.. (mispronouncing my name again)..”

Gee... Thanks... Thanks for teaching me how to pronounce my own name... At the end, I give up and say.. “It's fine... Call me whatever you want”...

 

Right, Tyler! You get it!

Have heard and seen your many shrugs of "whatever" when people mispronounce your surname...

 

Fun Fact: When you find out there's a font in your name... Others are named after warriors, saints and famous figures... I'm named after a font... 

Granted the font did not exist when I was born... But the great thing about this font is that it's all curly curly... just like my hair... 

As if it just knew that it had to look like me... 

 

Your excited face, Tyler?

 

And the fun part of this fun fact... is a colleague asking me, “Wait, is that really your Font? Did you create it?”... 

I mean I could have laughed... But I was just touched that this colleague of mine thought I had the smarts to create a Font... 

Like I don't even know how people do that... Create Fonts... Probably involves a lot of hard work... Fire... Rain... Thunder and lightning... Maybe even the Elder Wand...

 

I could so Ragnarok a Font... All I need is Led Zeppelin as my background music.... 

 

Tyler and I also have the same “could do without it” thoughts about social media...

My social media is just to see my family and friends' post because sometimes they tag me... And also to stalk Tyler and those related to him... 

Sometimes I feel like a creep for looking at photos of naked women doing racy poses just because they are presumed to be his girlfriends... 

Not sure why I do that.. I don't want to see their body... Neither do I want to see them posing with him either... So why look... I don't get me sometimes...

 

I'm so sorry, Clark... I really wish I was a better person...

 

I like that he takes no naked or sexy mirror selfies of himself to post on social media... Not saying it's wrong... 

I respect the confidence those who do and wish I too had the same confidence on the way I look... 

Maybe they're doing it for work... Respect that too... 

I seriously meant that, Tyler... 

I respect that they're using their gifts to better themselves financially and build a career... Like maybe that underwear or the towel they are posing in is part of a brand promo... and they get paid every time someone drools over them... or buys that towel... 

Like what a great way to make a living... I wish I could pose in my towel too... but my towel will die a shameful death... my mirror will die of disgust... and my father will slap me from the grave... 

 

Sorry... Can't help it...

For me personally, I like that Tyler is a private person... 

Although, I hope private doesn't mean he's hiding things that are depraved... 

Again... if he does... his business... not mine...

Maybe he posts mirror 'see-my-muscles' selfies, like I've seen some men do on social media, to his private account... Again not judging... I have sent some questionable things in my family chat groups too... which when it comes to me, is mostly photos of me eating... 

Cause I usually don't post any photos of myself in social media... and only send them to my family chat groups... which come to think of it... they probably wish I wouldn't... 

It's like getting the shock videos that some people like to send... an innocent looking video then suddenly a scary face pops up and gives your heart a jolt... It's the same... They open the chat, see my face, and scream... 

Most of the things he shares are just innocent stuff... Nothing x-rated... crass... or distasteful... which he could if he wanted to... His social media... His mouth... His words... His choice... 

But maybe cause I'm a bit old school... or maybe just old... my tolerance is kinda low... so I like that he doesn't.... 

Sorry... I'm know it's really judgemental of me for saying this... but I'm just trying to be honest... 

Not hating on those who do share things like that... Just something I wouldn't do... and I can't change the way I am.... or how I feel.. 

So I like that so far, Tyler seems to be a classy guy and his posts are usually thoughtful, and inspiring... and not indecent... 

Which is ok if he wants to posts more raunchy stuff... as it's his choice... but I can relate to him more that he doesn't...

Judging by some thirst tweets about him... maybe some fans would prefer him to post more revealing photos of himself... but me being the weird fan I am... I'm happy not seeing anything less than what he already shows... 

Some fans may write thirst tweets about him... which I honestly enjoy reading cause some of them are so funny and cute.... although being the prude I am, some are beyond my comprehension... 

It's also sometimes accompanied by drawings that make me blush... and make me quickly scroll down cause I'm like an 8-year-old kid who thinks kissing is yucky...

Some hit me with photoshopped photos of him I wish I could erase from my memory... as it burned my eyes and shocked my soul... and was so glad my mom wasn't standing behind me and looking at my computer screen...

P.S Shock me they might... but I do respect their talent and skills at Photoshop... and their wit and wisdom in coming up with some unique take on things...

 

Most of the few photos he does post is one where he's doing something funny or a goofy face or something to promote his work....

He doesn't post photos that glorifies his physique or his muscles... 

Not saying that there's anything wrong with that.... 

So he doesn't do thirst trap posts... which is a term I learnt watching the Netflix Series, Never Have I Ever... 

But then again most of the time, just a simple photo of him... as shared by his friend... of him looking moody and grumpy, even while fully dressed... like he just woke up and was thirsty for his coffee... or wanted to go back to sleep... is enough to get him trending... 

Pretty sure, anything more revealing would probably break the Internet... and in the interest of internet-preservation... I hope things remain as it is...

 

The look many have when I start my rambling prose...  

 

I can relate with his view and opinions on things... Which I hope are really his views and not one given by his PR team... 

Some of the things he has said in interviews, were actual words I have spoken in the past... Like him saying in interviews that he doesn't give much spoilers because he doesn't want to lose his job... 

I can relate with that because my job involves sometimes being privy to P&C information... And I don't share that information with my colleagues because I've been given the trust to have access to that information and until it's announced by the management, I keep that information to myself...

So when the information is released... and my colleagues ask me why I didn't tell them, my usual answer is, “Cause I love my job... and I really want to keep it”...

Hey my colleagues may hate me but at least I'm trustworthy...  

Just sharing all this because I want to show that I'm a really capable person... Like I know the word "privy" and stuff... 

So if Tyler does think of starting a company one day and be CEO like he did in that movie... He would hire me...  

 

Wait... This looks like a “not happening ever... not even in your dreams” grin...

 

Well I thought it would be the dream of every celebrity to hire the self-proclaimed creepy fan, who is crazy about them as their staff... I'll be willing to sign any “I promise to keep the leering to a minimum” agreement... 

Wait... Did I say 'creepy'? No, no... I meant overly committed aficionado; overzealous in her devotion.... 

I did read somewhere that a good resume has words like 'committed' and 'overzealous' in them.... So, you see, I ticked all the boxes; a hire you won't regret...

 

I'm taking this to mean... yes, there's a possibility you would hire me, your passionate admirer... who would have so much passion for her work...

 

So anyway hearing that and many other instances of things I have said, repeated by Tyler... just made the crush like perhaps justified? 

Cause I really don't get why I'm having a crush on this guy I don't know in real life... 

I guess it's a first experience... a first time crush... one which I realize I hate feeling, so hoping this blog post may help give me a reason... or at least some form of closure... 

No matter how badly I see myself, and all of my faults and weaknesses... I do know my strengths... I have strong integrity.... I try not to lie unless it's to protect the other person's feelings... 

I don't cheat... I don't even cheat on my company, with my work, time or claims... If I slacked off a little with work, I try to make it up by working extra at night or on weekends...  

Hey roll your eyes all you want people, but the above paragraph is just proof that I would be an exemplary staff... Yes I'm still trying to get a job with him...  

Anyway, back to joyful contemplation of this man...

I found it interesting that we unknowingly have the same thoughts on things... 

A long time ago, he was more active on social media... sharing personal things... 

He has become more reticent over the years, and not sharing much of his life as he used to... which he has every right to do so as none of us are entitled to know what he does or where he goes... 

But in the past when he was more open... I came across two tweets from him that made him so relatable... 

One was him sharing his injured toe while filming Teen Wolf... Pretty sure I have done the same... Not on social media but I have shared a photo of my bleeding toe that got injured during my bike workout... to my extended family group chat... 

Thinking back, probably not a photo they wanted to see... At least Tyler's photo had class... Mine looked like a fly had procreated on it... 

 

Pretty sure this was their reaction too, Tyler...

 

Another time he tweeted that he was selling his old mustang... and I remember sending something similar to that family group chat, saying goodbye to my car... Pretty sure I used the same words “good times we had”... 

Like come on, it's not like the car and I sat together, arm in arm, around a campfire sharing scary stories and singing songs... 

It's not like the car could strum a guitar... or talk... It was no KITT.... 

But I felt sad selling the car.... And shared my sorrow with my family...

And when I saw that Tyler did the same... I was like awwwww... 

So I'm not the only one who thinks this way... There's someone out there with the same thoughts... 

Not sure why this would make the crush ok... but hey anything to find something in common with him... 

Like I got excited when he said pistachio ice-cream... cause me too Tyler.... Me too... My favorite too... 

Unless he's just randomly saying ice-cream flavours and that's not his favorite... It could be his girlfriend's favorite... Or he doesn't have a favorite... 

OR WORST... He doesn't eat ice-cream...

 

Gasp!

But I guess the things we have in common are our only similarities... because when it comes to the levels of attractiveness... Our appearances and personality... I'm a O compared to his 100....  

Cause I look like a boiled potato... Actually I would settle for being a baked one... cause at least they're delicious... especially when you add stuff in them... 

Those women of his are the creamy, cheesy stuffed baked potatoes to my boiled one...

Another thing I don't have in common with him  is his love of sports... especially baseball... 

Can't play it... Don't understand it... 

Don't get the terms associated it like the different bases and stuff... I know it's got to do with some kinky stuff... 

Thank you but I seriously don't want to know... 

I also am clumsy... and have aim so bad.... my baseball bat would weep to be held in my hands... 

I constantly knock into things when I walk... Pretty sure I would hit myself in my face if I played baseball...

I did try watching the game for Tyler's sake...

 

I’m not saying this happened to me during the game… but it could have been…

 

I'm also the type of person who may end up cheering for the wrong team... 

Also me... 

“Wait... who won... 

Go... wait what's the name of the team again? 

Go ball... Touchdown!!! GOAL!!!!!!!! Rawhide! Ride em in Rawhide!"... 

 

People will throw their hot dogs at me... 

 

Tyler right here looks like he wants to throw more than just hot dogs at me...

But I would probably enjoy watching Tyler play baseball...  

 

Yes…. I can happily sit and watch him swinging that bat… And again nothing sleazy about it… It’s solely for scholastic purposes… 

I’m a workout junkie now… and I need to study these things… Those arms… bat… and stuff…

 

Yup... Studying that swing of those arms... 

 

Who am I kidding... I would watch anything he does... 

I would sit happily and watch him plant grass... with pincers...

Happily watch him just hold the bat... He doesn't even have to swing it...  

 

Kidding....

Man... I'm so whiny... and pathetic... I'm just a fan... Just stanning the guy... Not sure why I have to be so melodramatic about it or give an explanation as to why I like him... 

I guess cause I haven't experienced this kind of thing before... So I need to justify why I'm feeling this way... It comes from writing reports... The need to elaborate and provide justifications... Also I'm a little bit weird...  

Actually no... Weird is if I write another long rambling post on how to mitigate the risks... I mean mitigate my feelings...

 

My writing is that bad, huh?

I guess I need to optimize my internal controls to ensure the risk of having a crush on someone I don't know personally... won't lead to high levels of impact and severe repercussions on my sanity... cause it's already tottering on the moderate levels of sanity impairment... 

*This is just basically me trying to show off that I know big words... but I actually Googled “big words to use in blog”... 

Kidding... I'm actually a professional working woman, who pays tax... 

Like I wear pencil skirts and blouses to work... 

Nobody would ever guess, would they? With the way I write stuff here... 

Sometimes I eat cake for breakfast, though…. so I may need help in that sense… but otherwise I’m quite smart… 

And no, that “smartness” is not subject to further deliberation…

 

Wait... Is that a no, Tyler gif??? 

Or are you resorting to just ignoring me??? 

I guess my attempt to come across as a professional woman may have resulted in a less-than-conclusive verdict...  

 

I was just trying to say that I'm not some jobless women living at home with her mom... 

I mean I do live with my mom... and not in a basement... or the cupboard under the stairs... I have a room... air-conditioned one... 

But it's by choice... living with my mom by choice... NOT No Choice... I do it because I'm taking care of her... 

Like I could really afford to live on my own if I wanted to... 

Maybe won't be able to then afford my fancy car... but then again... my mom likes having me around... I mean, she does, doesn't she? 

Also fancy cars are overrated... The price of the car doesn't matter... expensive or cheap... what matters is the memories built by the journey taken in it...

When Derek Hale gives the “I'm reaching the end of my patience and getting ready to choke you” look... it's time to try to bring the blog post to a close..

Sorry... where was I?

Look... I may be innocent... maybe a bit naive... 

It's not like I'm dumb... I'm just slow in the matters of love and romance... but when it comes to work, I know my stuff... 

Just like how I do research for work, I know I should research more about love and romance... but honestly I just don't want to... 

 

Thanks, I think, Dean?

Although I have to say... my dirty talk acumen has vastly improved thanks to Tyler Hoechlin... 

Or I should say his fans... with some of the things they write about him and what they want him to do to them... that I need to Google to understand... and sometimes wish I didn't Google it because now I know what it means and I feel sick... 

 

How I felt too...

 

Never in my life did I need to learn the meaning of some of these words... Seriously... No reason at all... I could have lived my whole life not knowing... 

Thank you for teaching me words I would never use.. need to know... or maybe even do... 

Like this tweet... which I love... For the rest it's all cute hugs, puppy dogs and apple pie... Barney and friends... 

Then when it comes to Tyler, the mind immediately goes off course... 

So if Twitter dies, then I'm gonna shoot my shot and try one last time...@dylanobrien - Can we be BFFs? @RealTWelling - I've never wanted a bear hug from someone so bad! @tylerhoechlin - *CENSORED* Jk, sorry we'll never meet in person. @cameronmonaghan - Luv ya, Mr. J!

— Kristyn Smith (@itsreallyKD) November 19, 2022

 

I wouldn't say I feel you gurl... cause I don't want anything from Tyler, censored or otherwise... even as innocent as a meet & greet... 

But I still find it interesting that his fans immediately go down the censored route when it comes him.... 

I tell you, the tweets I have read... I don't need one urban dictionary to understand them... I need a few... I just salute the minds of those who write these things or gif these things... for their creativity in wording them...

So anyway... having a crush on someone for the first time... at my age, when I should worry about my teeth falling out and I can't munch on chocolates or potato chips anymore... is kinda embarrassing... 

I hate feeling this way.... 

Life was more fun when I never had a crush on anyone.... Not even a celebrity...   

So not to quote Jon Snow or anything, but I don't WANT THIS! 

I want to know NOTHING too.... I want to be a girl with no crush.... Instead of being a girl with no shame...

And I'm not even a girl... I'm as old as the Sony Walkman, the Burton snowboard, the McDonald's Happy Meal, leg warmers and Strawberry Shortcake, and also the Personal Computer....   

 I don't know why I wrote it like this... I write really weird stuff sometimes...  

Fun Fact: All these things came out the year I was born...  

 

I know what you’re thinking, Tyler... Yes... I’m that old...

 

Old enough to be his mother????

hmmmm ok maybe not mother... But maybe an aunt?? 

And not the beautiful Daenerys Targaryen kind or the aunt May from those Avengers movies kind... 

But the creepy kind... like the horror movie kind... who spend their lives, standing around, stirring things in their pots... or crawling on walls... 

I would just like to go on record to say that although I might look like a hag who brews potions... I'm not the type who would actually go around brewing Love Potion No 9 for anyone... 

There are some things a person has to say no to... brewing potions is one of them...   

And in all honesty... I never realized how young he was... 

I watched Teen Wolf, and Tyler Hoechlin and his Derek Hale ways perhaps growled his way into my heart... 

Others may be had at Hello... But he had me not even at a smile... but a frown... a growl....

Then thinking he was maybe almost my age... 

Googled his info... saw how old he really was... 

Or I should say... how young he really was... 

and choked on the coffee I was drinking... that I had been pretending was spiked with Baileys Irish Cream, which I had tasted a long time ago... loved it... but now can't seem to find here in my country...

Maybe the shock may have even made me spill coffee all over my computer...

I'm sorry, Tyler.. I really thought you were older... but in a very much attractive way... The - "I probably wouldn't have had this crush on you if I knew you were so much younger than me" - way....

I should stop watching tv... also shouldn't leave my coffee so near my laptop.. which is what I get for not listening to my mom.. who told me, “Don't leave the coffee near your laptop, you're gonna spill the coffee on it”... 

Who saw the spilt coffee, and gave me a smirk that spoke volumes of “I told you so”.... 

So being the horrible daughter I am, I said, “You cursed my coffee and made it spill on my keyboard” and my mom gave me the look that said, “Keep that up if you want to eat stale bread for dinner... or worse... prepare your own dinner”...

 

Probably a wise decision... 

cause I'm hungry a lot and prefer my mom's cooking over mine...

 

P.S. Latest Update... There's an interview, that talks about the episode of Superman and Lois that one of the Power Rangers, Amy Jo Johnson directed... 

And Tyler mentioned that he was excited to have her direct as he used to watch the show, Power Rangers, when he was young... 

And I choked on my coffee again, realizing that was the show my kid brother used to watch too... The kid brother I used to babysit and even changed his diapers when he was a baby... 

 

Exactly my reaction when it finally hit me how young he is.... 

 

So now Tyler seems really young... as young as my kid brother... and I feel really old... 

Hence me trying to curb my enthusiasm for him... 

I miss the days when I used to watch a show and the hot actors on the show were older or at least around the same age range as me... At least I wouldn't feel like a creep for thinking they look hot...

Yup... Like this guy; Ian Somerhalder... No guilt at all enjoying his vampirish smirks... 

Now I'm scared to even look cause I check their bio and choke a little to see how young they are, then worry about going to jail cause I found them good-looking...

The fact that Tyler is young enough to be my nephew... makes me think I should exorcise him from my mind... 

Hmmmm... I think I need a stronger exorcist... 

 

I also have this thought... I could be crushing on the character.... Brooding Derek and dorky, sweet Clark... Even sexy Jack Harper... 

And not Tyler himself... 

I do know I like the way he speaks at cons and during interviews... But what if that's not him... 

So I tell myself, right before bed the other day, that this Tyler Hoechlin obsession is getting ridiculous... 

Like I'm not a kid... secretly hankering for the jock in high school... who's so cute but doesn't know you exist... Which I had never experienced in real life.... 

Mostly because I was in an all-girl school... Also the only thing I longed for at that age was the cake my mom bakes when she gets her salary...

   

Ok... so maybe I watch a lot of "smart bookworms falling for the most popular guy in school" teen movies... 

Which is what Netflix keeps suggesting to me... 

Stop judging me, Netflix... 

I guess I hit my lowest when I blurted out my crush to my priest during confession... 

I guess he has heard a lot during confessions... but “I feel guilty because I can't get over my celebrity crush”, is probably not one of them...

 

Well... Not exactly my finest moment, Tyler...

I kinda felt my parish priest was holding back laughter during my confession... 

Laughter I can live with... just as long as it wasn't disgust... 

The priest did advice me to stay away from these sites... and not be obsessed about a celebrity... That it's called their personal life for a reason... 

Ask God for strength and just stop looking at his photos...

Wise words, Father...  But when they share these photos, it's kinda hard to stop looking...

But I do try... I pray... I ask for strength to get over him...

Praying... Trying.... Not succeeding... 

The intentions are there… the problem is in the execution…

 

Yup... Not succeeding at all...

Of course, I conveniently left out the part that I was jealous of his girlfriend’s beauty and personality… and maybe feel a little joy when fans gossip that they have broken up… and hope that he henceforth remains single for the rest of his life… 

Because I’m pretty sure the priest would think I’m a horrible person… I mean I may be… but doesn’t mean I want my parish priest to know I’m horrible… 

It’s my own fault for going to my own parish priest for confession… who has to see me on a weekly basis… and now knows my innermost dirty secrets...

I should go to the visiting priests, who come just to hear the confessions of the parish… The popular friendly priests, the fun ones, are like rock stars with long lines of people waiting to go to them… 

Everyone is scared to go to our parish priest, who is nice but a bit strict… But I feel sad for him… seeing him sitting alone, waiting for someone to come up to him for their confession… and so I go to him… 

But now every day after mass I worry that he looks at me… and remembers me as the woman with the celebrity crush fixation…

Luckily, I left out the jealousy part… I mean I confessed that I had the sin of jealousy… but left out the “of my crush’s girlfriend”…. 

I’m like smart in this confession thing… Admitted my sin... Felt guilty for the said sin… but didn’t embellish… Only Jesus knows the rest… I hope He forgives…

Editor: Wish you would apply this non-embellishment to your blog posts too… This rambling is getting irritating…

Me: The priests hearing my confession would probably concur with my Editor…

So I tell myself, no more thinking of Tyler Hoechlin... 

Get him out of your head... FOR GOOD! 

Gave myself a good talking to... 

Like you like you see in all the movies... 

Big speeches before a battle... The riding into battle pep talk...

Yup... Exactly like Aragorn... I was very passionate...

I even held an ice-cream stick in my hand pretending it was a sword... 

Then I ate the ice-cream... I was hungry... Also it's ice-cream...  

I didn't shout "For Frodo" though... 

Although I did give an almost Aragorn speech... 

 "My dear'... I see in your eyes the same yearning that many on Twitter have for this Hoech-man... 

A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, or he gets married... 

but it is not this day... You are ridiculous... Look at yourself in the mirror... You have the personality of a dead sack.. Even snails can get bored with you... 

So thinking about him... Stop your pathetic yabbering about him... Pull yourself together, and go to sleep!"...   

So after the good talking to I gave myself, hoping to rid myself of these I-really-can't explain-it feelings, I promptly went to sleep... and dreamt of Tyler Hoechlin.... 

It was a lovely dream.. I didn't want to wake up... 

Oh well, as long as I'm not dreaming my life away as the song says...

This brought to mind, one of my favorite authors, Georgette Heyer... and this quote from her book;

I finally know the feeling, Ms. Ancilla Trent... I finally know the feeling..

There's the saying, live in my head rent free... 

So I guess Tyler lives in my head rent free... 

He actually doesn't just live there... He's like built a pool... had a Jacuzzi installed...

He maybe even had the Property Brothers over to break down some walls... built a treehouse... also maybe did some landscaping for the garden... 

 

That bad huh, morghulis man?

Honour... Pride... And everything in between...  

 

I wish Tyler would vacate the premises of my mind... It's so exhausting thinking of him... 

I hate thinking...

I need my mind back... I wish he would move out... He's like that difficult tenant that refuses to leave.... I'm calling the cops...

And I'm old... I'd rather worry about menopause....So I should put a pause on men...

 

Sorry, thought the play on words was cute...

 

I should be worrying about grandkids..... which I luckily don't have because

1. They are scary, noisy and smelly...

2. I would be an awful parent... The kind everyone hates because they pamper their kids too much... never say no to them.... and never discipline them... who has kids that kick you in the back of your seat... and their parents do nothing... 

   Like lady, if you don't stop your kid kicking my back... I'm going to curse him and make him vomit on you... so you have to spend the rest of the flight smelling of whatever he ate... 

   

I'm sorry...I'm not a kid-hater... I love kids... just don't want to have any of my own... 

I think I WOULD CRY before I could scold them... like before they could cry..... I would be bawling... 

My friends talk about their kids getting into mischief and lying to them, and disrespecting them... and how they scolded them... and maybe punished them... and I know the kid did wrong but I still felt for the kid... 

 

See? How can anyone punish this contrite ball of everlasting cuteness?

 

I'm like... oh no... not adorable Ann.. don't scold her... don't punish her... 

And people are like... be grateful you don't have kids... and I'm like ok... I'll go with grateful.... 

Sorry... I was thinking of Twitter and how this fan wrote this thirst-tweet about wanting to match her DNA with Tyler and have kids... 

My reaction exactly..... 

Whatcha Willis-ing about... No matching DNA... 

Stay away from his DNA... his body parts... from him!

Match nothing with him.... Not even in your dreams!

Sigh...  

Sometimes I wish I had never laid eyes on him... Stanning someone is hard... 

I miss having no feelings....

  

Wait... Are my blog posts that much of a torture, Tyler gif???? 😟

You know what... I guess it is... 

 

So anyway this is just my rant about my crush... I suddenly had this overwhelming feelings... and needed to share... 

Maybe some of you would be able to relate... Maybe some of you would think I'm nuts and wish I would forget my blog login password so I won't write anymore... 

Everyone gets over their crush, don't they? I mean I hope they do. 

Anyone know any good clinic that has the antidote for the Tyler Hoechlin obsession cause this kind of rambling is getting ridiculous...

 

Man... My blog post was that bad, eh???

 

P.S. 

I'm a fan of Tyler Hoechlin yes... but not as obsessive a fan as my writing would indicate... I didn't mean half of the things I wrote here... 

Ok maybe I did... I do try to be honest as much as I can in my blog posts... Overly dramatic sometimes yes... but honest... 

Although I do tend to over-exaggerate a little some of the things I write... 

 

I do stan Tyler Hoehlin, but not in a disgusting, sleazy way... but more in a respectful kind of way... Like a casual, distant observer... 

He may or may not be in a relationship right now and will be disrespectful to his girlfriend for crushing on her man... 

 

Can I pout, Tyler? Just a little?

I read that he mentioned to a fan during a con appearance... that he has a girlfriend... so he didn’t want to do certain poses with that fan during their photo op out of respect for his girl... 

I know I should have stopped eating... in painful, sorrowful agony... reading the “I have a girl” thing... but I just thought it was so sweet that he was so considerate towards his girlfriend.... also I was hungry...

 

No No Tyler... I'm being supportive  of your relationship...

 

Relationship or not, it's disrespectful either way to have a crush on a man I barely know...

Although, jealous or not, I would never wish harm on any of the women he is friends with, acts with and is in a relationship with.... 

I wish him nothing but the best and lots of happiness with his family, friends, and significant other...

I'm a fan because I like that he inspires me to pursue my dreams... 

Whether it’s doing workouts or writing this blog… I set goals and try to achieve them… 

I may not be successful in my endeavors.... but the joy comes from working on my goals... It’s not just the end product but the process… The doing of something I love and enjoy…

He's the reason I got into writing this blog and it doesn't matter if no one reads my blog... it gives me something to look forward to... the process of putting thoughts into words... 

It's like writing a personal diary...but in a fun way because of the gifs and pictures...

Hopefully an occasional casual reader of this blog... which I hope I would have someday... would be able to relate to the things I write... maybe even be amused by it...

 

Wait... Seriously??? No one likes my writing?  

 

My mind is a scary place to be in. 

This crush on Tyler Hoechlin does come with benefits though... 

He inspires me... although unbeknownst to him... to do my workouts and be more active... I read in interviews, with him and with the cast, that he is always in the gym... even when he's tired or after long hours at set... 

And that inspires me to wake up in the morning and do my workouts too... no matter how tired or how lazy I am to wake up... and to do it again at night after work... 

Even after a heavy workout the night before, HIIT or dumbbells, I wake up a little sore... but still don't skip my morning aerobics...

So on the days when I'm weary, when my body aches, and I just want to lie in bed... 

 Or I crawl back from work… exhausted… mentally and physically… and wish I could go directly have my shower… and stagnate in front of the TV… 

I ask myself what would Tyler do... 

Then think of him doing his workouts after a long day at work... which gives me the push I need to lay that yoga mat down… and get my workout mode activated…  

And happy to say that I am losing weight, although I have no aspirations of being thin. 

My aim is simple: to be fit, to be healthy.

 

Like Tyler...

I used to look at the 3 flights of stairs in my office as Mount Doom, way over in Mordor... 

Hoping the lift was open so I could use that instead… 

But now I can climb up the stairs without clutching my heart... 

Some days when my stamina is in a good mood... I find that I'm still breathing well after climbing all those flights of stairs... 

 

Sometimes I can even jump like this… 

Ok maybe not from high up… but from the last step down… 

If you’re rolling your eyes… Remember I’m wearing heels... and the only jumping I used to do before was jumping to conclusions....

 

Tyler doesn't seem impressed....

I've only got two goals on my weight loss journey.... 

One to go hiking one day without needing an ambulance halfway through.... 

Two to run a marathon.... Those are my goals and aspirations... Any weight I lose will just be a bonus.

One day, I might pen the tale of my weight loss journey... my experiences and the things I learnt along that journey... 

 

Hmmmm... Wait... Is that excitement for my workout blog post?

 

Or the casual blog readers, who accidentally stumbled onto my blog... mentally stabbing me for my nightmarish blog post? 

Me: (pout)

I do like Tyler's personality... 

I like that he's friendly to his fans... and always polite to people... 

That he never speaks ill of anyone.... never complains publicly... or says anything bad about anyone he has worked with... even an ex... He keeps his private life and grievances private, and I like that about him... I could use a dose of the same sometimes...

I have seen so often, even in his private moments of videos taken by others, that the word “Thank you” is an ever-ready part of his vocabulary.... 

Whether it's to his fans who give him gifts, the person interviewing him, or the waiter serving him (from his voice heard in the background), even to the paps, the word “Thank you” is always ready on his lips...

 

Maybe it's his upbringing... Maybe it's just something innate in him... Whatever the reason, it's one of the things I like most about him... More than his looks, it's his personality that I like...

So often, at work, I see so many people, after you have done a service for them or helped them with their work, or explained things to them... forget to say the word “Thank you”... 

People don't realize the smile or joy you could give a person with something as simple as your “Thank you”...

I like the close bond he has with his family... For me, guys who are there for their family... spending time with them... are sexier than those who show off their abs in front of the mirror, in only their underwear... 

I've always been into family guys... not those partying kind... I'm not really sure what kind of person Tyler is... 

But it doesn't matter as it's no concern of mine... and I'm not into him in that way... and he could party as much as he wants... it's his party, he could do whatever he wants too... 

 

Me too, Lois... Me too... 

I love dorky Tyler Hoechlin too... 

 

Doctors bring physical even emotional and mental healing... but every beautifully performed dance, filled with devotion, passion and love, brings healing to the soul... 

So I think when I watch a beautifully performed dance.... whether it's a classical one or a fun hip-hop one....  

I mean I'm an Indian... You watch an Indian movie, you'll get dancing...

I once watched a video of Tyler dancing with a woman, I presume it's a fan... I was entranced... She was beautiful... I got jealous...

 

My reaction too, but with less cuteness...

I enjoy watching a good dance performance... Like those from Dancing with the Stars... or the dance group, Diversity from Britain's Got Talent... 

I watched the show “Got to Dance” just to see Ashley Banjo and Adam Garcia dance... My dream is attending a live Riverdance performance one day... 

And will forever treasure every moment I got to watch the late tWitch dance on the Ellen Show... Even more when it was with his wife... May his soul rest in peace...

So having good taste when it comes to dance moves... 

Somehow the above dorky yet endearing dance move that Tyler did at a con.... is the one that holds a special place in my heart...

So anyway Tyler and his family...  

I am a fan because I do get all gooey seeing him spend time with his family... going on trips with his parents, family dinners or how he constantly talks about them with so much joy... 

The fact he visited his family and went on holiday with them as soon as he was released from quarantine after filming was done in Vancouver, made me melt as much as Olaf did... 

 

Me too Olaf... Me too...

 

He has been acting from a young age... There has never been any scandal in his past... No DUIs... Which is rare for kids especially those from rich family... and those who enter the Hollywood scene at a young age... 

So far he seems to have a clean record..... Fingers crossed.... 

The only thing is his dating profile... which is very long... 

And the many articles written on that subject.. Like you only have to Google his name and you have a long list of articles to choose from... 

Like couldn't they write about his motorbike instead...

But then again I only hate those articles and that really long list, because I'm just jealous of those women.... 

I would get jealous if he dated his baseball bat.....  

 

I'm sensing anger from your gif, Tyler. But perhaps I earned that ire...

 

There are many child actors, who do not turn out so well... which I sometimes feel could be due to not having a strong family foundation to lead them on the right path... 

A family who looks out for the person they are supposed to protect instead of looking out for themselves...

I'm not judging them as I don't know what circumstances led them to it... Also I have no right to judge their life... But I know I am the way I am, kooky and weird though I may be, is because of my parents' upbringing... 

I may not be perfect but I do try my best to lead a life that is good... with my family accepting me for who I am...

It may not always be perfumes and shepherd's pie... I may get annoyed by them... Irritated by them... Sometimes we fight... Quarrel... Get angry with each other... Don't agree with some of the things they say or do... We may even hurt each other through words and action... 

Yet at the end of the day, I would do anything for them... and be there for them as they have been there for me... and like nothing better than spending time with them... Nothing like a strong family bond to keep you grounded... 

Although I can't fully blame the parents or their families... There are many who are alone in this world... With no family to call their own... Yet have risen in life and made a name for themselves... 

People I admire... Who can resist temptations... and the lure of those trying to use their fame for their own benefits... 

They bravely stick to their goals... believe in themselves... and follow their dreams... With no family or loved ones cheering them on... or being them to support them... 

My heart breaks for them yet admire their ability to strive with nobody but themselves as their anchor...

For Tyler to turn out the way he did is probably his parents...   

I just like the passionate way his parents and mine approach life... whether it's being active... or doing charitable acts of kindness for others...

His mom is an amazing, award-winning cyclist... She's constantly active and setting high-powered goals for herself... and it motivates me to want to be the same... 

His dad has amazing photography skills.... His whole family is exceptional...  

While I'm just a fan... of the creepy variety...

And I love that he publicly acknowledges his parents for turning out the way he has... 

Very few celebrities actually acknowledge their parents for the positive way they're living their life... And it's one of the things I like about him. 

I once read this article and it made me become such a strong fan of his... He may not be the same anymore... and not have the same belief or strong faith as he did then... Again, his choice... 

He has turned out quite well, as it is... Decent and most importantly, friendly and kind to his fans... with a smile so lovely... it can brighten any gloomy day... 

It can make the entire room... even your insides.... glow with warmth... 

I cannot imagine a fan meeting their celebrity crush... and the celebrity berating them or treating them unkindly...   

Like having your celebrity crush say you smell funny... Or walk funny... Or hate your voice... 

Instead of giving you smiles and calling you sweetie... saying he likes your hair or your pants... 

You want to leave a celebrity crush encounter smiling... not hurting...   

I'm glad as a Hoech fan, we don't have that problem... 

All the fan encounters shared so far have always been positive... 

I've even screenshot some of them as they give me such a warm feeling inside... especially on the days when I'm feeling down...

I may have been called naive for these thoughts.. but I like to value the good I see in people...

There are some people, world figures, who inspire me with the way they live their lives... 

Maybe they are sincere... Maybe it's an act... But I would like to hope that they are all I think they are... as they are definitely my inspiration...

I hope so too, Tyler... I hope so too... I hope you never lose your shine or do anything that you regret... When there are many people who disappoint you in Hollywood... I hope you will always be the exception...  

There might come a time... many years from now... when I hope I'm wiser... although this "when I'm wiser" thing does not seem to be happening any time soon... 

And I may no longer feel the same about him... Then I'm quite sure I'm going to cringe reading back all the things I've written about him... especially in this blog post... 

 

Is that look of pity for me, Tyler?

 

I might even feel guilt.. like the guilt I felt yesterday when I ate my mom's delicious cauliflower and broccoli fritters... 

I know they say it's healthier to bake or steam them... but they tasted so good coated in flour and fried... So crispy... So tasty... 

Still feeling the guilt... Yet would eat it again in a heartbeat... it was that good!

 

Is that you asking me, “how to lose weight like that”? 

Yes Yes, I know, Tyler... that eating fritters is not exactly helping me with this weight loss thing… but seriously… “crispy” and “tasty”… Do I need to say more... Paired perfectly with spinach curry and spicy fish sambal…. I rest my case…

Also, I realized that maybe who knows... if the impossible happens and I do happen to fall in love with someone one day... explaining this blog and the things I wrote about Tyler Hoechlin is gonna be... embarrassing... maybe even tough... 

The people can break up with you kind of tough...  

If my horrible personality wasn't already enough of a deal-breaker...

I have always believed that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship… Even if I have never been in one… But when it comes to friendships or family relationships, I try to be as honest as I can… and not lie if I can help it… 

I don't believe in hiding things or keeping secrets... As it will tend to eat you alive... 

So, I will probably tell the guy… IF there is a guy crazy enough to want me…. about this crush I had on Tyler... but if he’s disgusted and rethinks his decision to be with me… hey, at least I was honest…

 

When Tyler Hoechlin gives the "I've had enough" look.

The weary look anyone reading my blog probably has...

 

Anyway sorry for the long post... Like seriously... 

It's like I should rename the post, “10 ways to be overly melodramatic”... 

I'm acting so despondent as if all the ice-cream in the world had dried up cause that would be my nightmare come to life... 

 

Man… He seems way too happy that my blog post is done…

 

Hey... It takes someone special to be able to write such a passionate blog post on their celebrity crush.. with such concrete justifications for the said crush... 

I deserve a medal... or better... a slice of cake... 

Editor: You need a life!

Me: (pout)

 

Awww... Thanks for making this glum, pouty face for me, pumpkin pie…

Take that, Editor!

 

I know I sound like a pathetic, whiny, maudlin fool... 

But in reality..... I'm actually.... 

all that and more... 

 

Thank you, Tyler...

Also sorry if I offended anyone with what I wrote... especially Tyler and his family...  

And for making assumptions about his life that I had no right to make... and for calling him pumpkin pie... 

I have never eaten pumpkin pie before, you see… and I would really like too…

All I have eaten is the Indian version of pumpkin that my mom makes... with spices and chillies... that is spicy and so delicious... 

 

You're craving pie too, aren't you, Tyler?  

 

I'm sorry if I hurt anyone... I meant no offense...  

I also apologize for any feelings of disgust I might have caused with this blog post... 

It was all done in good fun... 

 

I do tend to write very rambling posts, don't I? 

 

So in conclusion... 

 

Yes... Stop being so melodramatic... It's just text... 

 

Do I watch a lot of Tyler videos on YouTube like his con appearances and interviews?

Yes. I do. I like listening to him talk.

 

Does my mother know I'm watching those videos on my laptop?

Probably not. Cause she keeps telling everyone that I work so hard, always doing my office work, even until late and on weekends.... always at my laptop...

Yeah... no mom... I'm not doing my office work but too ashamed to tell you what I'm actually doing. 

Would I buy a fan-meet with Tyler Hoechlin, or even acknowledge him if I ever see him in person or at an airport, or like anywhere?

Probably not... Cause I'm like the Tasmanian Devil... and look like that witch.... you know... the one who gave Snow White the apple... I don't want to scare him... 

 

Do my family and friends know of these feelings?

They're catching on...

Ok ok... Probably due to all the Tyler gifs I send in my family chat group, office skype, and inserting his name in every conversation... 

And hopefully not because of the “I love Tyler Hoechlin” messages written on my bathroom wall at home and at work...

Hey.... That wasn't me... Really wasn't me... I'm a good girl, I am!

Am I a crazy stalker fan who will kidnap him and tie him to a bed...

Errrr No... Of course not... I would never do that... My mom won't let me...

Besides, I don't own a sledgehammer... 

No basement or attic either...  

 

I'm kidding, Tyler... Don't look so worried... 

I'm not that kind of obsessive fan... 

I promise I won't go all "misery" on you...  

 

Will I give him a love potion if I could get one? Like the Love Potion No 9 perhaps?

Of course not... 

Have you seen him? 

I would need a stronger dose... Maybe No. 59? 

 

Yup...  Definitely a stronger dose... 

 

Do I need a cure for this “thinking of him” all the time problem I'm having?

Yes. I do.

 

Would I take that cure?

Probably not. I like thinking of him. His laughter makes me smile. 

Do I need an intervention? Maybe even an exorcism?

Probably. 

 

Am I going to get one?

Probably not...

 

Wise move, Tyler...

 

Do I need to diet and lose weight, as I continue on this weight loss journey of mine?

Probably...

 

So shouldn't I stop eating the cheesecake that's on the table beside me... while I type this? 

Yes

The cake, which my mom lovingly made for me... which I hope is because she loves me... but is more likely because she was bored and we had cheese at home...

Probably...

But will I stop eating the cake? 

Probably not.... 

It's cake! Nobody in their right mind would ever say no to cake.  

 

I go eat cake now... bye...

 

End of announcements.  

 

 

 

 

Some of the gifs and photos used here were taken from : https://churkey.tumblr.com/ and https://x.com/likeswaffles

P.S. The GIFs here include those I created myself, but if I’ve used any of your GIFs or photos without proper credit, please let me know so I can correct it. I apologize for any oversight.